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Facebook and Your Marriage

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Laura Perez

Although Facebook can be fun, it's not always the best thing for a marriage. When you get wrapped up in your online social life, even innocent interactions can divert your time and attention.

I smiled as I read a new post from a high school friend. We joked online about the songs we’d loved, the games we’d played and the boys on whom we’d had crushes. Facebook helped us re-establish an old friendship.

Then I noticed on my friend’s page that one of her “friends” was an old boyfriend of mine. I knew that with one click of my mouse I could re-establish communication. Would he be excited to hear from me? Had he thought about me over the years? The idea of reconnecting with him was tempting, but I knew that doing so would break my husband’s heart.

Although Facebook can be fun, it’s not always the best thing for my marriage. When I allow myself to get wrapped up in my online social life, even innocent interactions can divert my time and attention. It’s essential that I guard against distractions so that my husband never has to wonder which “friend” is most important in my life.

The Time Factor

When I first began using Facebook, I was often surprised how quickly the hours passed. And sometimes the phrase “Just a minute!” was used to the detriment of the man I love. One thing that’s helped me is to set limits. My time spent with online friends is now limited to 30 minutes after my husband goes to work and another 30 minutes before he comes home.

The Transparency Factor

Another goal I’ve set for myself is a commitment to complete transparency with my spouse. He has access to my Facebook account and is free to read my posts, comments and messages at any time. I have the same access to his account.

The Respect Factor

I strive to be positive on my Facebook page. If my husband has said or done something that frustrates me, I do not share it. Instead, I express my appreciation for him, giving him respect through my words. In this way I’m showing honor to the man I love by not participating in online gossip.

The Accountability Factor

Finally, I’ve asked my husband to let me know if I say or do anything to hurt or frustrate him concerning my Facebook usage. This accountability has allowed me to strengthen my marriage even as I’ve enjoyed the thrill of reconnecting with old friends online.

How strong is your marriage? Find out today with the Focus on Marriage Assessment. This reliable assessment is based on the research and experience of Focus on the Family’s marriage experts Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley. Take this free assessment now. 

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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