Focus on the Family Broadcast

God’s Blueprint for a Healthy Marriage (Part 2 of 3)

God’s Blueprint for a Healthy Marriage (Part 2 of 3)

Dr. Timothy Keller and his wife, Kathy, describe their personal marriage journey and how a biblically-rooted understanding of God's design for marriage transcends that of both ancient and modern cultures. (Part 2 of 3)
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Original Air Date: February 14, 2012

Opening:

John Fuller: If you’ve been searching for the perfect person to marry, that’s gonna be a very long search, I think. Pastor and author, Dr. Tim Keller explains the backwards thinking that many of us have bought into.

Recap:

Pastor Tim Keller: But you’re such a perfectionist, you’re afraid of marrying somebody who’s not perfect, because if you find the right person, according to Hollywood, everything will fall into place. So, ironically, they’re so idealistic that they’re pessimistic. They’re so idealistic about what marriage oughta be, how it’ll solve everything, that they find fault in everybody, ’cause everybody does have a fault and there is no perfect person out there. So, it’s a paradox. Their fear actually is driven by almost an idolatry of romantic love, saying this’ll fix everything.

Kathy Keller: And they lived happily ever after.

Tim: They lived happily ever after.

End of Recap

John: Welcome to “Focus on the Family” with Focus president and author, Jim Daly. Now Tim and Kathy Keller were our guests last time, talking about some of the confusion that we have about marriage. It’s just prevalent in our culture. And they’re the authors of the book called The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. And our host, Jim Daly and I had the opportunity to talk with the Kellers in New York City and Jim, it was a phenomenal conversation.

Jim Daly: It was, John. You know, the Kellers are just deep thinkers. And it’s always really fun to sit with people that have thought a lot about the topic they’re talking about. And in fact, we talked about misunderstandings regarding marriage and how this consumer mentality has settled into the landscape. And people seem to be shopping for a potential spouse, based on what they can gain from the relationship. So, it’s very “me focused,” as opposed to looking at that potential spouse in a way that says, “Can I give myself? Can I offer myself to that person for the rest of my life?”

Which is truly the Christian way and it’s right there in Scripture. Men, we are to lay down our lives for our wives. And women are to be that helpmate, to be that person who stands alongside in support of the man’s spiritual and emotional leadership. So, when we look at it in a biblical context, John, marriage is a beautiful thing. And when we follow God’s plan in our marriages, blessings are there. Contentment is there. Peace is there. And it’s a wonderful thing, so I’m lookin’ forward to today’s program.

John: Yeah, this is the continuation of what we began last time and the second in a three-part series with Dr. Tim Keller, who is the senior pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City and his wife, Kathy. And they’ve been married for over 40 years. They have three married children and we’re going to pick up the conversation as Jim expresses concern about how the culture has affected the thinking of the church when it comes to marriage and divorce.

Body:

Jim: The thing I’m mostly concerned about when I look at the state of marriage for the Christian community is that, with the 35, 38 percent divorce rate, which is what researchers like Brad–

Tim: Uh-hm.

Jim: –Wilcox and others have identified, those are people who are committed Christians, going to church three or four times a month.

Tim: Uh-hm.

Jim: And those are the people, they’re still divorcing at that high rate.

Tim: Yeah, not as high.

Jim: Not as high as the world, but still too high.

Tim: Yeah.

Jim: And are we disconnecting the witness that, that is to the world? Because I’ll tell ya, I’ve been sitting with people who don’t think the way we think. They oppose what we believe. They’re more open to same-sex marriage and other things. And one of the comments they’ll often make to me is, you Christians haven’t done such a–

Tim: Right.

Jim: –good job with this.

Tim: Right.

Jim: Why don’t you let us have a try? It would be so nice if our divorce rate were 3 or 5 percent, to say, “Actually we’re doing well.”

Tim: True.

Jim: But we’re not.

Tim: Maybe Kathy can be the bad cop. Let me be the good cop.

Kathy: Okay.

Tim: I guess we got this from John Newton. If you go out in the rain, even if you have an umbrella [over] the raincoat, you’re still gonna get pretty wet, fairly wet, somewhat. And I don’t know how you can go out into the culture like this and not find [that], for example, if two Christians get married, both of them have to swim against the tide of the culture.

If one of them does and one of them doesn’t, it still may end up in divorce. And it’s not all that surprising then that we are getting wet. I mean, I’m just tryin’ to say, we’re doing better than the culture, but at the same time, we’re living in a very acidic corrosive place. It’s really tough.

There’s pornography thrown at you. There’s the popular culture; you get it through TV and movies. It undercuts what you’re really reading in the Bible and something that’s more vivid. You’re reading the Bible says this, this, this, but the popular culture comes with all these songs and gripping movies that work on a worldview that undermines the biblical one. It’s not that surprising to me. So, I’m trying to be nice about it here.

Jim: Okay, let’s hear from the bad cop.

Kathy: Well, I think the bad cop wants to say that it’s not just a symptom of Christians not really understanding how marriage works. It’s Christians not understanding how Christianity works. People who call themselves “committed Christians” may be assenting to certain truths without ever having taken the Gospel in as the center that energizes their whole life.

And unless you do that, meaning my life is laid down for you in the imitation of what Christ did, then you’re still operating out of a very self-serving template when you get into a relationship, unless you’re prepared to be sacrificial in your relationship in marriage, following Christ then, taking Him as your model.

One of the most interesting things to me is I’ve studied gender roles, which is part of the book, is that both the husband and the wife get to play the “Jesus role” in the marriage. The husband gets to play the Ephesians 5 Jesus Role, where he dies to sanctify his wife and present her perfect before the throne. The wife gets to play the Jesus Role in Philippians 2, where recognizing she’s equal, you know, where Jesus recognizes He was equal with God, but yet He didn’t cling to that and He took the role of a servant, etc., etc. We both get to be Jesus in the marriage and to demonstrate that to the world.

But many people don’t even go there in their marriage. They go to church and they have a nice Christian life. But I think there’s a creeping nominalism, even in people who would call themselves “converted, born-again Christians”–

Jim: Hm.

Kathy: -where the Gospel’s not really at the center of how they conduct their relationship or indeed, their own interior life.

Jim: And it’s important for us to recognize that, you know, we don’t know all of your situation. So, you know, divorce does happen, as you mentioned Tim. It’s part of the culture. We don’t want to certainly send condemnation out, because we don’t know–

Kathy: No, no.

Jim:your particular situation–abuse and adultery and the things that do happen. So, I don’t want to communicate that message.

Tim: No and I was trying to be the good cop. But Kathy’s right in saying, it could be that American Christianity’s getting awfully thin spiritually and theologically. And so, we’re really sending people out into the rain with really no umbrella at all. They really don’t understand the Gospel or biblical doctrine. They’re professing Christians. They were raised in Christianity and they subscribe to all the teaching and I think she’s saying, but it really hasn’t sunk in very much. So, it’s really no guard against the rains at all.

Jim: When you look at marriage at its core and I think those of us that have been married 20, 25, 37 years–

Tim: Yes.

Jim: –it really is a journey in selflessness for it to be successful. As you were saying, Kathy, a person has to learn the biblical approach of laying your life down. Uh … you can’t be “me focused.” Talk a bit about that “meism,” because that’s so prevalent in all of us as human beings and even the church.

Kathy: Well, that’s the default of the human heart. I mean, that first cry that a baby gives and as soon as it’s born, that “Waah!” If you had an interpreter it would say, “Me!” (Laughter) “It’s all about me; I’m cold; I’m hungry, me!” I mean, the “me” is from the beginning.

Tim: Enough about you.

Kathy: Yeah, enough about you, me! Take care of me! And we learn various ways of saying that more in socially acceptable ways of saying that, but it really continues to be the thing that drives us. And other people exist to satisfy my needs, rather than me existing to satisfy the needs of other people.

Jim: But how do you get control of that, because it’s so pervasive in our nature. What do we do?

Kathy: You can’t. You can only kill it. And treat each other like you want.

Tim: What you do is you, over the years, you identify in each other the particular forms in which you are trying to be self-centered and manipulate the other person instead of serving ’em.

Jim: How do you do that? Give us an example.

Tim: Well, okay, I mean, the trouble is, even after 37 years, you identify certain patterns. And when you see the other person doing it, because you’ve worked through it, maybe in the past …

Kathy: So, I confess yours and you can confess mine. (Laughter)

Tim: Well, no, I’m gonna give you one. (Laughter) So, this happened two days ago. One of my sins and it’s a real denial of the Gospel of Grace, is I try to inoculate myself or make myself impervious to anybody’s criticism by working so hard.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: So, I work, work, work; I overwork. I work myself into the ground.

Kathy: You make pointless sacrifices.

Tim: Right. They’re not pointless. (Laughter) They are and they aren’t, because that means if anybody says anything to me, I can say, “You don’t understand how hard I work.”

Jim: There’s value in the work.

Tim: It’s my way of manipulating people, because in other words, “How dare you criticize me?” Even if the criticism’s really valid. But you …

Jim: ‘Cause I’m working so hard.

Tim: Yeah, I work so hard. And we’ve identified this as one of my main [failings]. It’s very subtle, because it looks like servanthood, but it’s actually selfish servanthood. Kathy identifies it as a needless sacrifice, which still rankles me, but she’s right.

Now this takes years to come up with these. You know, you have to do it enough that you finally can name it and then you discuss it and you both agree it’s a problem. And then, when you do it, the one person blows the whistle and say[s], “Wait. We’ve worked on this. We’ve talked about this. Isn’t this an example of that?” And you go (drawing in breath), “Yeah. It is I guess.”

So, for example, just Tuesday after 37 years, we’re tryin’ to clean out closets and make room, because our son just moved out. He got married and we’re having maybe somebody else in the family move in. So, I worked very hard. She was very delighted, very delighted. I felt good about it. And then in the evening, at one point she expressed some unhappiness and I immediately was very grumpy with her and she called me on it, because what I was really saying to her was, “I’ve been so good to you today and I’ve worked so hard, you have no right to be unhappy with me for anything at all, you know, ’cause I’ve worked so hard.” I was inordinately unhappy with her and she was not being that unhappy with me. But my mode is, “works righteousness.”

Kathy: That’s the mode of every human heart.

Tim: Yeah, I know, but I mean–

Kathy: We just find different ways–

Tim: –I know, this is Tim–

Kathy: –to express it.

Tim: –Keller, the preacher of Grace–

Jim: Right.

Tim: –who basically–

Kathy: Yeah.

Tim: –feels like, if I work hard enough, then nobody will criticize me. And it’s a way of basically, I would say, clothing myself in righteousness, so that nobody can condemn me.

Jim: So, you’re protecting yourself.

Tim: Yeah, but then listen; it takes years for me to admit something like that. It’s very subtle, for her to even know how to name it and we could go through about 20 of them.

Kathy: Well, there’s a dynamic that we learned early on that was very helpful and that is, I’m not a sports fan, so using sports metaphors is a little dangerous. But there’s something called “Player-Coach,” right? Isn’t there–

Tim: Yeah.

Kathy: –in sports?

Tim: Yeah, hardly anymore.

Kathy: So if–

Jim: This is good.

Kathy: –if you’re both on the field and you’re both players and you’re having a disagreement or you’re having some sort of friction, if you’re meant to be sanctifying one another and helping one another, you have to blow the whistle; step off the field and go into coach mode. “Now Honey, when I say that, what you should do is, you should call me on it and you should say, ‘Look, I love you, but you have to be vulnerable enough to say, “I’m not doing a very good job at this right now, so it’s your job to call me on what I’m saying now. All right, you do it now.”

Tim: Yeah, it takes years though, because–

Kathy: Hm.

Tim: –very often you go around and around with arguments that never get anywhere for five, six, seven years until one time you finally have a breakthrough. Because one person names, like the other person “always does,” because it takes years of experience to say that.

Kathy: Oh, I can tell one on myself.

Tim: Okay.

Kathy: Shall I?

Tim: Please, it’s only fair (Laughter). You’re just waiting actually.

Kathy: Yeah, okay. (Laughter) Well, I’m an editor by profession and I’m an editor by personality, which means I feel like I add value to anybody’s life by telling them where the potential potholes are in front of them with any plan, any idea, any suggestion they make. So, we were here and we’d been married for whatever, 15, 16, 17 years. And Tim was coming up with some kind of plan for what he was gonna do with the church and how he was gonna train people.

And I jump in, in my editorial mode. Well, you know, we have to be careful because that could … dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And Tim sighed and said, “Could you just never say, ‘Gosh, Honey, that’s a great idea,’ before you jump into the negative stuff?” (Laughter) And I felt like, “Well, that’s understood, you know. I think you walk on water. I think every idea’s a great idea. I’m just trying to be helpful.” But I wasn’t because I never was being verbally appreciative or encouraging. I was always thinking of it in, my “negativity” and my critical thinking was valuable and it was just understood, of course, that I love you to death.

Tim: She would say affirmation is understood.

Kathy: Yeah, the affirmation was understood.

Tim: We shouldn’t have to go over that ground. But–

Kathy: That’s not true–

Tim: –I add value by–

Kathy: –that affirmation’s–

Tim: –telling you where–

Kathy: –never understood.

Tim: –I think things are wrong. It just took a long time for us to finally name that and say how wrong that is. I mean, you can’t raise children that way, so you can’t raise your husband that way either.

Jim: But what you’re saying is, you really need to have an ear for one another. And again, that’s a selfless act. You’ve gotta listen.

Tim: I think we need to stress that it does take a long time, because you have one of these breakthroughs, two or three maybe a year at the most. There are constant discussions and why can’t we seem to–

Kathy: You have to be–

Tim: –agree on this?

Kathy: –prepared and looking for them, because–

Tim: And then you use them.

Kathy: –if the idea is and you said this is counterintuitive, that marriage is about presenting one another faultless before the Throne, that we’re supposed to be the vehicles of sanctification in one another’s lives, then you shouldn’t be looking for someone to marry that you think is perfectly completed. We use this illustration in the book. I don’t know whether it’s true or not, but Michelangelo was asked how he came to carve his famous statue of David. And he said, he looked around for a really great block of marble and then he just took away the bits that weren’t David.

And so many people are looking for finished statues already complete and maybe they need a little buffing here or a little polishing there, rather than looking for a great piece of marble that you can just sort of dimly see the outlines of that perfect person. And if you both go into marriage, not with the idea I’m gonna change him to suit me, he’s not gonna throw his socks on the floor if he gets married to me. But God is gonna change us both and He’s gonna be using us in that process.

Jim: Would you–

Kathy: It’s a whole different thing.

Jim: –encourage young couples to relax more about their relationship? Just relax a bit and get to know each other, love each other, experience each other and these things will become self-evident?

Tim: Yes, by relax meaning be patient–

Jim: Right.

Tim: –be very, very patient, that the breakthroughs where you get a way of understanding the other person’s heart, that my spouse and only my spouse would ever see. She names it. I agree to it. She convinces me. Those breakthroughs don’t happen, like I said (Click of fingers), real fast. And so, you do need to be patient with each other. Enjoy yourselves.

Kathy: When you’re newlyweds, you think that every fight is going to be the death of the marriage. And it’s a number of years in before you realize, we’ve survived everything. We’re gonna keep surviving everything.

Tim: Remember the night?

Kathy: Oh, I remember very clear the very night

Tim: We can’t remember how many years in, six, seven–

Kathy: We were living in Philadelphia.

Tim: –or something like that?

Kathy: No. we were living in Philadelphia.

Tim: Was it that long?

Kathy: We were way into the teens.

Tim: Well, we remember–

Jim: What happened?

Tim: –we remember a night in which we were having a fight basically.

Kathy: Every Saturday night when you had to preach the next day on Sunday, I would pick to be really unhappy about something. (Laughter) Now I don’t whether that was conscious or unconscious or what it was, but it was something that had to be talked about right now. We had to settle [it]. You had to stop what you were doing, because this was make or break. We had to decide it. Oh, no! We’re also hoping it was over. And I realized–

Tim: One night–

Kathy: –wait a minute.

Tim: –we both realized–

Kathy: Wait a minute.

Tim: –we might as well go to bed.

Kathy: We can wait until Monday.

Tim: Yes.

Kathy: This doesn’t have to be done tonight.

Tim: Right, we will solve it next week, but we don’t have any time–

Kathy: We’ll live.

Tim: –to work on it for–

Kathy: We’ll survive.

Tim: –the next 24 hours. And I think in the past, the feeling was and if we don’t solve it, we really weren’t sure about not so much that the marriage wouldn’t survive, but whether a happy marriage would survive.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: And at a certain point we realized, we will be able to work this out. We have in the past. But it took several years in.

Kathy: Probably we were slow learners. And I don’t think everybody has to be as slow a learner as we were.

John: Our guest on “Focus on the Family” today is Dr. Timothy Keller and his wife, Kathy. Our host is Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller and I think it takes a lot of courage, Jim, for couples to be willing to go to those points of conflict. A lot of couples see conflict as you said, Kathy, as the sign that it’s over, when in fact, conflict is the course God uses to kinda sand off the rough edges.

Tim: Uh-hm.

John: It takes some real courage to go there though.

Jim: Hm. That’s so true.

John: It’s so not easy to say, “Well, Jim, Honey, did you know that …?” But Jean has to do that because she loves you.

Jim: Well, sure and I think that in that regard, I think we need to have thicker skin to be able to get through those rough times. You know, some of the research that we see now is that uh … when you look at couples that are on the brink of divorce that actually stay together, fight through the pain, after five years, they’re much happier. Those that have given up and divorced, five years from that point, they’re much unhappier. And you know, I think there is evidence there that it’s important to fight. Fight for your marriage. Fight for–

Kathy: Well–

Jim: –your relationship.

Kathy: –with two sinners married to each other (Laughter), what else is going to happen?

Jim: Yeah.

Kathy: And and one thing I always tell young couples is, think about your relationship to Christ. How easy is that? Is it really easy to keep your devotional life strong? Is it really easy to keep your prayer life–

John: Hm.

Kathy: –really alive and warm? Is it really easy to be obedient in areas? Well, no, it’s not that easy. And then I say, “And one of you in that relationship is perfect.” (Laughter)

Jim: And it’s me.

Kathy: And (Laughter) no, it’s God. So, then you go to a relationship with an imperfect other human being. If your relationship to God is difficult to keep alive and warm and He’s perfect and you marry an imperfect simple human being, of course, it’s going to be hard. What do you expect?

Tim: That’s the idealism again by the way, I do think plenty of newly married people when they have their first fight say, “If I was married to the right person, this wouldn’t be happening.”

Jim: Because they think fighting is–

Tim: Yeah.

Jim: –evidence of the wrong marriage.

Tim: Yeah. Even if they don’t say it out loud, I think that’s the subtext. They’re saying, “If this was the one, we wouldn’t be doing this, because this person would accept me–

Kathy: Or have no problem with whatever–

Tim: –or wouldn’t have any problem–

Kathy: –the issue is–

Tim: –with me.

Kathy: –that you’re fighting about.

Tim: Right or this person’s more flawed than I thought, so this is not the one. I married the wrong person.

Jim: In reality–

Tim: That happens really fast now.

Jim: –in reality, what is true in that situation?

Tim: I mean, the reality of course is, that if you have two self-centered people, there has to be clashes. There has to be. And I do think in the past, people expected marriage to be more difficult and it wasn’t a big surprise. The whole idea of how marriage was a stable relationship so you could make a living, so you could build a family. We put the same burden of finding somebody who accepted me perfectly and never fought with me and accepted me for who I am. I actually really think that we put more pressure on marriage with our expectations than anybody ever has in the past.

Jim: Well, let’s touch on that, because in the book you talk specifically about how marriage does not fit the male nature. That line jumped out at me.

Tim: Right.

Jim: What do you mean by that and what does marriage do for men?

Tim: There’s one place in the book where I quote an op-ed piece from TheNew York Times, I think. It was not a Christian point of view or article.

Jim: Right.

Tim: What she tried to say was, that it’s now becoming common sense to say, “Look at all these alpha males. Marriages just don’t fit their nature.” And then she said, “Right and that’s why in the past, masculinity meant self-mastery, that you got ahold of yourself, that you governed those passions which are very hard. And a real man was a man who knew how to control himself and therefore, marriage actually basically is good for men, because yeah, they chafe against it and yet, it’s really what they need more than anything else, is they need to learn self-mastery and there’s no better way to do that than get married.

Jim: When you look at the cultural landscape today though, is that one of our core problems, that men are not mastering that and we’re out of control?

Tim: Yes, the writer of the article, I can’t remember what her background was, but she was really looking not so much at Christianity, though Christians would say that, too. But even the ancient Greeks and Romans believed that real manliness was self-mastery. ‘Cause men want to have sex with anybody they want to have sex with. Men can be very angry.

Kathy: Sinful men.

Tim: They can get very angry, that–

Jim: Control, power.

Tim: –they want to control. They want to be in charge. I mean, that’s sort of, you might say, sort of naked hormonal masculinity pushes us in that direction. But a real man gets in charge of those things; he gets on top of those things and controls their sexual drives and controls their lust for power and become civilized.

Jim: Well, and that’s what Jesus was teaching us.

Tim: Yeah and marriage, by the way, does civilize us. For Christians, it’s a way for Jesus to change us.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: But she was actually pointing out that just marriage in general, you know, the kind of common grace level, civilizes men. And I’m sorry. As a man, I’d be very happy to embrace that and say, yes, that’s one of the things we need.

Jim: And you look at the political landscape, that narrative today for men is, you know, our personal lives really don’t matter. We can lead out of our own convictions. That’s good enough. If we’ve had affairs and other things, that’s really not for the public–

Tim: Well, you know–

Jim: –to know about.|

Tim: –the irony, if you read any good commentary on David and Bathsheba, Robert Alter, who’s a Jewish expert on Hebrew literature, writes about the David narrative, where David has an affair and blows up his life. And he says, “Powerful men tell themselves, ‘I work so hard; I’ve made so many sacrifices; I deserve this.’”

And then ironically they say, “Because I’ve got power and because I’m doing so much; I’m serving the public, I should be able to have this little, you know, bit of–

John: Indulgence.

Tim: –indulgence. Except that when they do that and even today, when supposedly your sex life is private and who’s gonna judge and yet, actually nobody respects these public figures, that find out they’re cheating on their wives and lying about it. They blow up their lives.

Jim: Yes.

Tim: They do anyway, even today, it’s amazing.

Jim: There’s something in the heart that understands.

Tim: Yeah, I can go to the Bible, but I can also go to frankly all sorts of other examples to say to young men, “Get control.”

Closing:

John: Well, that’s some great insight and biblical wisdom from Dr. Tim and Kathy Keller. And it is a shame the damage that infidelity causes to a family and friends. We’re so appreciative of the Kellers and their perspectives that they’ve been sharing with us, Jim, because that really does swim against the culture and the destructive forces that are in place against our marriages. And I’ll note that the book that we’ve been talking about is written by the Kellers and it’s called The Meaning of Marriage.

Jim: John, Focus on the Family is right on the front lines of this discussion on marriage in our culture and I’m proud to be there. I think it’s important. I think when you look at the criticality of the family, I think marriage is right at the epicenter. It may be why our back is up against the wall in this regard. But we have got to, in the wisdom of Christ and in His love and grace, talk about the importance of marriage and what it does in the culture to literally underpin everything else in the culture–stable families, healthy children, all the benefits that a healthy marriage provides.

And you know, that’s why we’re here at Focus on the Family, to help strengthen families, so that they not only thrive in their own homes, but that they can be that witness to the world. The world’s watc

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The Meaning of Marriage

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As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!