You can still help us meet our $4 million goal to rescue babies!

Save babies from abortion and support SEE LIFE 2020!

Give to Save a Life!

Yes, I’ll help save babies from abortion!

You can still help us meet our $4 million goal to rescue babies!

Save babies from abortion and support SEE LIFE 2020!

Give to Save a Life!

Yes, I’ll help save babies from abortion!

You can still help us meet our $4 million goal to rescue babies!

Save babies from abortion and support SEE LIFE 2020!

Give to Save a Life!

Yes, I’ll help save babies from abortion!

Understanding Your First Responder

By Erin Prater
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
A photo of various firetrucks pumps, pipes, and water tools is displayed.
Photo by Markus Spiske/ Unsplash
Most men have a natural bent towards challenge; most women have a natural bent towards relationships.

In February 2008, Sovereign Grace Ministries founder C.J. Mahaney blogged about a surprising example of Biblical manhood as displayed at an ice hockey game. His entry centered around a statement made by Russian Alexander Ovechkin, left winger for the Washington Capitals: “Today was special day. I broke my nose; I have stitches; I score four goals.” Ovechkin displays the kind of boyish fervor we so desire (albeit reluctantly) for our sons, yet find tough to cope with when displayed by our husbands.

It’s a syllogism common to the marriages of many first responders: She loves him. He loves the thrill of “battle” – be it running into a burning building, pursuing a wanted criminal in a high-speed chase or entering a hostage situation to provide first-aid to a man about to bleed out.

The conclusion of the syllogism likely depends upon your gender.

His conclusion? Therefore, I love both, and rightly so.

And hers? Therefore, he doesn’t love me.

Such misunderstandings plague far too many first responder marriages, says psychologist and author John Trent, founder of The Center for Strong Families. To him, the following Winston Churchill quote clarifies a lot: “There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.”

“Battle, or the potential for battle, really trumps most of real life from an adrenaline standpoint,” Trent says. “God wired men to respond to challenge. The adrenaline produced by those challenges can become addictive to the point where all focus goes into occupational challenges presented instead of relationships.”

Most men have a natural bent towards challenge; most women have a natural bent towards relationships. According to Trent, while many women affirm their womanhood through marriage and childbearing, many men look to affirm their manhood through experiencing and surviving dangerous situations.

What is the key to building stronger marriages despite God-given differences and life-threatening situations? It lies in a shared walk with the Lord and frequent reconnecting, says Trent.

“Everybody’s great at courtship because we see it in movies, but so many of us don’t see the continuation of a great relationship lived out,” he says. “Men need to be challenged to work on their relationships. If they don’t, all women will see is their warrior picking up his sword and walking away to battle.”

Continue reading.

Copyright © 2008, Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

Learn How to Cherish your Spouse and Have a Deeper Connection

Do you cherish your spouse? Couples who cherish each other understand that God created everyone different, and as a result they treasure the unique characteristics in their spouse. We want to help you do just that. Start the free five-part video course called, “Cherish Your Spouse”, and gain a deeper level of connection with your spouse.

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

How useful was this article?

Click or Tap on a star to rate it!

Average Rating: 0 / 5

We are sorry that this was not useful for you!

Help us to improve.

Tell us how we can improve this article.

You May Also Like

Fill out the form below, and we will email you a reminder.

Fill out the form below, and we will email you a reminder.

Test