A father’s gifts of quality time, life-giving words, and positive actions have a long-lasting impact on his children.
What’s inside this article
Have you ever wondered, “Do fathers matter? What differences do I make in my home as a dad?” Let’s begin with the simple answer — the importance of a father is tremendous! You make countless differences in your home and family. However, how much impact you decide to make as a dad is entirely up to you!
When was the last time you genuinely or playfully smiled at your children? When was the last time you gave your kids affirmation, correction, and reassurance? If you haven’t recently, do it now and see what happens. What did you notice? Did your child light up or smile back? Did your child respond and shift behaviors?
I vividly remember one day when my seven-year-old son and I were driving in the car together. He told me he no longer wanted to become like Michael Jordan — instead, my son said he wanted to become like me! What an honor and a helpful reminder that he is watching and learning from me along the way.
As a father, how I live my life has a long-lasting impact on my children’s lives. A father has a significant influence within a family’s interactions and experiences.
If you love sports, science, stories, music, or martial arts, you know about the word momentum. The universe, countries, culture, communities, families, and people are all influenced by momentum.
As a dad, you bring essential momentum to your home. You bring a specific type of feel, action, and movement to your home in all areas of life. The importance of a father can be seen physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally in a family.
In more than two decades of providing counseling to families, I have gotten a close view into how a father’s actions impact their children’s lives. Although the life-giving power from a dad to his family is incredible and rarely discussed, God intentionally designed a father’s impact.
Here are a few ways that God designed dads to have a unique influence on their families:
The key word in the previous list is “can.” A dad can bring many amazing things to their family. However, it initially requires realizing that you are essential personnel in your home as a dad.
You bring essential teaching, guidance, motivation, correction, love, and feedback. You can give these anywhere and with no limit in creative day-to-day ways. Your impact is foundational and long-lasting.
Researchers have found a variety of benefits stemming from a father’s use of an authoritative parenting style. This parenting style balances sensitivity and warmth with discipline and structure. Within an authoritative parenting style, a father’s children are less likely to have emotional and behavioral issues. His children are also more likely to do well socially, academically, relationally, and developmentally when he balances high levels of both sensitivity and limits.
Other research also provides insight into the various and unique benefits a dad can bring into their home and children’s lives. The following examples describe studies demonstrating the potential results from a father’s positive effective parenting.
The seven traits of effective parenting are a thoroughly researched and practical template to structure the application of an authoritative parenting style in your day-to-day parenting as a dad. Below are a few examples of how the 7 Traits display opportunities for effective parenting as a father.
Your habits, shared experiences, and little things you do provide the larger momentums within you, your child, and your family.
Imagine if you could pull back the curtain and peer into your life’s momentum. You might find yourself asking questions such as:
Let’s explore a few of the ways that momentum can positively affect your role as a father.
You can bring foundation and direction through consistent prayer and reading of scripture with your family. Tell your child why you love God.
You can bring awareness and resilience by being open to learning about and discussing the critical momentums created by emotions. Carefully listen to your child and teach him not to be allergic to emotions and feelings.
You can bring focus, confidence, strength, and pursuit through your words of affirmation. Teach your child the importance of guarding their thoughts since thought bubbles turn into behaviors.
You can bring closeness and steadfastness through your gentle love, service, and presence. Gentleness is strength under control. Teach your child about the importance and foundations of humility.
You can bring relaxation, adventure, pursuit, strength, affection, and activity to your family. Teach your child the benefits of being active and showing loving affection.
The best balance is working hard, playing hard, eating the right fuel for your body, and getting plenty of sleep. Perfection does not gain long-lasting love. Imperfections allow love to be genuine, deep, active, and growing.
Dr. Daniel Huerta is Vice President of Parenting and Youth for Focus on the Family, overseeing the ministry’s initiatives that equip moms and dads with biblical principles and counsel for raising healthy, resilient children rooted in a thriving faith.
He is a psychologist, a licensed clinical social worker, and the author of 7 Traits of Effective Parenting. For many years, he has provided families with practical, biblically-based and research-based parenting advice on topics including media discernment, discipline, communication, mental health issues, conflict resolution, and healthy sexuality in the home. He is passionate about coming alongside parents as they raise contributors, instead of consumers, in a culture desperately in need of God’s kingdom.
Dr. Huerta has been interviewed by various media outlets including Fox News, Fatherly, Christianity Today, WORLD Magazine, and CBN, and he is a frequent guest on Christian radio stations across the nation. He’s also written for publications, including The Washington Post, on various topics related to marriage and parenting. He participated in the development of Focus on the Family’s Launch Into the Teen Years, a resource to help parents prepare their kids for adolescence, and he speaks regularly at retreats, conventions, and online events.
Dr. Huerta has maintained a private practice in Colorado Springs, Colorado since 2003 and has served families through Focus on the Family since 2004. He and his wife, Heather, have been married since 1997 and love being parents to their three teen children, Alex, Lexi, and Maci.
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