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A Marriage Meditation: Disappointment

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A young man and woman sit at a table and talk over a cup of coffee
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When your marriage isn't what you expected and you feel disappointed, how can you get back the spark?

Are you disappointed with your marriage? Today’s Marriage Meditation includes helpful Scriptures and ideas to help you see your marriage through God’s eyes and reconnect with your spouse.

Getting Started:

  • Watch today’s Marriage Meditation video.
  • Read today’s Marriage Meditation devotion.
  • Share today’s question with your spouse.

Today’s Devotion

Scripture Readings: 1 Peter 5:7, Philippians 2:13, Hebrews 4:16

“You know the honeymoon’s over when…”

Most spouses can fill in the blank with a funny story of the first time they realized they had married an imperfect person. For some couples, the story is about something mundane: the “right” way to fold laundry or load the dishwasher. Or the toothpaste. Do you squeeze from the middle or bottom of the tube? Most couples cope or compromise and then move on.

But what happens when a husband or wife can’t move on? When they can’t see past their spouse’s flaws?

For some, disappointment comes from discovering a spouse has an addiction or is abusive, deceitful and dishonest. If this describes your spouse, find a trained, Christian counselor who can help you. You are worth helping!

Other couples, however, struggle with more day-to-day disappointments. A husband isn’t the spiritual leader in the home. A wife may be less encouraging than when you were dating. He or she doesn’t live up to expectations. The relationship is boring, predictable. You’d hoped for “more,” but it’s not happening. What should you do?

When marriage seems disappointing and difficult, remember these three things:

God cares about your marriage

God cares about you. He cares about your spouse. He invites you to bring your disappointments and frustrations to Him. First Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast our anxieties on Him, “because he cares for you.” God wants you to share your burdens with Him. You’re always welcome and can talk to Him any time.

God is at work in your marriage

Philippians 2:13 reminds us that “It is God who works in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” There is never a time when God is not actively involved in your marriage. When you experience disappointment, remind yourself that God is at work.

God gives grace to help your marriage

Grace makes the tough times bearable. God wants to extend His grace to help you through the rough spots in your marriage. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” Hebrews 4:16. God never runs out of grace, and He’s always willing to lavish His grace on us.

Reconnect with your spouse

Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve sat down for a real heart-to-heart conversation. If so, here are ideas to help you and your spouse reconnect:

  • Go back to where you started. Talk about your dating relationship, your wedding, your honeymoon. Remind yourselves why you pursued the relationship.
  • Relive some good experiences. Remember the fun you’ve had as a couple. Pull out old photos or postcards and share memories. Relive an adventure from when you were first dating.
  • Find common goals. Talk about your future. Make plans. Save up for a vacation.
  • Look for shared interests. Find an activity or hobby you both enjoy — or would both enjoy trying.
  • Share your dreams with your spouse. What’s on your bucket list? Do you want to write a book? Build a cabin? Travel? Go back to school? Can your spouse help you achieve your dream?

Today’s Question

How can we reconnect as a couple?

More Resources

  • Learn more about reconnecting as a couple by engaging in healthy “heart talk.”
  • Read the “heart talk” dating guide for married couples.

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.
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