Your role as a Marriage 911 mentor is unique. You and your spouse get to walk alongside a couple in crisis. As you walk together, your mentee couple will ask questions and share sensitive information about their relationship. What should you do when their comments and questions go beyond mentoring and veer into more serious areas – like adultery, addiction, or abuse?
- Remember your role. You’ve volunteered to become a mentor, not a counselor. Your job is to “do life” with couples in crisis and use the materials and self-reflection questions in the Marriage 911 workbook and Mentor Training Guide.
- Recognize the difference between mentoring and counseling. Counseling is a formal relationship with a licensed professional therapist. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), professional counseling involves helping people with physical, emotional, and mental health issues improve their sense of well-being, alleviate feelings of distress, and resolve crises. Mentoring is an informal relationship with a more experienced married couple. Your role is to model a health (not perfect) marriage and use your experience and knowledge to provide support, encouragement, and guidance to a struggling couple.
- Realize you don’t need to know it all. When you don’t know the answer, say, “I don’t know but will find out.” Then, review your Marriage 911 Mentor Training Guide to see if the question is addressed later in the material or ask your lead mentor couple for advice. And don’t forget to review the list of common questions and issues on the Marriage 911 mentor page.
- Know when to recommend counseling. Talk to your lead mentor for advice and also read the article Marriage 911 – When to Refer a Mentee to a Licensed Christian Counselor.
If you have additional questions, ask to speak with a Focus on the Family licensed counselor. Calls are typically returned within two business days or less.
