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How to Avoid Money Mistakes in Your Marriage

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Once you identify these money mistakes in your marriage, you can take steps to get your finances — and your marriage — on track.

It’s one of the top causes of conflict in marriage: money. And many couples make the same money mistakes over and over. If couples don’t make an intentional decision to stop making these mistakes, they could eventually wind up talking to a divorce lawyer. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, once you identify these money mistakes in your marriage, you can take steps to get your finances — and your marriage — on track.

Mistake No. 1: Thinking it’s only about the money

When it comes down to it, the green stuff isn’t really causing the problem. Money is just a magnifying glass that supersizes the issues couples bring into a marriage. Issues like control. Fear. Insecurity. The feeling that someone is taking advantage of you. Maybe you’re dealing with these issues in your marriage, but chances are your spouse doesn’t know you’re struggling with fear or insecurity. So, sit down, have a safe conversation (with no dollar signs attached) and share your story with your spouse. Your spouse needs to know what you’re thinking and feeling to make good decisions about the family budget.

Mistake No. 2: Playing on separate teams

Sure, money decisions are tough. And money mistakes make marriage difficult. But fighting about money never solves the issue. It’s possible to have separate views about money and still agree on the best path forward for your family. One spouse may be a spender while the other is a saver, but rather than see each other as adversaries, think of your spouse’s money style as complementary. A saver looks to the future and puts money aside. A spender sees the need and looks for ways to solve it.

Mistake No. 3: Winging it

The best way to deal with money is to have a plan. Some families use a simple budget while others turn to organizations like Crown Financial or use budget planning tools and resources like Mvelopes, Money Life Coaching and Financial Peace University to minimize their spending and maximize their savings and retirement. Having a plan means sitting down with your spouse, discussing where you want to go financially, picking a tool that works for both of you and then sticking with it. While the conversation may not be easy, it’s worth the time and trouble to avoid common money mistakes by talking about the future of your finances.

How to find help

Because money mistakes cause so many conflicts in a marriage, it’s always best to pray with your spouse about your finances. If you and your spouse struggle over money, you don’t need to feel ashamed about turning to your church or a financial advisor who can help you find common ground and develop a plan that works for you both.

Want to learn more?

Check out our money management suggestions at Focus on the Family.

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There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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