When dads are involved with their kids at all ages and stages of childhood, they will help them grow and thrive
It’s a known fact that fathers impact child development. However, it’s sad but true: we live in a society that places relatively little value on the role of fathers in the lives of their children.
A number of factors have helped to create this unfortunate situation, including the so-called sexual revolution, legalized abortion, easy divorce, and the “women’s liberation” movement with its devaluation of marriage and the husband’s place in the home. Is it any wonder the number of delinquent dads is on the rise? Too many men don’t know who they are or what they’re supposed to be doing.
We’re paying a heavy price for this cultural confusion. Study after study shows that, when dads are involved with their children, they hold the key to solving a whole host of concerns: everything from drug abuse to teen pregnancy to adolescent suicide. That’s because fathers – present and involved fathers – have a unique capacity to impact the development of their children’s personalities, skills, character, and overall outlook on life.
Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson believed that children gain their sense of personal identity – an awareness of who they are – through interaction with other people. Dad is one of the most important people in that interactive mix. Here, as Erikson understood them, are five phases of childhood development along with a few suggestions of what fathers can do to connect with children more effectively at each stage of the game:
Trust vs. Mistrust (0-2 years). During the first two years of life a child learns to trust or distrust others. Everything depends on the reliability and quality of his caregivers – in most cases, his parents.
When dads are involved with their young children, they can encourage healthy development by::
Initiative vs. Guilt (5-8 years). This is the time when kids really begin to assert some power and control over their world through directed play and social interactions. If they have positive experiences during this period, they come away feeling capable and able to lead others.
When dads are involved with their 5-12 year olds, they can help them thrive via doing the following:
Identity vs. Confusion (13-18 years). This is the period of adolescence, when teens start pushing boundaries, exploring personal freedom, and figuring out who they are and who they want to be. Increasing independence and control are the fruits of a successful passage of this stage of development.
Fathers impact child development in teenagers when they:
If you’re a dad, start thinking in terms of these five stages. Ask yourself how you can make your influence felt in your kids’ lives every step of the way. Get ready in advance for those conversations that are bound to come up as they move through the various phases of the process. Talk with them early and often about the tough and sensitive aspects of growing up – things like sexuality and self-esteem. Most of all, let them know that you’re available to hear what they have to say at any time.
The key is simply to be there for your children. Remember that when dads are involved with their children, they contribute positively to their development.
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Knowing how to talk with your daughter about issues like sexual orientation, gender identity, and same-sex attraction can seem overwhelming. This is the world your daughter lives in, and she needs you to help her process it.
How active are you in the lives of your children?
Fathers have an important role in their daughter’s lives. Here are some key insights to help dads be great.
