God’s Presence in Your Marriage

Share:
brickrena/istock/thinkstock
When we remember that God is always present, all the Scripture verses about how to treat each other take on an added importance. With His presence at the center of our homes, we can transform our marriages.

It was such a small point — almost a throwaway line, but it hit with such force in the middle of my sermon that a woman in the church made plaques using it, and those plaques now grace many homes in the Houston area: God is in the room.

Most believers know that God is in every room we walk into. But we forget, and then we act as if He’s not. God is relegated to a belief, a memory, a “system of principles,” not a real presence.

If you want to transform your marriage, consider how you can make God’s presence the center of your home.

When we remember that God is in the room, all the verses about how to treat each other take on an added importance: “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21, emphasis added). Because my wife matters so much to God (Ephesians 5:1 calls us “dearly loved children” in the NIV), she should matter so much to me. When God tells me, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19), it takes on a little added significance when I remember that God is watching me every time I speak to my wife — on the phone or in person.

Being more aware of God’s presence has led me to focus on having a more God-ordered marriage. I ask myself much different questions than I used to. As a young man, I’d end the day by thinking, Am I OK with how I was treated today? Am I happy with my marriage? With God as the center of our relationship, I now often reflect on, How does God feel about the way I’m treating His daughter (my wife)?

Loving with God’s help

By putting God at the center of my marriage, I am able to enlist His help to love. Johann Sebastian Bach famously wrote the letters “JJ” at the top of the page when he was beginning a new musical composition. The letters stood for a Latin phrase Jesus Juva, which essentially means, “Jesus, help me.” God doesn’t give me an impossible list of things to do as a husband and then say, “Go do it.” On the contrary, He says, “Let Me love your wife through you.” He’s here to help.

Consider this, because I don’t think it’s a coincidence: Just before the apostle Paul lays out how husbands are to love their wives and how wives are to love their husbands, he wrote (in Ephesians 5:18), “Be filled with the Spirit.” A fuller translation of the Greek would be, “Let yourself be continually filled with the Spirit.”

God knows that on our own we can’t love the way He calls us to love. Furthermore, He doesn’t even expect us to. But He does want us to go to Him, lean on Him and learn to let His power course through our sinful hearts and minds so that we can be the kind of people who so excel in love that others take notice (see John 13:34-35).

If we would ask more of our God and less of our spouse, we’d all have happier marriages. But we often do the reverse, don’t we? We argue with each other and then go to God as a last resort. Now, before I talk things through with my wife, I try to talk things through with God to get His perspective. I’ve learned to depend on His strength. Sometimes I have to pray, “Lord, help me to care about this; I know it’s important to my wife, but in my apathy it’s just not that important to me.”

Literally every morning, I ask God to help me think of something to thank my wife for that occurred the previous day. When I ask Him to help me affirm and encourage my wife, God is good at reminding me of things I’ve forgotten. He wants His daughter to be cherished and is delighted when I ask Him to help me do precisely that.

Seeing God more clearly

In applying myself to love my wife as God’s daughter, God makes himself more real to me every day. He answers my prayers. He gives me His strength. He offers His perspective. He gives me hope, conviction, encouragement and counsel. The more I invite God into my life and marriage, the more real He becomes to me. He was there all along, of course, but now my eyes are open to Him wider than ever before. I see Him more clearly.

This may be especially true if you’re in a difficult season of marriage. When things are easy, you may not feel the need for God so strongly. But when you know you just don’t have what it takes, God is far more than a distant friend; He becomes your only hope. And with a God like ours, leaning on Him as your only hope is a very safe and certain thing to do.

When you put God’s Word at the center of your marriage, the Scriptures will find a way into your heart, not just your mind, so you can be convicted by God’s Holy Spirit. When your spouse does the same, he or she will regularly go to God to receive His strength to love you even more and will open up to be a conduit of God’s love. Why wouldn’t you want this? When the apostle John wrote, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19), wasn’t he implying that without being loved by God we may not be as motivated or as capable of loving others?

Dynamic CTA Template Below

Focus on the Family Plugged In logo

Entertainment Reviews Your Family Can Trust

Plugged In shines a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving families the essential tools they need to understand, navigate, and impact the culture in which they live. Let us help your family make wise and informed choices about movies, TV shows, music, video games, and more!
Close up of a young, pensive Asian woman listening to someone talking to her on her phone

Talk to a Counselor

If you need further guidance and encouragement, Focus on the Family has a staff of licensed, professional counselors who offer a one-time complimentary consultation from a Christian perspective. They can also refer you to counselors in your area for ongoing assistance.
Reach a Focus on the Family counselor toll-free at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).
Emerson-Eggerich4-840w

Understand How to Respect and Love Your Son Well

"Why doesn’t my son listen to me?" Have you ever asked yourself that? The truth is, how you view your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. We’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Focus on Parenting Podcast

Mom or dad, could you use some encouragement and support? Put your ear buds in for this Christian parenting podcast and get practical, faith-based inspiration through all stages of parenting. Hosted by Dr. Danny Huerta, in every 8 to 15 minute episode, you’ll hear parenting experts share Biblical truths, effective parenting techniques, and useful resources that will help you feel equipped as a mom or dad in today’s culture.
Parenting a strong-willed child resource promotion

Learn How to Speak Your Strong-Willed Child's Language

In this free 6-part video series, Cynthia Tobias, author of many popular parenting books including You Can’t Make Me, explains why your strong-willed child thinks in certain ways and gives you effective tools you can use when communicating with him or her. Start today!

Get Equipped With the Truth So
You Can Bring Light to the Lies

Abortion is not an easy subject to talk about. You want to defend the truth, to expose the realities so easily confused during these times. Yet, it is so easy to tense up, to get nervous, to get so concerned with wanting to say the “right thing” that you end up saying nothing at all. If you feel at a loss when these conversations come up, this video series, “8 Lies About Abortion,” can help equip you with the truth, and the confidence to engage in the discussion.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

Share:

About the Author

Read More About:

You May Also Like

Healthy Marriage

5 Ways to Stay on the Same Team

If you and your spouse are going to function as teammates in marriage, you need to actually understand each other’s situation and validate each other.

Strengthening Your Marriage

A Need for Grace

The more we realize that our performance will never reach God’s level of perfection, the more our excuses shatter. God’s patience makes it possible for us to learn deeper levels of repentance and joy.

Close-up profile image of a smiling man handing a small wrapped present to a smiling woman
Biblical Marriage

Anniversaries Are as Important as the Wedding

Celebrating an anniversary shows that marriage is a priority in our life. It gives us a chance to pull back from the daily grind and relive a moment that changed our life forever.