Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements

Husbands and Wives Are Hardwired to Complement Each Other

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Happy African-American couple dancing
LWA/Sharie Kennedy/Blend/Thinkstock
The hormonal influence and hardwiring of each spouse is designed to complement and strengthen the other. As a man loves his wife, she is more able and willing to respect him.

During my adolescent and college years, I bought into the popular arguments that men and women were basically the same and that we only became different under the influence of culture, environment and society. Then several events changed my tune.

First, I fell in love with my wife, Barb, when we were high school seniors, and I had to begin to learn firsthand the many differences between our brains.

Second, during college, Barb and I began to study the Bible together. Among the many things we learned was that God had created men and women uniquely different. Not only that, these divinely inspired differences are designed to strengthen our relationship with God and each other.

Third, during my years in medical practice, I became aware of the findings of dozens of scientists who had discovered innumerable innate differences between the brains of men and women.

Ultimately, Barb and I came to understand that the hormonal influence and hardwiring of each spouse is designed to complement and strengthen the other. As a man loves his wife and shows her affection, she is more able and willing to respect and admire him, which he’s designed to respond to by loving her all the more.

This is what love really looks like

Love is fostered and will proceed to flow out of a marriage that displays the attributes described in Philippians 2:3-7:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

That means Barb and I are both instructed to put aside our selfish desires by first serving our Creator and then by serving each other and providing for each other’s needs.

If you seek to meet your own needs or demand that your spouse meet your needs without first seeking to meet his or her needs, it will likely lead to disorder or the eventual destruction of your marriage. Our Creator, who designed the brains, roles, needs, strengths, weaknesses and blind spots of each sex, presents a different plan in the Bible: In marriage, the husband and the wife should “be subject to one another” (Ephesians 5:21, RSV).

He’s responsible for sacrificial love

The Bible tells husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). I am to love Barb in the same way God loves me. I am to give myself in sacrificial love to Barb, as Christ sacrificed himself for me. The Bible also says, “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body” (Ephesians 5:28-30). So I am to love my wife as my own body — for indeed she is one with me.

Job No. 1 for a husband is to sacrificially love his wife — above his work, children, recreation or hobbies. After our personal relationship with God, our wife should be our first priority. Is this easy? Nope. At times it can seem impossible (at least it is in our own power and strength). It requires God’s supernatural love acting in and through us.

She’s responsible for sacrificial respect

My wife, Barb, shares a woman’s perspective:

The Creator of the male brain makes our key role as wives absolutely clear when He instructs “Let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). While Walt is directed to sacrificially love me, I am to respect Walt sacrificially. According to the divine design, respecting her husband is a wife’s Job No. 1. This may seem impossible at times! Yet he cannot thrive without it.

A man is designed to respond positively to his wife’s sacrificial respect and admiration in the same way a woman is designed to respond to him when he loves, honors, nourishes and cherishes her. Part of the divine design for holy, joyful and contented marriages is for a wife, as a demonstration of her sacrificial respect for her husband, to encourage and enable him to provide leadership in marriage. It requires God’s supernatural love working in and through them.

They are divinely designed to complement each other

To be clear, wives need the respect and admiration of their husbands. The Bible teaches, “Husbands . . . treat [your wives] with respect” (1 Peter 3:7, NIV). And men need lots of love and affection from their wives. Scripture instructs women “to love their husbands” (Titus 2:4). But the basic and primary need of the male brain is to receive and respond to her respect and admiration. And the basic and primary need of the female brain is to receive and respond to his love.

A wife’s brain is designed to respond to her husband’s love. My job as a loving husband is to be my wife’s mirror — to reflect to her how lovely she is to me and to her Creator. I know she longs to hear these things not only in words but in romantic gestures as well — flowers, cards, calls, dates, dinners, time together, help with chores and conversation.

From Barb’s perspective:

My husband’s brain is created to respond when I say, “I admire and respect you. I trust you to lead our family. I appreciate all you do for me and the children. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for loving me well.” He not only needs to hear me tell him these things, but he responds dramatically when he hears me telling others these things about him.

He feels great pleasure when he is respected and admired. When he knows I respect and admire him and that I appreciate that he knows my needs and expectations, he usually bends over backward to make me happy. And the more he loves me, the more I’m able to love him. 

The secret of success when it comes to marital happiness and satisfaction is to accept the plan and assistance of our Creator who designed us, made us and instituted marriage in the first place.

God’s divine design — the fascinating interplay of a man’s brain and a woman’s brain loving and respecting each other and becoming one together — is the only design by which a man and a woman can come to a life and marriage that is rich and deeply satisfying.

Dr. Walt Larimore is a bestselling author and one of America’s best-known family physicians. Dr. Larimore co-wrote, with Barb, his childhood sweetheart and wife of more than 43 years, His Brain, Her Brain.

Dynamic CTA Template Below

Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
Emerson-Eggerich4-840w

Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

About the Author

Read More About:

You May Also Like

distraught-woman-praying
Abuse

What Is Spiritual Abuse in Marriage?

Darby Strickland, a counselor and teacher at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, defines spiritual abuse in marriage and offers advice for helping wives who are oppressed in this way.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!