Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements

Focus on the Family Broadcast

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email

Teaching Boys to Respect Women

Teaching Boys to Respect Women

In a discussion based on his book Raising Boys Who Respect Girls, Dave Willis offers parents advice for cultivating within their young sons a healthy respect for others, particularly girls and women.
Original Air Date: October 28, 2020

Excerpt:

Mr. Dave Willis: Listen, the most important lesson you can give your sons on how to respect women is in how you treat your wife. “…Love your wife well because by your example, you’re teaching your sons how to treat women and you’re teaching your daughters what they should expect from men. And by your example, you’re either giving your kids a big head start with blessing or you’re giving them some baggage that they’re gonna have to overcome.”

End of Excerpt

John Fuller: That’s Dave Willis. And he’s our guest today on Focus on the Family. And your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. Thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: You know, John, our culture today seems to have trouble with respect. And we see it in so many different ways – the flurry of our busy lives and with, uh, constant influx of news and social media. I think we’ve kind of let, uh, common courtesy just go to the wayside. And nowhere is that more evident than in the #MeToo movement which escalated in 2017 when more and more stories of inappropriate behavior and disrespect toward women came to light in the media. And it just kept coming. And there’s a great Scripture in the New Testament, Romans 12:10. It says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” And that’s certainly a goal for all of us here at Focus on the Family. Nobody’s perfect. We get that. But, uh, our culture today needs to do a better job of informing boys particularly how to treat women and how to be respectful. And that’s the topic we’re going to cover today with a great guest.

John: Dave Willis, as I said, is with us. Uh, he’s got four boys. He’s a former pastor, speaker, author, a relationship coach – relationship coach, a television host for MarriageToday, along with his wife, Ashley. And he’s been here before. Uh, today, he’s with us to talk about his book, Raising Boys Who Respect GirlsUpending Locker Room Mentality, Blind Spots, And Unintended Sexism. And you can get your copy at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Hey, Dave. Welcome back to Focus.

Dave: Hey, guys. It’s great to be here. Thanks for having me back.

Jim: Really appreciate it. Uh, you know, this whole idea of teaching boys about respecting women, uh, really hit home for you with your son, Cooper. And we mentioned you have four boys. So, that’s great. I think you have a Ph.D. in raising sons, right? So…

(LAUGHTER)

Dave: Well, we’re working on it. My wife has the Ph.D.

Jim: (Laughter) Yeah, good.

Dave: I’m a work in progress. (Laughter)

Jim: Good for you. So, what happened with Cooper that grabbed your attention?

Dave: Yeah. There have been so many moments, kind of pivotal moments with the boys that were wakeup calls for us. But one – and I kind of open up the book with it – was his first day of eighth grade, coming home from eighth grade. And he comes home, gets off the bus. And we’re like, “Hey, buddy. How was your day?” He didn’t really want to talk. You know, most eighth-grade boys – they just want to go play video games and…

Jim: They grunt well.

Dave: They grunt really well.

(LAUGHTER)

Dave: But we’ve learned to interpret his grunts.

Jim: Yeah.

Dave: You know, two grunts means “I’m hungry.”

Jim: (Laughter) Right, exactly.

Dave: Three grunts means, you know, “Leave me alone.” So, we were like, “So, how was your day?” And we kept kind of asking questions and say, “Before you go play video games, just tell us about it.” And he said, “It was fine. It was fine.” And then he kind of paused, and he asked a question that just kind of floored us. But we as parents have learned, you know, we can’t look shocked around the kids, you know?

Jim: Yeah.

Dave: Whatever they ask – you know, they could say aliens are invading, and you can’t look shocked. You just have to kind of roll with it. And then they’ll keep talking. And he said, “Is it normal for guys to take pictures with their cellphones and send it to girls?” And I’m like, “Well, no, it’s not. But why don’t you unpack that a little bit? Like, why do you ask?” He said, “Well, on the bus, there were these guys, and they were laughing, and they were taking pictures and trying to show other people. And then, they were laughing and saying girls love it when you text them stuff like this. And one guy tried to put the phone in my face. And I pushed him away and said get off of me. And it just seemed so weird. But, like, is that really normal? Because they were acting like that’s normal.”

Jim: Wow.

Dave: And it was such a wakeup-call moment. This – you picture this bus. You think that this was like a prison bus or something. But this was a bus, you know, servicing…

Jim: A school bus.

Dave: …A school bus with kids, you know, and, quote, you know, “good neighborhoods.” It’s a great school district, you know, very, very little crime in our area. This is just a snapshot of Americana. You know, this is a regular bus full of regular kids. And apparently, these were regular conversations that were happening. And I was so thankful that he trusted us to tell us what was going on because it started a conversation of us being able to say, “Buddy, listen. The world might do a lot of things that they call normal that are completely and absolutely wrong.” And it gave us an opportunity to talk about God’s plan for respect, about the fact that what was going on on that school bus is actually illegal. That is an illegal act. So, not only is it wrong, it’s something that you could be prosecuted for. But even more than that, we got to talk to the heart behind what respect really looks like, what relationships should be and how this world’s message is getting it wrong in so many ways. And so, the book is full of conversations like that that I never thought I’d be having. But yet, as parents, I think we’ve got to be willing to go there with our kids.

Jim: Let me ask you. Why are boys more naturally inclined to respect men? I think that’s true. I think it’s a bravado thing. It’s a testosterone thing. You know, who’s the alpha male in the pack – that kind of thing. And then, the follow-up is, why do they need to be taught to respect women? I mean, there is a difference there. Why?

Dave: Yeah. I think some of it goes to the core of just how we’re wired. And God wired us up exactly how we’re meant to be. Men and women are equal. But He gave us beautiful distinctions and beautiful differences. But what happens is in every beautiful imperfect thing God has created, you know, the world comes along, or the enemy comes along. And he tries to sabotage that by whispering lies instead of the truth. And some of the lies, I think, that our sons have believed is that, you know, we respect men. And we don’t respect women. And part of it is rooted in this false view of what masculinity is where boys will tend to look at other boys and men will look at other men as a form of competition.

Jim: Right.

Dave: And boys will look at other women sometimes as a conquest. It’s like, I’m a man because I can beat other men. And I’m a man because I can seduce other women. But in both of those, we’re using other people instead of loving other people. We’re giving away our own humanity in the process. And so God’s plan for respect is something that’s really rooted in love and being humble and putting the needs of someone else ahead of your own. And that’s one of the core messages that Jesus gave us and one of the core messages of Scripture. But when we’re using people instead of loving and respecting them, all of our relationships are going to be broken as a result. And that’s kind of a snapshot of the world we’re living in. There’s just brokenness all around because we’ve lost sight of what love and respect really means.

Jim: You know, so often we hear about how Jesus brought respect to that Roman Empire…

John: Mmm.

Jim: …For women, how He brought respect for women. Let’s look at the Gospels. You mentioned in the book – how did the Gospels demonstrate that respect for women?

Dave: Yeah, one of my favorite chapters in the book, probably my favorite chapter in the book is called, “Jesus: Respecter Of Women.” And it’s all about that issue that all of us fall short of being that perfect role model for our sons of always showing them how to act because we’re gonna blow it sometimes. But Jesus is that perfect role model. And I argue that He did more to advance the cause of women than anyone who’s ever lived. And I was having an interview on a podcast recently. And the woman who was interviewing me is not a Christian. And she made that clear. She says, “I’m not a believer.” She said, “But I wanted to talk to you because I’ve never learned that Jesus was such a respecter of women.”

John: Hmm.

Dave: “And when I read that chapter, it changed the way that I saw Jesus. And it frankly changed the way I saw Christianity.” And so, that issue opened the door for a non-believer to say, “Tell me more about Jesus and what He was about.” And so, it led to a great conversation in me saying, “Jesus lived in a time when women weren’t respected at all.” I mean, they had no rights. Their testimonies weren’t valid in court. They couldn’t own property. They were seen as little more than property themselves. And Jesus enters that scene. And all through the Gospels, He’s elevating women. He’s interacting with women. He’s telling parables and stories where He intentionally uses female heroes. He’s doing things that, to us, seem so natural but to His disciples and to His contemporaries was almost scandalous.

Jim: Yeah.

Dave: And He’s giving us a model of what it looks like for a man to respect women, not to look at them with lust, not to look at them with distrust or misogyny or any of that but to engage with him as a sister in Christ who is your equal in every way and to celebrate the beautiful distinction she has in her femininity but to respect her in every single way. And Jesus gives us a roadmap for that.

Jim: Yeah. I was thinking of theologians that at the beginning of the #MeToo movement – it may have been Pastor Tim Keller, who said Jesus was the founder of the #MeToo movement.

Dave: Hmm, wow.

Jim: That’s an interesting perspective, huh?

Dave: And I think that’s exactly right. And if Tim Keller said it, it was right. I think he’s…

(LAUGHTER)

Dave: …Usually right. Uh…

Jim: Let me move to something you – a phrase that you use in the book often is this locker-room mentality. Now, I played football, baseball, and basketball in high school, so I understand it. It’s kind of that jocular humor that is certainly, uh, you know, come to light and has – I think, rightfully, there’s been a correction or an attempt to correct that. But it’s where the guys are just acting goofy…

Dave: Right.

Jim: …And saying goofy things that they would never say outside of the walls of that locker room. But get to what you’re trying to describe there.

Dave: Yeah. And when I talk about the locker-room mentality as a bad thing, I’m in no way trying to emasculate men or saying that for men to respect women, we have to give up our manhood. Really, at the core, the book is pointing back to God’s truth of what it means to be a real man, to be more of a man because if men embrace real and true masculinity the way God intended, everybody wins. Women are safer. You know, men are better. But the toxic form of it in what I call the locker-room mentality is just any part of your life. It doesn’t have to be an actual locker room. I’ve spent some time in locker rooms. But I was short and had bad eyesight and was unathletic.

Jim: (Laughter).

Dave: And so, I didn’t spend a ton of time in locker rooms. But the locker-room mentality isn’t just being in an actual locker room. It’s any place in a man’s life, whether it’s a chat room, a locker room, a board room, a group of friends, a place that he goes online or even just a place he escapes in his own mind where he thinks in this little compartment, it’s okay for me to say or do or think anything that I want related to women. And as long as I keep it in that little compartment, it’s safe. And I’m still a respecter of women. But our sin and our negative mindsets, it never stays in the compartments we build for it. And it always leaks out just like a kind of like a cancerous tumor that metastasizes. It always leaks out. And it poisons the rest of the body. The locker-room mentality does that. When we believe the lie that we can go anywhere and say things that are disrespectful or laugh at things that are disrespectful or believe things that are disrespectful toward women, that inevitably is going to impact every other aspect of our life.

Jim: Yeah. You see the locker-room mentality, and you apply it. I think you have a story in there about a pastor, a youth pastor who maybe got trapped in that thinking. What happened?

Dave: Oh, yeah. This is tragic. I was working at a large church in Florida about a decade ago, a multi-site church. And a youth pastor at a different campus from where I was – but a guy I knew and had worked alongside and been in meetings with and so forth – who, on the surface, seemed like a great guy, you know, like he was doing things right and was a good employee and a good youth pastor and all that. Well, the community was shocked when a news story broke that he had been arrested for having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl in the youth group. And just the tragedy of that, that, here, this young girl, um, had been, you know, used, and abused, uh, in a place that she should’ve been so safe is heartbreaking. And to learn more about this guy’s story, you know, he later confessed that he had harbored fantasies in his mind that he thought were harmless fantasies, you know, just kind of a little escape from suburban life and work and raising kids that every now and then, he would let his mind fixate, you know, on a thought of a girl in the youth group and…

Jim: Mmm.

Dave: …Being with her as an escape. And he convinced himself that that was harmless. But Jesus tells us over and over again that what happens in our mind is never harmless. I mean, to look with lust at a woman is to commit adultery in our hearts. And if we’ll say that lust is okay on any level, it’s going to lead us down some dark places. And so, yeah, that’s a heartbreaking situation. And we still pray, you know, for that young lady and her family as they continue down the healing process. And for anybody who’s listening that’s experienced that kind of abuse, especially within the church and the baggage that that can bring, just know that Jesus loves you, and He is for you. And don’t turn your back on God. And even don’t turn your back on the church because that is where healing really can happen.

John: Hmm. And we do have some great Christian counselors here at, Focus on the Family, that can assist you if you’re on that journey of healing. Or maybe, you’re like the man in the story. And you’ve been harboring these compartmentalized fantasies. And you need to unpack that and bring the light of day to those fantasies. Uh, call us if we can be of help here at, Focus on the Family. Our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY. While you’re – and the word family. And while you have us on the phone, ask about the great book by Dave Willis called Raising Boys Who Respect Girls. That’s the topic that we’re covering today.

Jim: Dave, let me come back to something you just said, um, because it’s so critical. And, you know, if we’re trying to raise our boys in such a way that they will respect girls and respect women when they’re older, um, how do we allow for that normal playful banter that occurs amongst us testosterone-filled guys? And then where do we jump in to control it? I know – there’s many lines we can talk about. But I want to give a practical help to that dad who, like both you, and I, and John, have boys we’re raising. And there is a time to be playful and fun. And then, there’s a time to say, “Whoa, okay. That’s kind of too far. And here’s why.” But, you have an example like that with your own boys?

Dave: Yeah. Oh, gosh. There are many. And we’re learning this as we go. Again – like, this book wasn’t written by a guy that has it all figured out. Like, this – it was written by me, a dad, that’s just on the journey and desperately want to get this right, um, and learning as I go and trying to point my boys to Jesus in the process. I think that kind of one of the places where – where we can look at these conversations in a really practical way is in terms of entertainment in the home. Like, recently…

Jim: That’s a good – that’s a great point.

Dave: Recently – like, these are the conversations we’re having. Like, our oldest son and our second son – they’re 14 and 12 right now. There’s a show that they really want to watch because their friends are into it. But it’s a show that, as we kind of learn more about it, is – it’s just got a lot of disrespectful themes in it. Just – disrespect is just part of the comedy in it. And we love comedy by the way. We laugh a lot in our house. We love good comedy. But this show in particular, I’m like, “I just don’t think there’s anything redeeming in it.” And so, our oldest son got frustrated, like, you know, “I’m almost a man. And you’re not trusting me to do this.” And so, I think that how we have leverage in those moments is in us leading the way. I think if we’re telling our kids to do something that we’re not willing to do ourselves, um, we lose a lot of credibility.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dave: And so, the conversation with him in that moment was, “Listen, buddy. I don’t want to invite disrespectful themes into my home. So, like, I, as an adult, as an old dude, there’s lots of stuff that I’ve stopped watching. There are a lot of things that, otherwise, I thought this could be a really good show or movie. And if things emerge in it, like, just unnecessary nudity or themes where there’s just a clear pattern of disrespect that they’re celebrating, like I don’t want to put that in my mind in my brain. So, your mom and I, all the time, we’re turning off stuff. And for anybody that’s in this home, we’re responsible for kind of what’s kind of coming through those airwaves.” And so, he thought more about it and later sent us a text. And he – and I was really proud of him for this. He said, “You know, listen, um, the more I thought about that show and what it’s really about,” he said, “I really don’t want to be putting that in my mind either. And so, you know, thank you – thank you for that.” Now, there are other times where the conversation didn’t end so well. But I think that we’ve got to be willing to just establish those boundaries.

Jim: That’s really good. And I want to get to the meat of what we want to talk about. And that’s the seven lessons that turn a boy into a man. So, let’s go through those. What’s the first one?

Dave: Yeah. And, again, these come from Scripture, you know? I pulled these from God’s standard of manhood because I don’t want to get caught up in all the counterfeit versions of manhood out there. And there are a lot of them, by the way. You know, my – my little 4-year-old – at Halloween, I was wearing this big fake beard.

Jim: (Laughter).

Dave: And he looked at me, and he says, “Daddy, you’re dressed like a man.”

(LAUGHTER)

Dave: And I thought, “Well, what am I dressed like the other 364 days of the year,” you know?

Jim: That’s a great story.

John: Is his standard, like, the Robertsons from the Duck Dynasty…

Dave: It was. It was a legit beard.

John: OK (laughter).

Dave: My kids make fun of me, you know, because, you know, I talk about manhood, and I still, at age 41, cannot grow a real beard.

(LAUGHTER)

Dave: It’s all patchy, and it’s embarrassing. So, they tease me mercilessly. But thankfully, real manhood isn’t about facial hair, thankfully, or I’d be out. Um, but the Bible does give us some really good standards. No. 1 is to have the courage to fight for what’s right, that we, as men – we’ve got to be willing to enter into that fight. It’s not always a fight with our fists, but it’s a fight with our hearts. It’s a fight of selflessness, of being willing to do what’s right. I love that verse where Nehemiah challenged people. Guys, fight for your families today. Fight for what’s right. Um, No. 2 is seek responsibility instead of running from it. I think that our world celebrates, uh, a lot of boys and men in culture that tend to just run away from the responsibility of marriage and family and thinking of anyone outside themselves. And we’ve got to be willing to say, “No. A true man of God is one that’s going to seek responsibility to care for others and not – not just think of himself.” And kind of one of those – the big themes that linked to that is we, as husbands, have such a responsibility in modeling that by how we love our wives. And so, we can teach all the right lessons with our words, men, but listen. The most important lesson you can give your sons on how to respect women is in how you treat your wife. And my wife Ashley and I do marriage ministry. We talk about this all the time on our “Making Marriage” podcast. And every chance we get, we say, “Men, love your wife well because by your example, you’re teaching your sons how to treat women and you’re teaching your daughters what they should expect from men. And by your example, you’re either giving your kids a big head start with blessing or you’re giving them some baggage that they’re gonna have to overcome in the years to come.”

Jim: And three?

Dave: Work hard. I think you’ve got to work hard at whatever you do. Uh, and I elaborate a lot more in the book on these, but just to kind of get through them more quickly, work hard – No. 3. Show patience and restraint is No. 4. I think that sometimes, we celebrate guys who will fly off the handle and just lose their temper, but the Proverbs say it’s better to control your temper than to take a city. You know, the true warriors of faith are the guys that – that have the ability to show restraint in the right moments instead of just letting their emotions rule them. And then the next one is – is respect your wife. Again, I just kind of touched on that a lot. We’ve gotta lead the way by that example in how we respect. No. 6 is keep your word and honor your commitments. The Bible says, “Keep your word even when it hurts,” you know? Keep your commitments. And the final one is to trust God. We can’t do this in our own strength, and thankfully, we don’t have to. We can do all things through Christ, who gives us strength. We, as men, sometimes try to do things in our own strength, and we’re always going to fall short. But if we can let our kids see that we’re trusting in God’s strength to guide the way, then we’re always going to be headed in the right direction.

Jim: And those are great principles. I mean, those are things, I think, every father who follows Christ wants to teach their sons, right? And, uh, you’ve done a great job kind of organizing that in your book, Raising Boys Who Respect Girls. Let me ask you, what would you say to the parent who feels like they’ve blown it? Maybe – let’s go with the dad, the dad that feels like he’s blown it. Um, they’re discouraged and unsure of that next step. So, how can they recalibrate even if their boys are out of the home? Say they’re in their 20s.

Dave: Yeah, yeah. As long as you’ve got breath in your lungs, you know, it’s not too late to do something that’s right. And I – I look at God’s plan for our life a lot of times like the GPS in our car. You know, when – when you miss a turn, it doesn’t say, “Well, you missed it. You’ll never get there.”

Jim: Hmm.

Dave: It just says, “Recalculating, recalculating.” We’re gonna start from where you are right now, and we’re gonna make a route from right here to get back to where you need to go. And no matter how much you feel like you’ve blown it, God’s grace is always there to say, “You know what? We’re gonna – we’re gonna make a route from right here.” If you’re willing to repent, which is just a big word that means I want to turn from my own way of doing things, my own prideful, stubborn way of doing things, and I’m really going to follow God’s plan this time – and I think that starts with being humble enough to apologize, um, to – to admit that you’ve blown it and fallen short in some areas, um, and humbly seeking an opportunity to really re-establish a relationship and influence with your son at whatever stage of life he is. Even if there’s been years of absence there, it’s really never too late. I’ve seen over and over and over again, uh, God’s story of redemption unfolding in people who were willing to forgive and seek forgiveness and willing to start where they are, swallow their pride and say, “God, with whatever time I have left, um, use me.” You know, I think about Samson in the Old Testament who, with his very last act on earth, you know, did his most powerful deed after years of doing it wrong. And you can be Samson. You can turn things around, and you can end strong. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. And you can start today.

Jim: The good thing that you do in the book is you break down conversations you can have at an age-appropriate way. Um, you want to give us a couple of those questions at a young age and then maybe that teenage…

Dave: Yeah.

Jim: …Year?

Dave: Yeah. You – all through the book, I try to get as practical as I can of, like, how to talk to your boys and what’s happening in their minds. So, to kind of show moms what’s going on in an 8-year-old boy’s mind, in a 15-year-old boy’s mind, a 20-year-old boy’s mind – because I’ve been all of those things, so I can point to research. But I can also remember, this is what I was feeling. And then also to – to kind of challenge us dads to be more intentional – um, starting young, I think, you’ve got to look for opportunities. I was at the barbershop with our 7-year-old at the time. He’s 12 now, but when Connor was 7, he was, uh, reading a – a magazine. And I hadn’t really perused the magazines to see – I just assumed they were all safe. But I look over, and he’s reading a really provocative magazine. And his eyes are huge, and he’s holding open these pages. And I run over there, and he’s looking at this bikini-clad young lady. And he goes, “Dad.” He said, “I just really like looking at these ladies.” And – and so I – I…

Jim: (Laughter) How old was he?

Dave: He was 7.

Jim: (Laughter).

Dave: And so, I close the magazine, and I said – but – and I didn’t – I didn’t start with shame or…

Jim: Yeah.

Dave: That’s not the way we ever engage. And I said, “Buddy, listen. You like looking at those ladies because God made women beautiful. And He put within you, your young man’s heart, you know, a – a desire to celebrate the beauty of a woman because one day, He’s going to bring you a wife. And one day, uh, in that relationship, you’re going to be able to spend your whole life just celebrating her beauty. But to just look at – at some woman who’s not wearing much clothes just because we like looking at it, it actually hurts God’s heart because that’s one of His daughters that He made. And she’s so much more than just a picture or a body to look at.” And he was like, “Oh.” He said, “Okay. I – I understand.” I said, “So, let’s not look at magazines like this. It’s okay that you want to. That’s natural. But let’s not do it.” And he says, “Okay.” And so, I go back feeling like dad of the year. And then 30 seconds later, I felt like the worst dad ever because I looked over, and he’s reading Field and Stream, but his eyes are just as big as they were. And I walk over, and my 7-year-old has put that original magazine, hidden it inside of a Field and Stream and is looking at the same pictures. And so, I – I didn’t win that day, but it – it’s – it starts conversations. It starts conversations.

Jim: But it’s a good point. You’ve got to do building blocks…

Dave: Yeah.

Jim: …With your kids at age-appropriate stages and let them begin to understand what is attracting them and what is pulling them in that direction. I think that’s great. Uh, in fact, elementary school kind of broadens the scope. You’re mentioning that. I think one of your sons, when he was 6, played basketball with a girl on the team. This is so common today that I definitely want to hit this. Um, how did you use that moment to teach your son that this is okay, this is a good thing?

Dave: Yeah. Yeah. So, I was coaching, uh, little kids. For those of you that coach little kids a lot, you’re going to be in the gated community in heaven.

John: (Laughter).

Dave: Like, it’s – it’s really God’s work. It’s not easy, um, but I – I got talked into doing it. And there was only one girl on the team, and she was precious. And she was awesome and was really a good player, but there was a moment where she didn’t pass the ball to my son in a time where he wanted it. And in his selfishness, he lashed out at her and said, “You’re just a girl, and you shouldn’t even be on this team. This shouldn’t even be a – a sport that girls can play.” And she started crying. I mean, it really hurt her. It was really – and it was uncharacteristic of my son, who, you know, normally – it was out of character. But at the same time, it was like, we – we’ve got to call this kind of behavior out and do it in a loving way. So, I call the team huddle, and I said, “Listen. We are all on this team together.” And I celebrated her. I said, “She’s one of the hardest-working players on this team.” I said, “In fact, she wins what I call the red cheek award almost every – every practice,” which is – if you work so hard that your cheeks are redder than everybody else’s by the end or sweatier than everybody else’s by the end, then you win, like, the hustle award, basically. And I’m like, “She wins that almost every single day. She’s leading the way in this.” And I said, “We need to be so thankful that she’s on this team, and Connor, I – I want you to apologize because that’s really hurtful. And we’ve got to treat team like family, that we love each other. We respect each other. We all wear the same jersey, and we all have a – a part to play on this team. And we never want to make anybody on this team feel like they don’t belong for whatever reason.” And it – and then we – we kind of went around and said affirming things. We all had to say something really nice and respectful to each other to kind of celebrate that value. So, at different ages, I think we need to just be open to hitting the pause button in whatever’s going on and look for teachable moments.

Jim: No, that’s great. Dave, this has been insightful and much needed. And, uh, you’re giving such great tools to help our sons to learn to be respectful and dads to help equip their sons, so it’s terrific. Um, I want to remind you, the listener, that Focus is here for you. John mentioned that earlier. We want you to have a rewarding and God-honoring relationship with your son. That’s the bottom line. It’s not going to be perfect. And I’m thinking of that dad who has been compartmentalized, who has not, uh, opened up to that opportunity when they see something on TV or the magazine or whatever it might be. Use it as a stepping stones, as a teaching moment towards something better as to how your son views women and will respect women. Uh, we have so many resources available for you – web articles, a team of caring, Christian counselors, broadcasts like this one and especially Dave’s book, Raising Boys Who Respect Girls. This is one of those segments where you really got to concentrate as a dad and put some effort into it. And I’d like to offer it to you for a gift of any amount today to support the ministry of Focus. We’ll send you a copy of Dave’s book as our way of saying thank you.

John: Get in touch. Donate and get your copy of Raising Boys Who Respect Girls when you call 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY. Or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Dave, this has been great having you with us. You’ve inspired me – I hope you, too, John…

John: Yeah, he’s – yes.

Jim: …And hopefully thousands of other fathers to really engage with their sons and help them to learn how to respect girls. Thank you.

Dave: Thank you.

John: Yeah, really good stuff. And, again, our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY, if we can be of any help to you or if you’d like to get a copy of that book, Raising Boys Who Respect Girls. And tomorrow we’ll share a timeless presentation, a classic Focus on the Family presentation, from Mike Adkins describing how he befriended a strange, reclusive neighbor named Norman.

Teaser:

Mr. Mike Adkins: What happened to Norman was he was brilliant. He was a genius. He said – in fact, he was such a genius that his mind exploded one day.

Today's Guests

Cover image of the book "Raising Boys Who Respect Girls"

Raising Boys Who Respect Girls

Receive Dave Willis' book Raising Boys Who Respect Girls for your donation of any amount!

Recent Episodes

Promotional image for Focus on the Family broadcast "Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus"

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus (Part 2 of 2)

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others. (Part 2 of 2)

Promotional image for Focus on the Family broadcast "Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus"

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus (Part 1 of 2)

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others. (Part 1 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Remembering the Gospel This Christmas

Allison Pittman inspires listeners to make Christmas more meaningful as she shares insightful parallels between the Bible and Charles Dickens’ classic novel A Christmas Carol.

You May Also Like

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Avoiding Shame-Based Parenting

Psychologist Dr. Kelly Flanagan discusses the origins of shame, the search for self-worth in all the wrong places, and the importance of extending grace to ourselves. He also explains how parents can help their kids find their own sense of self-worth, belonging and purpose.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Becoming a Clutter-Free Family

Joshua Becker discusses the benefits a family can experience if they reduce the amount of “stuff” they have and simplify their lives. He addresses parents in particular, explaining how they can set healthy boundaries on how much stuff their kids have, and establish new habits regarding the possession of toys, clothes, artwork, gifts and more.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.