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Believe the Best in Your Spouse

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woman looking at husband and stepchildren
© Iratxe López de Munain
If you believe the best in your spouse, you can replace negative thoughts with the truth and bless your marriage.

The kids were down for bed, so my husband, Byron, and I were alone when our conversation took an unexpected turn.

“Sometimes I don’t think you’re believing the best about me when it comes to Wesley,” Byron said. “I don’t think you fully trust me.”

My first response was denial. I said of course I trusted him to treat my son the same way he treated his two biological children, Ethan and Layla.

But then he gave several examples where I had challenged his parenting decisions. He continued, “I’m asking you to believe the best about this situation and me.”

Several times over the next couple of days, I asked myself, What do I really believe about Byron?

During these pensive sessions, I wrote out some thoughts I’d had about him that stemmed from fear that Byron wouldn’t love Wes because he’s not Wes’ bio dad. Deep down, I knew these thoughts weren’t accurate, so I prayed and went to work battling them. In addition to writing out the ugly thoughts, I also penned what I would instead choose to believe about Byron.

Thought: Byron forgets about Wes.

Truth: I would never forget about Ethan and Layla. Byron would never forget about Wes.

Thought: At bedtime, Byron spends more time with Ethan and Layla than with Wes.

Truth: Byron isn’t going to show favoritism. He’s going to give our children exactly what they need at bedtime. The Lord will guide us daily.

Thought: When Byron came home yesterday, he hugged Wes last on purpose.

Truth: Byron wouldn’t want Wes to feel any less loved than Ethan and Layla, as I’d never want Ethan and Layla to feel any less loved than Wes.

One evening soon afterward, Ethan and Layla were at their mom’s house. Byron called and said, “I need to finish up a work project. I’ll be home late.”

Immediately my mind began, He’s coming home late because it’s just Wes and me tonight. He’d be on time if Ethan and Layla were here.

Almost as immediately, I caught myself. No. He’s working late because of this project. It has nothing to do with who is and who isn’t home. I exhaled a sigh of faith.

One lie caught. One battle of the mind won. One step of hope in believing the best about Byron with God’s grace holding us together.

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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