Questions to Ask When Considering Adoption


Isn’t adoption expensive? How can I be sure that my baby will end up in a good home? If you’re like most young mothers, you probably have questions about the adoption process.

It’s important to keep in mind that you can select the type of adoption with which you are most comfortable. If you choose either an open or semi-open plan, you will be able to establish a relationship with the adoptive parents before your child’s birth. You will be able to communicate with the family and know how your child is growing and flourishing in their new home.

Isn’t adoption expensive?

There are no fees or expenses charged to birth parents. Assistance with pregnancy-related expenses will be provided so that there is no expense to you for creating an adoption plan.

How can I be sure my baby will end up in a good home?

Adoptive couples are closely screened and evaluated through a lengthy process before being allowed to adopt. The type of adoption you select will determine how much information you receive about a potential home for your baby.

If you select an adoption plan with some openness to it, it will allow you additional freedom to get to know the couple before making your final decision. Remember, you remain in control throughout the process.

What if my child grows up thinking I don’t love him?

Adoption is an act of deep love, chosen after a lot of thought and counseling with your adoption agency. Your baby’s adoptive parents can communicate this love to your baby by sharing information exchanged during the adoption process.

You may want to create a keepsake box for your baby full of items like special pictures, a favorite charm, a stuffed animal and personal notes that will help your child get to know you better as he or she gets older.

If you desire a more confidential plan, you can still affirm your love for your baby by writing a letter that the agency will send to your child’s family.

Will I ever recover from such a sacrifice?

There are consequences to all pregnancy choices. Full-time parenting comes with grief, pain and sacrifice. So does adoption.

Feeling pain over a decision does not necessarily mean that you are making the wrong choice. It is a very personal decision that only you can make. Give yourself time to fully explore adoption. And while adoption involves grief and loss, good counseling and the support of friends, family and professionals can help birth parents grow into a place of wholeness and restoration.

Choosing adoption for your baby is a difficult decision. You’ve already made a choice for life; now you’re making a choice that involves sacrifice, focusing on what is best for your child. As you reflect on your decision, remember you made the right choice for the right reasons.

Does my baby’s father need to know?

Each state has its own requirements for notifying birth fathers. The trained professionals you choose will understand these requirements and help you through the specifics of your situation.

What if I want to meet my baby in the future?

If you choose an adoption plan with some openness, you may always know your baby. In more confidential adoptions, agencies maintain records so that if you desire to pursue a reunion, the agency could walk you through the process and let you know what is possible, based on the laws in your state.

However, remember that the agency has a legal obligation to protect the privacy of the adoptive family, just as they would protect yours if you selected a confidential adoption plan.

So what do I do now? What are my next steps?

Connect with adoption professionals in your area. Local adoption agencies will be able to answer your specific questions and provide the support you will need to make a successful plan for you and your baby.


If you need further guidance and encouragement, Focus on the Family has a staff of licensed, professional Christian counselors available to talk with you at no charge. Just call 800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

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