The Healthy Marriage Model
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6 (ESV)
What Is a Healthy Marriage?
What makes a healthy marriage? When couples celebrate long marriages, many wonder about their secret. Paul and Shirley Edie, married for over 60 years, shared a surprising insight: “We tried hanging wallpaper together once. That didn’t work. That’s when we realized we didn’t always have to like or do the same things.” This simple story highlights an essential truth about marriage.
Couples often misinterpret the concept of “one flesh,” especially during ceremonies that involve lighting a unity candle. While the unity candle symbolizes togetherness, it’s crucial to remember that each individual’s candle should remain lit. This signifies that marriage is about unity without sacrificing individuality.
In Matthew 19, Jesus addresses critics questioning the sanctity of marriage. He reminds them God’s design in Genesis 2:23-23 — a man and woman united spiritually, emotionally, and physically. This reminder underscores that marriage is sacred and should not be treated lightly. Jesus’ answer also emphasizes that marriage involves two distinct individuals with unique strengths and qualities. A healthy marriage then comprises three elements: the husband, the wife, and their relationship—each nurtured and protected by God. Rather than extinguishing individual identities, a thriving marriage flourishes when both partners support each other’s growth while seeking God’s guidance.
As Paul Edie wisely noted, “You don’t always have to like or do the same things” to have a healthy marriage.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, thank you for our unique gifts and strengths. Help us use them to uplift one another and unite us in love.
CHALLENGE
Reflect on the skills and passions God has given you and your spouse. Create a list together to celebrate and support each other’s strengths.
