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You can still help us meet our $4 million goal to rescue babies!

Save babies from abortion and support SEE LIFE 2020!

Give to Save a Life!

Yes, I’ll help save babies from abortion!

You can still help us meet our $4 million goal to rescue babies!

Save babies from abortion and support SEE LIFE 2020!

Give to Save a Life!

Yes, I’ll help save babies from abortion!

Sexless Marriage and Divorce

If a couple has absolutely no sex life, are they still married in God’s eyes? When does a divorce actually begin? I’ve always believed that sexual intercourse is the glue that cements the marital bond. The Bible even says, “The two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). But for the last 20 years my marriage has been sexless. At one point my wife even said to me, “We are never having sex again.”
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Technically speaking …

You bring up an interesting question.

Along with Genesis 2:24-25 and 1 Corinthians 6:16, Jesus appears to teach that divorce — in the absolute sense — is physically and spiritually impossible: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6, ESV). In other words, He seems to say that the union created through sexual intercourse is in some sense unbreakable.

In the verses that follow, Christ expands on this idea. He suggests that divorce has never been anything but a kind of legal fiction. It’s a formal concession to human sin, weakness, and hardness of heart that can never really undo the organic connection established when a man and woman become one flesh.

And if that’s true, the answer to your question is that, in God’s eyes, a divorce can never begin at all. It can’t begin if it doesn’t actually exist.

But practically …

We realize that response probably isn’t going to help you deal with the struggles in your marriage.

If you believe what Jesus says about the permanence of the bond between you and your wife, you might be more motivated to work through the difficulties. To make that happen, though, you need a plan of action.

Right now, the most important question isn’t theoretical — When does divorce begin? It’s practical — Why has my wife said, “We are never having sex again”? If you want to answer that question, you need the help and guidance of a trained and licensed marriage counselor.

Call us for a free over-the-phone consultation. Our licensed or pastoral counselors would be happy to talk with you. And they can provide a list of recommended therapists in your area for ongoing support.

 

Resources
If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.

Healing the Hurt in Your Marriage

The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

The Book of Romance: What Solomon Says About Love, Sex, and Intimacy

The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women: Discover the Secrets of Great Sex in a Godly Marriage

Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex

Starved for Affection

The Way to Love Your Wife: Creating Greater Love and Passion in the Bedroom

Referrals
Hope Restored® marriage intensives

Articles
Sex and Intimacy

Copyright © 2013, 2020, Focus on the Family.

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