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Finding My Inner Handyman for My Wife

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Inner Handyman - A man working on the electrics of a lamp.
© Flamingo Photography / iStock
How many years does it take a husband to replace a light fixture for his wife?

Our house was 20 years old when we moved in, but in good shape overall. Yet some things weren’t our style. The wallpaper.
The kitchen cabinets. And the blue toilet in the kids’ bathroom. But it flushed and didn’t leak. We could live with it and other things because I hadn’t yet found my inner handyman.

There was one project my wife, Rita, wanted me to tackle immediately: the massive fluorescent light fixture over the kitchen island. Personally, I liked how it illuminated the entire room. Rita called that fixture the “surgery lights” and rarely allowed it to be turned on.

Time passed

I heard her complaints. I validated her desires. And yet I said, “OK, when one of the bulbs burns out, we’ll replace the whole thing.”

Well, apparently some fluorescent bulbs last forever. Especially when electricity never flows through them.

To her credit, Rita didn’t nag. But she did . . . remind. And I . . . delayed. I know I’m not a handyman. I dread any kind of leak or loose hinge. And I know something else: As soon as I complete one project, Rita might have another one lined up. It’s not like I can finish these tasks and find rest.

But I needed to do something about that huge light fixture.

An idea that worked

For our wedding anniversary, I grabbed some brochures from the lighting supply store and folded them inside a nice card. She opened the card, saw the materials and thanked me profusely. Within days we had picked out light fixtures, and I found a wonderful electrician who helped us with installation. He hauled away the old fluorescent monstrosity and patched everything up. All for less than I’d paid for more traditional anniversary presents in the past.

There will always be things that need fixing—projects we need to get to sooner rather than later. A family does not tolerate an inoperable toilet
for long. 

Even if you’re not a natural, it’s good to embrace your inner handyman, at least for the easy stuff. So clean the gutters. Plunge the toilet. Replace the thermostat. Wedge the sliding door back on track.

And there are also things in your home that are not broken, but your wife wants changed. Don’t argue. Don’t debate. Don’t put them off too long.

If it’s on the honey-do list, be a honey and do it.

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There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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