Believe the Best in Your Spouse

By Lauren Blaschke
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© Iratxe López de Munain
If you believe the best in your spouse, you can replace negative thoughts with the truth and bless your marriage.

The kids were down for bed, so my husband, Byron, and I were alone when our conversation took an unexpected turn.

“Sometimes I don’t think you’re believing the best about me when it comes to Wesley,” Byron said. “I don’t think you fully trust me.”

My first response was denial. I said of course I trusted him to treat my son the same way he treated his two biological children, Ethan and Layla.

But then he gave several examples where I had challenged his parenting decisions. He continued, “I’m asking you to believe the best about this situation and me.”

Several times over the next couple of days, I asked myself, What do I really believe about Byron?

During these pensive sessions, I wrote out some thoughts I’d had about him that stemmed from fear that Byron wouldn’t love Wes because he’s not Wes’ bio dad. Deep down, I knew these thoughts weren’t accurate, so I prayed and went to work battling them. In addition to writing out the ugly thoughts, I also penned what I would instead choose to believe about Byron.

Thought: Byron forgets about Wes.

Truth: I would never forget about Ethan and Layla. Byron would never forget about Wes.

Thought: At bedtime, Byron spends more time with Ethan and Layla than with Wes.

Truth: Byron isn’t going to show favoritism. He’s going to give our children exactly what they need at bedtime. The Lord will guide us daily.

Thought: When Byron came home yesterday, he hugged Wes last on purpose.

Truth: Byron wouldn’t want Wes to feel any less loved than Ethan and Layla, as I’d never want Ethan and Layla to feel any less loved than Wes.

One evening soon afterward, Ethan and Layla were at their mom’s house. Byron called and said, “I need to finish up a work project. I’ll be home late.”

Immediately my mind began, He’s coming home late because it’s just Wes and me tonight. He’d be on time if Ethan and Layla were here.

Almost as immediately, I caught myself. No. He’s working late because of this project. It has nothing to do with who is and who isn’t home. I exhaled a sigh of faith.

One lie caught. One battle of the mind won. One step of hope in believing the best about Byron with God’s grace holding us together.

This article first appeared in the June/July 2020 issue of Focus on the Family magazine. Each article is copyrighted © 2020 by the individual authors. All right reserved. Used by permission.

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