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Rescuing Your Marriage from Pornography (Part 1 of 2)

Rescuing Your Marriage from Pornography (Part 1 of 2)

Rosie Makinney examines the damaging impact of porn on marriage and explains how couples can protect themselves against it. (Part 1 of 2)
Original Air Date: November 16, 2021

John Fuller: Today on Focus on the Family, we’re going to address an evil that destroys far too many marriages and families, and it’s a sensitive, serious topic and it’s not appropriate for younger children.

Woman #1: Someone told me if I loved my husband enough, he would stop using porn.

Woman #2: When I confronted him, he said he was done, and we tried to get help again and again and again.

Man #1: I was devastated when I discovered that my daughter was addicted to illicit websites.

Woman #3: He chose porn over me. He will always choose porn over me.

Jim Daly: John, those comments represent the heartbreak we hear from so many couples today, um, here at Focus on the Family. We receive about 2000 responses a day from people. It’s of all different types and nature. But certainly, this topic of pornography is one of the leaders. Uh, pornography is an unwelcome guest to any marriage, because it will destroy that marriage. It all has complicating aspects to it. It destroys intimacy, it widens secrecy, it makes you not trust one another. And that is horrific in a marriage. Porn’s a poison that destroys anyone who uses it. We need to think about that. The data is astonishing to me. And that’s why we’re covering it, John. When you look at the number of both men and women who are using porn today, uh, it is catastrophic. And here at Focus on the Family, we want you to have the best marriage you could possibly have. And if you’re in that camp, where you’re using pornography, that is not healthy for your marriage.

John: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we’re here to help. Give us a call, talk it through, bring light to that dark part of your, your life, your soul. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459, or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: And of course, as I said, uh, you know pornography is gender neutral. But far more men use pornography than women. On day two, we’re going to talk about the use by women. But don’t feel like we’re excluding, uh, women from that discussion. But most of the conversation will be geared toward the wives whose husbands are using pornography. And we have a great guest who is gonna be with us to talk about this issue. Her name is Rosie Makinney. She’s written a wonderful book, Fight for Love. And her own experience is going to explain the path forward for couples who are caught in this travesty. Rosie, welcome to Focus on the Family.

Rosie Makinney: Thank you for having me. It’s a, it’s a great honor to be here.

Jim: Now, I noticed that accent so you’re from England.

Rosie: I’m from England from Yorkshire.

Jim: Yorkshire, you just love saying that-

Rosie: I do. I’m very proud.

John: (Laughs).

Jim: And… But you’re living now in the last 13 years or so in the US in California. Correct?

Rosie: Yes, on the central coast of California.

Jim: And tell me about your family.

Rosie: I’m, I’m married to my husband, Mark. And we have two boys who are now nine and 11. And I’m attempting to homeschool them.

Jim: Well, let’s start, uh, with a question we received from a woman, a listener to Focus on the Family. And then I want you to respond to this. She said, “My husband cannot go one day without looking at pornography. I told him it’s an addiction and he needs help. He refuses to get any help because he is ashamed. I don’t want it in my marriage or our family. We have teenagers, and I’m afraid they’ll find it and think it’s alright. This could be the end of our marriage if we can’t find a solution. Do you have any suggestions?” Now this came to us, of course, we responded. But how would you respond to that?

Rosie: I think first of all, I would validate that wife’s instincts and tell her that she is, um, listening very well to what the Holy Spirit is telling her. And that this is a problem if he can’t go a day without looking at this. This is as she rightly said, this is an addiction. And she recognizes that. Um, she’s wanted him to get help it sounds like. But he’s refusing to get help. And she’s worried that her marriage may end as a result of this, like it’s going to get progressively worse.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Rosie: And she’s probably right. However, I do have great hope for her because, um, for her to get to the point where she’s actually reaching out to you guys, I would suspect that she’s been in pain for a very long time.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: And she’s felt isolated and ashamed and hopeless and helpless. And, uh, she’s probably tried many, many things to fight for this marriage already. I would from all the wives I’ve worked with, and the wives in my community, I would say that she’s probably tried the things she’s heard like, just be more sexual with him, just be more graceful with him, be more forgiving, create a loving environment so he doesn’t need to… He doesn’t feel like he has to do this. She’s probably tried that again and again, going against her own intuition, against her own feelings. Um, and, uh, but what I would say to her is, you haven’t done the one thing that actually works, because the problem as far as I see it, is that she needs her husband to get into recovery. But she doesn’t know how to do that because he won’t reach out for help.

Jim: Right.

Rosie: And this is… And what I’m gonna to say now is so simple and it makes so much sense. But yet, for some reason, we’re not quite getting there, yet. And that is what is the reason that most married men get into recovery. You know, do they suddenly feel convicted one day? Some maybe, a small minority, but what actually gets guys into that therapist office is their wife forcing the issue.

John: Hmm.

Jim: Not accommodating but forcing it.

Rosie: But forcing. And-

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: … there is something tremendously painful about a wife being brought to a place of desperation and pain, where she has to force this issue. And so, my whole heart, my whole passion is to tell women that they don’t have to wait. You do not have to wait till your marriage is on the verge of a divorce, till you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, you can actually take proactive action right now-

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: … if you know or suspect that pornography is an issue in your marriage, there are things you can do now to help bring him to repentance.

John: Hmm.

Rosie: It isn’t you that’s gonna bring him to repentance. It’s following God, it’s by being obedient to God. And that’s where I get tremendously excited, because he’s already provided the answer for us in the scripture, we just have to look at what it says.

Jim: Right. And in that respect, I mean, that’s part of your story, we’re gonna unfold that today and tomorrow, I want to, uh, talk at that higher kind of elevation. Give us the statistical information. I mean, what does it look like in culture, uh, with the church and outside the church?

Rosie: Okay. Well, we’re very fortunate in that Josh McDowell did a massive study, quite recently, where he spent like $300,000 to get the data that we so desperately need. And he found out that of guys who, um, evangelical guys who regularly attend church, 79% are regularly using pornography.

John: Hmm.

Jim: That’s… I mean, that seems unbelievable.

Rosie: It’s, it is shocking.

Jim: Now, that’s everybody that’s married and single.

Rosie: That’s married and single.

Jim: Break it down a little bit between those.

Rosie: Married, married guys, it’s 55%.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: That’s over half of marriages are struggling with this.

Jim: And these are people who are going to church regularly.

Rosie: Yeah. Yeah.

Jim: Not just the general constituency.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: What does that number look like for the general population?

Rosie: It is, it’s not that dissimilar.

Jim: Okay.

Rosie: It might be a little bit higher, but it’s not-

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: … that different.

Jim: So, 78% of men, uh, in general-

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: … and in the church-

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: And then about 55% of married men-

Rosie: Yes.

Jim: … use it. And define regularly.

Rosie: At least once a month.

Jim: At least once a month.

Rosie: That-

Jim: And this is actual-

Rosie: That was the criteria they used.

Jim: … Actually, going to-

Rosie: Yeah, deli-

Jim: … the website or something, it’s not just seeing a movie that’s a little-

Rosie: No.

Jim: Risqué or-

Rosie: It’s-

Jim: … catches you off guard.

Rosie: … deliberately seeking out alluring material for the purposes of arousal.

Jim: Okay.

Rosie: Deliberately doing that.

Jim: And it’s such a hard subject such a difficult subject, and, uh, one of the things that people will begin to justify is, is it that bad? It’s just a little, uh, assistance, it helps me, it entices a little arousal in our marriage. And it’s, it’s healthy. I mean, you can hear the explanation there.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: And you’ve heard that from people. Speak to the wider damage that we opened the broadcast with, you know, the impact to a marriage because of pornography.

Rosie: Yeah. There are so many studies now. We’re talking hundreds of studies that prove that pornography damages relationship. It’s like, I use the analogy, do you, do you know the story of the Snow Queen?

Jim: No.

Rosie: Okay, so it’s a fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen. And, um, basically, there’s a, an evil troll who creates a mirror, and the mirror shatters, and it goes throughout the world, and it gets into people’s eyes. And when they look through this, uh, mirror that’s now lodged in their eye, they only see the bad and ugly in people. And this is what pornography does, it puts this pornographic lens, so you are no longer able to see your spouse in the way that you once did, in the way that God intended you to, you will be more dissatisfied with their appearance, with their sexual performance. And also, just general decision making.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: It is this pornographic lens.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: And that’s what we women need to hear.

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: We need to have it validated because we know it, we know-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Rosie: … something’s changed. We know they’re not there. We feel it on a, on a gut level. And it doesn’t matter what we try, it doesn’t make any difference.

Jim: Well, this term that is used that many people I don’t believe understand when we talk about objectifying women-

Rosie: Mm-hmm.

Jim: That’s what you’re describing that they became-

Rosie: Totally.

Jim: They become less than your partner, less than your wife, less than-

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: And you, you begin to see them in, only in ways that they can satisfy you.

Rosie: Exactly. Because we know that what you watch affects how you think about things, we have what? A billion-dollar marketing industry, we know that it affects. It’s the same with pornography, and you’re not watching two consensual adults having sex, you are watching something that is highly violent, misogynistic, degrading, humiliating. That’s what pornography is. And for those of us who grew up before the internet, and haven’t been exposed to it, it comes as a big shock, they’re watching what?

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: And I’m not gonna go into graphic detail.

Jim: Yeah, of course.

Rosie: What is sort of very, very common and ubiquitous in most of the pornography videos, but it’s highly shocking and highly dehumanizing.

Jim: Right.

Rosie: That is what you are being exposed to. And your brain is being conditioned to be aroused by what you’re watching.

Jim: And that’s what I wanted to ask you is the brain science, that was the next question I had for you. In Fight for Love, your, your wonderful, tough book, uh, you describe that brain science related pornography, explain how, uh, porn can essentially hijack the pleasure center of your brain.

Rosie: Yeah. This is fascinating. And when I discovered this, it was like, so many light bulbs went on in my head, um, and helped me see my husband as not my adversary anymore, but an ally who needed help, he really needed help. Once I understood what was happening in his brain, or what had happened in his brain, I, I had compassion I didn’t have before. It doesn’t excuse what he did, but it, it helps. So basically, the reward center of your brain gets hijacked. So, the reward center is basically a biological way of maintaining our survival. So, whenever we do an activity that furthers our survival like eating or having sex, then our brain produces chemicals that reward us, happy chemicals, okay? The… Which is very good. We, you know. We… It says-

Jim: Right.

Rosie: That was an advantageous behavior, let’s repeat that. Unfortunately, with pornography, it can be hijacked, we can be hijacked by artificial stimulus, that actually is a, it’s called a super normal stimulus, which means that we can be conditioned to actually prefer these false images.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: And the thing that’s difference between, uh, a normal, intimate sexual relation, you know, encounter with your spouse and pornography, is that in this one, when you’re, when you have sex with your spouse, there’s an off switch. You know, just like when you have too much food, there’s an off switch. It means you can get out of the bedroom, you know, out of the dining room and get back on with your life. With pornography, there is no off switch.

Jim: Huh! So, that’s the addictive factor.

Rosie: There is no off switch. So, you can literally binge for days, because all you need, the only thing you need to do to keep this dopamine surging is to click on something novel, something new, something more stimulating, maybe more shocking, you need to up the ante.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: And you can get another hit. And this is how people get so addicted because your brain, um, when we do repeated activity, we create neural pathways. Yeah. And that helps us do things quicker.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: Like then to drive, playing the piano. So, what’s happening in your brain when you’re watching pornography is that you’re, you are creating these neural pathways connecting pleasure and the activity of pornography. And the high that you get from pornography, nothing else really counts. And this is why you see people who are addicted, you know, their hob… You know, just not interested in their hobbies anymore. Fulfillment at work, no longer does it, you’re dissatisfied with your spouse, um, hanging out with your kids just irritates you. Everything in life becomes lackluster-

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: … because nothing else can compare.

Jim: Yeah. Right. In fact, you, you relate in the book, uh, people addicted to pornography are similar to head trauma-

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: … patients. Describe that analogy, because that’s fascinating.

Rosie: Is it not wild?

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: Well, this is interesting in the fact that there’s a condition called hypo frontality, that you get in two ways. You get it from heavy porn use, or a head on collision.

Jim: Huh!

Rosie: And this basically impacts the functionality of your prefrontal cortex, which is your decision-making part of your brain. It helps you weigh consequences and make good decisions. Okay. It also shrinks your gray matter, literally shrinks your gray matter. So, you know, wives often say to me, “He knows I hate this, you know, how can he keep doing this? It’s damaging our relationship. It’s breaking my heart. It’s ripping the family apart. Why, why can’t he stop?” And the point is, his brain has been hijacked in so many ways, like he’s no longer able to feel happy, he needs his drug, his drug is no longer effective. And he’s got this condition where his brain is no longer connecting very well in the decision-making parts-

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: And, uh, he, he’s not able to reach out because he can’t override the cravings. And the cravings are coming because the brain has now been sensitized to all these pornographic cues out there that…Oh, pornographic cue, oh, that’s highly pleasurable, oh, I need to do that, decision making part of my brain is no longer functioning. It is literally a spiral.

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: And I say all this not to terrify women and make them feel hopeless. But to make them understand that waiting for your guy to reach out for help is probably not a good strategy.

Jim: Right.

Rosie: And that’s my whole point. However, there are two people in the marriage, when to become one. Okay? You are the functioning part of the brain now.

John: Mm-hmm.

Rosie: Okay? What is affecting him is affecting you. It’s not just his problem, it’s your problem. And you can effect change, you can be the catalyst, you can draw a firm line in the sand, and reach down and grab him out of the swamp, cause he can do it.

Jim: Hmm.

John: Our guest today on Focus on the Family is Rosie Makinney. And you can hear the passion that she has to help in the situation. Her, her book is called Fight for Love, call us for a copy or to talk to one of our counselors, we’ll schedule a time for you to do that. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Uh, the book Fight for Love and I will encourage you to look for your copy locally as you can.

Jim: Rosie, let’s get into your story, cause I think it’ll be very instructive for the listeners, the viewers, um, you and Mark met. Uh, describe that, and then what took place rather quickly, even on your honeymoon that gave you concern?

Rosie: So, I, when I met Mark, um, I had already prior to becoming a Christian, prior to meeting Mark, I had already been in a long-term relationship with an unrepentant porn addict. So, I’d already done this journey. And I knew that nothing I did was going to work. So, I had that experience. So, I met Mark, lovely Mark. Um, and he, um, confesses that this has been a problem in the past. And in my naivety, I’m like, “Ah, he’s confessed.” He said he’s worked on this in the past, he doesn’t want this-

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: I’ve got one of the good guys, you know? This is not gonna be an issue. You know, we’re gonna get married and everything is gonna be fine. And then from honeymoon onwards, it’s very clear that this is not-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Rosie: … gonna be okay. And something rose up in me. I went, “No, I’m not doing this again.” I know that there is nothing I can do-

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: … that is going to make this better. He needs help. He needs help. And so, I said to him, “I, I love you, and I love us too much, but you need help, because you can have pornography, or you can have me. But you cannot have both.”

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Rosie: And the only reason I was able to do that, not because I had great self-esteem, or that I knew what I was talking about. I didn’t know any of the brain chemistry and that was the right thing to do. It was only because I’d had the prior experience.

Jim: Yeah. And then in your situation, Mark responded well, he wanted to get help, I believe.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: So that was a good response. Not everybody will get that response.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: So again, speak to your experience of how, uh, favorably Mark responded. And then maybe contrast that with other women that you’ve counseled where their husbands have said, “Hey, it’s not my problem, it’s your problem.”

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: I mean, something

Rosie: Oh, totally. And even though he responded well, he wasn’t happy about it.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: And he was still in crazy addict brain. And it was really hard. It’s really, really, really hard to stand firm.

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: And that is why you need to be educated. You need support, you need people around you to validate the trauma that you’re going through, and have been through, um, in order for you to stand firm.

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: I mean, that is the whole, the whole biblical thing isn’t it just stand. Stand.

Jim: Yeah, Rosie, I’m thinking of that first… You know, the, I’m sure that wife has that inclination that fifth, sixth sense that something’s not right.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: Or it’s blatantly obvious.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: Like in your case, you knew it because you had experienced that before. Many women I would think, then begin to go over their options in their own mind and their own heart. Is this marriage worth it? Uh, you know, as he violated the marriage vow.

Rosie: Mm-hmm.

Jim: I mean, those are valid questions.

Rosie: Mm-hmm.

Jim: People may have different theological, uh, understandings of what they’re able to do, but speak to that immediate response. And what you went through personally as part of your restorative approach.

Rosie: okay. Part of the problem of being the spouse, or the partner of someone who is addicted to pornography, is that you are second guessing yourself all the time.

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: Because you hear it in the world, pornography is healthy for relationships, it’s beneficial, um, it’s empowering and liberating for women. Um, and then you maybe go to the church, and they say, “Well, you can help him with his temptations if you make yourself more sexually available.” Um, even though your heart’s going, “Oh, doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to do that. I certainly don’t want to do the things that he wants me to do. Or, actually, he’s been neglecting me for months, that can’t be the issue.” You’re so confused. And you look at your options. So, is one option is like, “Well, I’m gonna compete with the pornography. I am going to, um, be… I’m gonna fulfill all his sexual fantasies. I’m gonna be available.” Um, or you might go, “Okay, I’m gonna be totally graceful about this whole thing. And I understand, uh, that, you know, this is a ubiquitous temptation, and that everybody does it. And I’m going to be, um, I’m just gonna, you know, forgive him. And I’m gonna dig into that. And I’m gonna just rely on my faith. And this is hard. And that suffering is part of being a Christian. And that I’ve just got to put up with it.”

Jim: Almost like accepting it all.

Rosie: Yeah, totally.

Jim: And that’s not the healthy way to go.

Rosie: No. Or the other way is, I just need to get over myself, I need to get over myself, and then I’ll be able to feel close to him. But here’s the thing, you’re never going to be okay with pornography, A, because it’s demonic, and B, because the Holy Spirit is never going to let you be okay with that being brought into your relationship. The idea is not to just accommodate, is to get it out of your marriage.

Jim: I would think your, the third option is to not excuse the porn user, your-

Rosie: Exactly.

Jim: … your husband in, in the way that we’re describing it today. And again, next time, we’ll talk about-

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: … women who are using porn as well. So, don’t, don’t write us it’s only one sided.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: We get it.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: But in that context, I want you to drill into that in these last moments-

Rosie: Okay.

Jim: That we have. The, the idea that, you know, again, don’t be overwhelmed by the justification of its use.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: Stand firm in what you feel the Lord saying to your heart.

Rosie: Exactly.

Jim: But that takes a lot of strength.

Rosie: It takes a tremendous amount of strength.

Jim: And you did it. So, what were those things that you did right here at the end that really got you-

Rosie: Well, I didn’t do it-

Jim: … Mark-

Rosie: … perfectly. I would advocate that women take a firm stance of zero tolerance through education and support, you know, join a group. Okay, so we talked about husbands who won’t get into recovery. That’s okay. The answer is not to stay in a, a horribly deteriorating relationship, one that’s gonna stay stagnant and intimately void, or leave. There is option C. If you won’t get help you get help. Your betrayal trauma is real, you get help, you get strengthened, you learn how to set boundaries. And the scripture is clear that to help a husband who’s being disobedient, the word is you submit to the word.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Rosie: You keep yourself pure. And then he will be put in a place of reverential fear by your pure behavior. It’s how we get convicted. You know, my wife is making it pretty obvious that she’s not clear with this. And that conviction starts turning and turning and turning. She’s putting up boundaries. She’s serious, he needs to see that. But you can’t fake it. So, you have to edify yourself, you have to educate yourself, you have to surround yourself with women who have fought and succeeded and let me just end with this, you’re not fighting for the marriage that you had minus the pornography, you’re fighting for something new, something beyond your greatest expectations, because pornography is not the problem. Pornography is the solution to an intimacy disorder.

Jim: Hmm.

Rosie: So that’s what you’re fighting for. You’re not fighting to just get rid of this pornography, you’re fighting for this new level of vulnerability, honesty, authenticity, that you’ve never had before. And that’s exciting. That is really exciting.

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: So…

Jim: Yeah. Rosie, I wanna make sure right at the end, we’re giving that hope, which you talked about from the moment you walked in the door here at Focus on the Family, is that I wanna be about hope. And you and Mark, just so we are clear for the listeners and the viewers, you are married and having a you know, a good journey now.

Rosie: Totally.

Jim: And that’s really important, uh, to remember. And one of the things that I’ve seen with our Hope Restored marriage intensives and other things, is if you can get through this as a couple, the level of intimacy that you share is really unique.

Rosie: Yeah.

Jim: It’s special because there’s nowhere to hide.

Rosie: No.

Jim: You-

John: Hmm.

Jim: The, the stuff is out on the table. And you know me as fully as I can be known my warts and everything. And I’m sure that’s the experience you and Mark have had now. And it’s in some ways very freeing.

Rosie: It is. It is the, the worst best gift I never thought I wanted.

Jim: The worst best gift.

Rosie: (Laughs).

Jim: I like that.

Rosie: If that makes sense.

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: Um, it’s not just… You don’t have to take my word for it. Okay, we now have a community of many, many other women who have fought for their marriages, fought really hard, and those whose marriages didn’t survive, because I want to put this out there that, that sometimes guys do remain unrepentant. But those women have fought for their families, and they fought for their mental health, and they fought for their futures. And they now wake up in the morning-

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: … with hope. And they wake up able to smile and laugh again. Because if you’re in a relationship with a porn addict, you’re not doing a lot of laughing and smiling and you feel horribly alone.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Rosie: And I want to tell you, you’re not alone. There’s a whole army of women out there-

Jim: Yeah.

Rosie: … who wants to give back and wants to love on you. And, uh, you can do this upon free marriage is possible and it’s better because both of you are now naked and unashamed.

Jim: Huh.

Rosie: Both of you.

John: Hmm.

Jim: Yeah, that’s wonderfully said Rosie. And what a tremendous kickoff to this discussion, we’ll come back next time and continue cause there’s so much more to cover. And, uh, I want, I want to make sure that people understand our heart here, it’s easy to find, uh, criticism, you know, I can’t believe you’re talking about this subject. But you know, the Christian community by and large, we have given this over to the world to define, hey, our God, our creator defined what it is to have healthy intimacy, physical intimacy, within the context of marriage. That’s our definition, and we’re not ashamed of it. And we need to become healthier in the body of Christ. Fight for Love your wonderful resource, as difficult as it is, it’s a great book, and we want to make it available to you, if you make a gift of any amount to Focus, we’ll send it to you as our way of saying thank you, if you cannot afford it. And I mean it. If you can’t afford it, get a hold of us, we’re gonna trust others will do their part in ministry with us to get this out to you. And I think it’s one of the most im- important discussions we can have and one of the most important resources we could provide, especially given the statistics Rosie mentioned earlier, and this is men in the church. And we have got to do a better job if we want healthy households, if we want healthy families. It starts with leadership with men doing the right thing. So, get a hold of us. It’s not about beating you over the brow, it’s about getting healthier.

John: Hmm. Contact us today to schedule a time to talk to a counselor or to get a copy of this book, Fight for Love and to donate as you can. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459, or you’ll find the help you need at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Rosie again, thank you and let’s come back next time.

Rosie: Sounds great.

John: Mm-hmm. And on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team here at Focus on the Family, thanks for joining us today. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back next time as we continue the conversation and once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

Today's Guests

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Discovering Freedom In Your Faith

In this inspiring conversation, Gary Thomas describes the joy-filled pursuit of growing in the virtues and becoming more like Christ. Tune in to hear how foundational virtues like humility, surrender, and detachment can shape your family and relationships.

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Taking a Health Journey With Your Spouse

Dave and Ashley Willis offer tips for you and your spouse to get healthy—mind, body, and spirit. With personal stories about Ashley’s journey through anxiety and depression and Dave’s health issues, you’ll see how your overall well-being affects your relationship.

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Being a Champion to Your Grandkids

Being a Champion to Your Grandkids

Pastor Carey Casey explains how grandfathers can utilize their unique role to have a positive and lasting influence on their grandchildren in a discussion based on his book Championship Grandfathering: How to Build a Winning Legacy.

Sara Hagerty, author of Every Bitter Thing is Sweet

Being Seen by God

Offering encouragement found in her book Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to be Noticed, Sara Hagerty describes how we can experience God in ordinary, everyday moments, and how we can find our identity in Him apart from what we do.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

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