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Tough Love in Adult Relationships: What It Is, What It’s Not, and How to Use It

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My husband’s problem with porn is destroying him, me, our marriage, and our family. Friends who care about both of us tell me to use tough love with him. But then I read articles that say it’s the wrong approach — that compassion and patience would be better. What should I do?
What tough love is and isn't

NOTE: This article looks at tough love in the context of adult relationships. Similar concepts can be used with children and teens — but there are notable differences. If you have parenting questions about how to help your child learn valuable lessons while being supportive and preserving their dignity, we encourage you to start with our articles Being an Authoritative Parent in the New Year, and Five Characteristics of Biblical Discipline. You can also listen online for free to our broadcasts Practical Advice for Parenting Strong-Willed Children, Surviving the Strong-Willed Child, and Navigating the Challenges Teens Face.


 
ANSWER:

The concept of tough love has been around for a long time — and it’s been misunderstood and misused for just as long. The problems usually revolve around a person’s reason for using tough love and how they carry it out. Here’s the truth: Tough love isn’t a formula or quick fix to the heartache you face. But it’s the right thing to do in some situations — and the only healthy choice — even if change doesn’t look exactly like you had hoped. We’re glad to offer a closer look at what tough love is (and isn’t!) and how to use it.

What tough love is NOT

When someone we love is harming themself and others, we have three choices:

  • Give up, give in, stay quiet, and play the victim or martyr.
  • Beg, nag, pester, and play the codependent manipulator.
  • Draw a line in the sand with tough love.

Spoiler alert: The third option is the only healthy choice. However, to understand what makes tough love work — the good that it is — we must understand what tough love is not.

Tough love is NOT about your preferences.

Preferences are far different from red flags. We all face occasional frustrations and have pet peeves. But not liking how your spouse loads the dishwasher, or disapproving of how your adult daughter cleans her house, or dealing with a slacking colleague, or being miffed because your friend forgot your birthday, or disagreeing over how to spend an end-of-year bonus are not reasons for tough love. (Those are opportunities for healthy conflict resolution — or learning to just let some things go.)

Tough love is NOT a one-size-fits-all solution.

Truly destructive behaviors are complex — in cause and impact and recovery. Issues such as abuse (physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual), addiction, infidelity, complete disregard for financial responsibility, and more, cannot be resolved quickly. Tough love is an appropriate approach in these cases and can be an important puzzle piece toward healing. However, every situation is different because every person involved is different. Hold the outcome loosely; it might not look like you expect.

Tough love is NOT done out of punishment or revenge.

Make no mistake: Anger over injustice and oppression is healthy. The problem comes when we lose sight of the fact that we’re all sinners in need of a Savior. If that happens, we turn from humility to superiority and use tough love out of unhealthy anger. We might then try to punish someone for the damage they’ve done instead of considering their well-being and the welfare of our soul. But tough love should never be undertaken with the mindset of, I’ll make you pay for hurting me.

Tough love is NOT about manipulation or control.

It’s OK to hope for healing, to want goodness for everyone involved. But manipulation is an attempt to take away someone’s free will and replace it with your own desires. Tough love cannot force the change you want, even when survival is on the line. You simply can’t control another person’s heart or behavior. You can only control how you interact in your relationships.

Tough love does NOT deny the importance of boundaries.

A common misconception is that tough love is harsh, cold, and withdrawn. People sometimes get hung up on the “tough” part of the process and fail to realize the “love” that’s still involved. They think that, even in harmful situations, you should simply set boundaries. Unfortunately, that path is wishy-washy at best and even more damaging at worst. Yes, boundaries are very much a part of tough love. However, destructive behavior needs to be addressed firmly — and that can be done without being harsh.

Tough love is NOT easy.

Another wrong impression is that people only resort to tough love because it’s the “easy” way out. But tough love can often be harder on the person enforcing it than the one receiving it. For instance, a person who needs tough love has their own boundaries (even if not healthy), and they’re used to nobody rocking the boat. If the status quo changes, they might react intensely as they try to hold onto the lie of control. The struggle will be felt by everyone.

Tough love isn’t a quick-witted, one-and-done mandate that will make someone straighten up and fly right. On the contrary, it’s a carefully thought-through plan for the long haul that will likely be painful for both sides of the relationship. Love always tells the hard truth. And even though it’s the right thing to do, it’s never easy.

What tough love IS

One of the most important truths about tough love is that it’s primarily about you — not about the person doing wrong. Wait. What?! Isn’t the goal of tough love to help someone else see the harm they’re causing and to change their behavior?

Yes. But the only way to use tough love wisely — the only way tough love stands a chance of resulting in the healthy outcome you hope for — is to get a handle on who you are. To become confident, strong, and aware of your boundaries, needs, and responsibilities.

Tough love IS about addressing truly harmful behavior.

Infidelity. Pornography. Substance abuse and addiction. Emotional, verbal, physical, spiritual, and sexual abuse. Violent anger. Dishonesty. Complete financial irresponsibility. Unwillingness to ever own up to mistakes or sins. … These are some red flags that should never be ignored or negotiated in dating, marriage, parenting, or any other relationship. They must be dealt with, and tough love usually is the best path.

Now, we’re not saying you should put yourself on a pedestal if these aren’t sins you struggle with. (Each of us has done wrong in God’s eyes — and those wrongs grieve God, hurt us, and negatively impact our interactions with others.) What we’re saying is that you should be transparent and matter of fact about legitimate harm happening in your relationship.

Tough love IS about becoming self-confident.

Becoming self-confident means that you don’t have to lean on another human for approval. Even in difficult situations, you can respond confidently from the core of who you are. In other words, you have good ego strength — solid self-awareness that you don’t have to draw your value from other people.

Tough love IS about learning self-acceptance.

Closely tied to self-confidence is self-acceptance. For example, some people are tempted to look to their spouse to be their sun. However, another person can’t truly generate light. They can reflect the truth of who a person is, but they can’t create the truth. That’s why self-acceptance is key: A healthy marriage should be about the wholeness of each spouse — not a sense of dependence where one or both act from a mindset of, I can’t be me without you.

Tough love IS about being grounded.

You must have a realistic view of yourself and the situation. No over-spiritualizing, no head-in-the sand belief that everything will work out. Instead, you are grounded in (you pay attention to) the realness of what’s truly going on. Being grounded has two parts: You don’t gloss over the hurt that’s happening, and you confidently remember that your foundation is in Christ.

Tough love IS about correctly understanding boundaries.

The Bible does teach us to care for and help others. And God does expect us to help those who truly are overburdened (widows, orphans, the poor, and the disabled). But the Bible doesn’t teach us to be enslaved to someone’s felt needs. (Felt needs are self-perceived wants or desires — not genuine lack of basic or true needs.) People are obligated to take care of their own day-to-day life responsibilities.

Tough love IS about knowing your boundaries and your responsibilities.

Personal boundaries mark where you end and where someone else begins. Boundaries define who you are, protect what you value, show what you’re responsible for, and keep you safe. You have the right and the obligation to safeguard your own well-being. Be honest with yourself about what you can and can’t control, what you are and aren’t responsible for, and where you may need to course-correct your relational interactions. (Take a deeper look at these dynamics in our articles Four Styles of Relational Interaction and The Dance of Relationships.)

Tough love IS about compassion — just not in the way some people think.

Critics of tough love often think that compassion means always turning the other cheek. Even people who are stuck in a harmful relationship can believe they show mercy by giving someone another chance (and another and another and another). They mistakenly believe that being tough will further wreck an already-broken person. But that doesn’t allow for what love truly means.

Sincere love doesn’t overlook someone’s behavior. Rather, sincere love has compassion for someone’s brokenness (because all of us know brokenness) and yet understands that enabling is not helping. Sincere love calls someone to higher behavior, to live their one life wisely in gratitude and service to their Creator. Love and approval are not always the same thing.

Consider Jesus’ conversation with the woman at the well. He didn’t berate her, but neither did He leave her to a life of brokenness. He guided the discussion in such a way that she eventually came to see her sexual compromise for what it was: sin to be recognized, confessed, and turned from. He accepted her, but He also held her accountable.

Think of tough as truth. Tough love done well is true love.

Tough love IS about recognizing free will (choice).

In the biblical account of Adam and Eve, God laid out one rule in the garden of Eden, one clear boundary: Don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. On the day that Adam and Eve chose to eat from that tree anyway, God watched them. Did He stop them? No. Didn’t He care what was about to happen to them? Of course!

But man is created in God’s image, which means Adam and Eve had free will (as do we). God had to let them choose, even if they chose poorly and faced consequences. In the same way, even though watching someone we love destroy their life is agonizing — even if their actions hurt us — we must acknowledge their right to choose.

Tough love IS about becoming strong.

What are you willing to lose if the relationship boundaries you set aren’t respected? Are you willing to lose the relationship for the sake of your safety and wellbeing? Can you trust the Lord to bring healing according to His good and perfect plan?

The one true God who created you and your loved one isn’t surprised by their choices.  Like you, He grieves over their behavior, and He longs to see them freed from their struggle. At the same time, He has always known you and loved you, too — and He doesn’t want you to live in fear, harm, or someone else’s shadow.

That’s why it’s important to pursue spiritual, emotional, and physical strength. These areas can be weakened in dysfunctional relationships. And in the case of domestic violence, the perpetrator often purposely works to erode their partner’s identity and strength.

What are you doing to take care of yourself so that you won’t give in to emotionally charged decision-making? Are you working with a pastor, trusted friend, or licensed counselor to help you become strong? Someone who has been hurt, isolated, or marginalized by another person’s harmful actions need wise, caring people who will speak health and balance into their life.

You don’t need to be perfectly strong to exercise tough love; you need to be strong enough. You need internal strength to weather the storm that could come when you decide to hold your loved one accountable.

Tough love IS about having courage to take action — even if you’re scared.

Tough love is about safeguarding your own well-being while also considering the other person. Once you understand your own boundaries and responsibilities, you can courageously say, No, your behavior is not OK. It’s not OK to treat me (or others) this way. You can feel scared at the same time as being brave enough to take healthy action.

This is when a solid support system becomes even more critical. You need people who will reinforce your decision to act. And you need their unbiased insight to confirm whether your loved one is making concrete, lasting changes for the better.

Basic steps of tough love

  1. Make sure you have a good support system that includes trusted friends, your pastor, and a licensed counselor.
  2. Become strong enough so that you’re ready to stand up to harmful behavior. (You’ll need that strength to follow through with your commitment to tough love, even if the outcome doesn’t match what you hoped for.)
  3. Be honest with yourself about whether you’ve been enabling or codependent and how you might need to change so you can use tough love effectively. (Work with a licensed counselor or your pastor.)
  4. Decide ahead of time what you need the other person to do. Write it down. (If you do have to carry out a consequence, a predetermined plan will reduce your stress since you won’t have to think on the fly.)
  5. Clearly tell the other person how their actions are being destructive. Use “I” statements to explain your boundaries clearly, honestly, and respectfully. Then explain what steps they need to take to change their behavior — and the consequences if that desired behavior doesn’t happen.
  6. Step back and quietly watch for the person’s response in the form of action. Don’t chase, smother, beg, grovel, manipulate, or demand compliance. Instead, let the other person choose whether they’ll take responsibility for what is theirs to control.
  7. Accept the person’s free choice and their answer (in the form of their actions) — whether or not it’s what you wanted their answer (actions) to be.
  8. Hold the person accountable to the consequences you laid out in the beginning.

A closer look at tough love

Sarena’s* husband, Nick*, was having an affair — and she knew that tough love was necessary. She laid out what needed to happen: He had to end the affair, stop all communication with the woman going forward, and go to counseling. And if he didn’t? There’s the door. Yeah, Nick kept saying, I’ve ended the affair. But come to find out, he hadn’t. So Sarena changed the locks on the house.

As painful as the decision was, Sarena followed through on the consequences she’d laid out for Nick. It wasn’t easy; she had truly believed him when he first told her he’d ended things. However, Sarena’s counselor reminded her that words don’t matter; actions do. And when she “listened” to Nick’s actions, she realized that they didn’t match what he had been verbally telling her. So she followed through on the consequence — on her commitment to tough love.

Action for action is key in tough love.

To be clear, tough love isn’t about responding in kind. In other words, you don’t act toward someone in the way they act toward you. (Remember, tough love isn’t about punishment or revenge; it’s about boundaries.) Instead, you follow through on a predetermined action (consequence) in response to the other person’s action (choice).

Tough love is like a game of checkers: What’s your move? When it came to Nick and Sarena, Nick made his move (not to change his behavior). Even though he didn’t choose what Sarena wanted, she wisely didn’t plead for change. Instead, she calmly made her move (to lock him out of the house as she’d told him she would).

You must see your loved one taking necessary steps to healing — not just rely on their promises that they won’t ever do xyz again. Good intentions don’t matter if never followed through.

This is especially important when it comes to physical and emotional abuse in relationships. A proactive approach doesn’t mean the consequence always has to be immediately throwing someone out of the house. It could be, If I don’t see change, I’m going to talk to the pastor — or call the police.

Regardless, if you’re in an abusive relationship, you need to take extra measures to keep yourself and your children safe. Call 911 if you’re in immediate danger. For other suggestions, read Play It Safe: Dealing With Domestic Violence. You can also call our licensed or pastoral counselors at 1-800-232-6459 for a free over-the-phone consultation — or you can get help 24/7/365 through The National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

Accountability is also critical.

Flight to health is a term used in the counseling profession to describe a person’s sudden “recovery” when they want to avoid having to actually do the hard work of long-term healing. For example, an alcoholic might say, I’ve been sober for two weeks so I should be able to come back home. In reality, they’re fooling themself (and others) into thinking there’s a quick fix to a deep problem.

It’s easy for someone to say everything is all better. But you need to see evidence of real change in the ongoing journey to wholeness. Tough love can’t be wishy-washy. Here again, the offending person might say, Give me some credit! I’m doing “xyz” a whole lot less! Be that as it may, their behavior is still unacceptable. You’ve already drawn a line in the sand. You’ve told your loved one, This is not acceptable. This will stop, or here is the consequence.

Go back to your personal boundaries. If the other person in the relationship chooses to continue doing their own thing regardless of the boundaries you’ve set, then you have a choice: Either hold them accountable for their actions, or ignore their behavior and maintain the status quo. Keep in mind, though, that the latter option won’t help anyone and is likely a sign of codependency (a mixed-up motivation to help).

Tough love in marriage might involve creating a crisis.

We’re not suggesting you add fuel to the fire. Rather, you may need to motivate your spouse to acknowledge their problem and agree to treatment. Say something like, Either you admit you have a problem and get the help you need, or you find another place to live until you’re ready to cooperate.

More than just locking someone out of the house, you’ll pursue a therapeutic separation. A therapeutic separation is a formal separation with clear, specific guidelines and boundaries around extra-marital relationships, professional counseling, sexual intimacy, communication rules, living arrangements, children, and finances. Divorce is not the goal; you just want to break through denial.

If separation becomes necessary, follow the advice of wise legal and Christian counsel. It’s best if your spouse moves out. However, if they won’t go along with that, you might have to relocate with your children. In that case, make sure you have a support system and a place to stay. (Have a plan, line up your resources, and make your arrangements ahead of time instead of reactively packing and leaving in a hurry.)

Let your spouse know how you can be contacted, and make it clear you’ll restart negotiations as soon as they’re willing to cooperate.

A therapeutic separation might be what it takes for them to admit the seriousness of the situation. Here again, watch their actions. A lot of times a spouse will promise the moon just to be back under the same roof, but words aren’t the same thing as change.


NOTE: A therapeutic separation in the case of crisis is different in some ways from a healing separation. Healing separation assumes that both spouses are invested in restoring their marriage — and that’s not always the case when one spouse is engaged in harmful behavior. Still, for related insights, we encourage you to read our article Why and How to Pursue a Healing Separation.


Tough love in action

This space isn’t large enough to take a deep dive into every circumstance that requires tough love. And getting a sense of direction often means working with a licensed counseling specialist to identify underlying issues and relationship patterns that led to the crisis.

Still, we want to touch on two relationships that most commonly benefit from tough love: marriage, and parenting adult sons and daughters.

Tough love in marriage

Tough love is, indeed, the right approach when your spouse is involved in porn and refuses to change. Their addiction is disrespectful to you, dishonors your marriage vows, and causes pain for the entire family.

  1. Decide your boundaries. Talk with your support system about how you’ll take care of yourself through the process.
  2. Create a plan for how you will approach this issue. (Remember: Having a predetermined plan can help you not to react emotionally.)
  3. Set a time to tell your husband where you stand on this issue and what changes you expect him to make — what changes you expect to see — and the consequences if he chooses not to follow through. For example:
    • Your pornography use twists God’s plan for sex. It’s keeping us from being genuinely intimate in marriage, it’s demeaning to me, and it’s setting a horrible example for our kids.
    • I need you to stop using porn.
    • I’ll watch you delete everything inappropriate from every device.
    • I will have access to all your device passcodes going forward.
    • You will go to counseling.
    • If you choose not to take these steps, you’ll need to find another place to live until you decide how you want to move forward.
    • You have one day to take care of your devices. And you have one week to start counseling. All or nothing. Your actions will be your answer.
  4. Wait, watch, and hold your spouse accountable for the agreed-on actions. Stick with what you’ve determined in your heart, ask God to give you wisdom and strength, and stay connected to your support system.

Tough love in parenting an adult son or daughter

As your child grows, the template should shift from parent-child to adult-adult. They’re not your adult child; they are your adult son or adult daughter. They have become your peer. At the same time, breaking the once-a-parent-always-a-parent mindset is difficult. That’s one reason why seeing your son or daughter struggle — and choosing to not necessarily rescue them — is so painful.

Maybe they’re in and out of trouble with drugs and alcohol. Maybe they’re always asking for money and help with legal issues. Maybe they refuse your wisdom but always demand that you fix things for them. Maybe they’ve chosen a lifestyle that dishonors God and will lead to their destruction. Maybe they even use your grandchild as a shield or pawn, paralyzing you from taking appropriate action out of fear of harming your grandchild.

It all hurts. And it hurts because you love your son or daughter. But your love for them — your good heart that wants the best for them — is being used against you. Choosing tough love will help you protect your heart so you don’t get conned. Choosing tough love doesn’t mean you don’t care; it means your love can’t be used against you.

Using the same basic steps we mentioned above, let’s look at how to use tough love with an adult son living at home who refuses to get a job.

    • We love you, and you will always be our son. But now that you’re an adult, you need to get a job and become all that God created you to be.
    • God has created you for good work and to be responsible. A man can stand on his own two feet. He knows how to work with others, but he doesn’t depend on them for his welfare.
    • We will no longer pay any of your bills.
    • You will start paying us rent.
    • If you choose not to get a job, you’ll have to find another place to live, and you’ll be responsible for any late payments or bill collectors.

Or what about substance abuse?

    • Your choice to drink and do drugs is hurting you and our entire family. Our hope and prayer is that you turn to God with your pain instead of false fixes. And we must step out of the way so that you will rely on Him instead of us.
    • We will watch you throw away all your bottles and pills.
    • You will find an accountability partner, and we can ask them at any time to check on you and search your living space.
    • You have one week to check into a recovery program, or we will find one for you.
    • If you choose not to follow these steps, you will be responsible for any legal, medical, or financial fallout. You will not be allowed to move back in with us.

No parent ever wants to put their son or daughter out on the street, but it could be the most loving thing to do. Will you trust God to use your son’s or daughter’s rock-bottom place to draw them close and save them?

What if tough love doesn’t work?

Tough love is not a formula. Even under the best conditions, even with the most faithful prayers of family and friends, even with the wisest counsel from trained therapists, the person causing harm is the only one who can choose to change.

Yes, we will always love them and pray for their wholeness. And yes, we hope they will realize the dangerous path they’re on and commit to a better way. But what if they don’t? Does that mean tough love has failed — that we have failed? Not at all.

Tough love always works in the sense that it will give us a clear behavioral response from the other person, and that means we’re no longer in a stalemate. To put it another way, we become confident in who we are, and we now know without question where they stand. Unfortunately, getting to that point doesn’t guarantee a happily-ever-after ending.

One of the most painful places to find ourselves is when a loved one chooses a destructive path even after all our efforts. That hurts. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and it’s why we often want to give a second (third, fourth … tenth) chance — even though we know, deep down, another chance won’t help.

That’s why having self-confidence and being grounded in your identity is so crucial. If you believe your self-worth is based on someone else’s acceptance, you’ll do things that don’t work. As terrible as someone’s rejection might feel, your only choice for a healthy future is to remember that you have value apart from what they say or do.

No matter what, stay the course. Trust God with your fears, trust Him with the outcome. Hold fast to the boundaries you’ve set, take good care of yourself, and keep in close connection with your support system. Hold onto the Lord’s promise of hope:

How do Christians persevere in difficult and sensitive relationships within the family? Paul says, more than once, that one secret is hope (Romans 15:4, 12, 13). Followers of Christ have more resources in difficult relationships than unbelievers do, because we have hope. Paul ends this section of the letter with what we all need: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:13).

Finding support

If you’d like to talk more about how this principle impacts your specific situation, call us for a free over-the-phone consultation. Our licensed or pastoral counselors would welcome the chance to hear your story and help you take the first steps toward healing. They can also suggest referrals to ongoing support from qualified counselors and Christian therapists in your area. In the meantime, the resources and referrals below can be helpful.

 

*Names have been changed.

Resources

If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.

Aftershock: Overcoming His Secret Life With Pornography (A Plan for Recovery)

Losing Control and Liking It: How to Set Your Teen (and Yourself) Free

Overcoming Sexual Brokenness (resource list)

Substance Abuse & Addiction (resource list)

Articles

Setting Boundaries to Create Safety: Healing an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Setting Godly Boundaries in Marriage

Signs of Emotional Abuse

How to Deal Wisely With Manipulative People

Codependency Series

Why and How to Pursue a Healing Separation

Referrals

Referrals to secular organizations dealing with specialized areas of knowledge shouldn’t be read as an indication that their stances necessarily align with Focus on the Family’s perspective in all areas.

Focus on the Family Counseling Consultation Line
Call 1-855-771-HELP (4357), Monday through Friday, 6:00 AM to 8:00 PM (MT).

Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselor Network
Search for licensed Christian counselors in your area.

Al-Anon
This organization uses a 12-step program through local support groups to come alongside children, teens, and adults struggling with alcoholism and its effects.

Celebrate Recovery
“Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered, 12 step recovery program for anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind.”

Mercy Multiplied
This organization offers hope and healing for young women seeking freedom from life-controlling problems such as depression, drug and alcohol addictions, eating disorders, and physical and sexual abuse.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD)
This group offers resources on alcoholism, drunk-driving, and victim assistance.

National Runaway Safeline
This 24-hour service allows runaway children to leave messages for parents, and for parents to leave messages for their children.

Overcomers Outreach, Inc.
Designed to address problems of alcoholism and drug dependency within churches, this organization offers a Christ-centered 12-step program and a list of local support groups around the world.

Salvation Army Rehabilitation Program
Centers across the country offer housing; work; and spiritual, social, and emotional assistance for men and women struggling to cope with life’s challenges.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
A service of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, this organization works to reduce the impact of substance abuse and mental illness, and they offer several referrals for specific assistance.

Adult and Teen Challenge USA and Global Teen Challenge
This organization provides a broad scope of help and information in every area of drug and alcohol abuse.

Authentic Intimacy
“Authentic Intimacy is a unique teaching ministry devoted to teaching on God’s design for intimacy and sexuality. Our vision is represented by two words that are rarely put together: Sexual Discipleship.”

Be Broken Ministries
“Heal sexual brokenness. Grow in God’s grace. Serve every day.”

The Brushfires Foundation
This ministry helps people “discover and live toward God’s design for sexuality and relationships, equipping them to spark change by serving others.” They also host PrayLoveHeal.org, “a global community that prays for spiritual, sexual, and relational wholeness, offers the love of God to those in pain, and invites the Holy Spirit to heal our deepest wounds.”

Desert Stream/Living Waters Ministries
Desert Stream offers Christ-centered help for those who struggle with sexual and relationship issues.

Enough Is Enough
This group seeks to make the internet safer for children and families by raising public awareness about the dangers of internet pornography and sexual predators.

HopeQuest
“Whether you or someone you love is struggling with alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction or some other life-dominating behavior, we offer professional help in the context of safe spiritual community.”

Intentional Hearts
“Intentional Hearts, Inc. exists to provide professional-grade life coaching for Christian men, ministers, business professionals and parents by telephone and video calling, including a specialized focus for coaching Christian men in the recovery and pursuit of sexual integrity.”

The Medical Institute for Sexual Health
This organization provides guidance for establishing healthy sexuality through medically accurate, research-based materials and policy recommendations.

National Center on Sexual Exploitation (formerly Morality in Media)
The National Center on Sexual Exploitation combats pornography and obscenity, and they strive to uphold decency standards in the media.

New Creation Ministries
This ministry reaches out to the homosexual community, to those involved in infidelity, and to those with sexual or pornography addictions.

Pure Community
An outreach of Be Broken Ministries, Pure Community is a network of resources, workshops, counseling, and recovery groups.

Pure Desire Ministries
Pure Desire exists “to provide hope, healing, and freedom from sexual brokenness through Jesus Christ.”

Pure Hope
This organization sponsors seminars for pastors and counselors who work with victims of sexual trauma or those addicted to pornography.

Restored Hope Network
This coalition of ministries reaches out to those who struggle with sexual sin.

Restoring Hearts Counseling
John Thorington helps teens and adults who struggle with sexual addiction.

Book Cover: Aftershock A Plan for Recovery

Aftershock: Overcoming His Secret Life with Pornography: A Plan for Recovery

This book is for women who have discovered their husband’s struggle with pornography and other sexual infidelities. Based on biblical principles and psychologically sound advice, Aftershock is designed to help women heal, grow, and receive restoration for themselves, their husbands, and their marriages.
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Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

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