Love Is More Than a Feeling

By Gary Chapman
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The Bible affirms the beauty of sex within marriage. Sex is an act of love that binds the souls of a husband and a wife to each other in a lifelong, intimate relationship.

Contrary to popular belief, Hollywood did not invent sex. According to ancient Hebrew writings, the Book of Beginnings, God looked at the man He had created and said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” The Creation narrative continues, “God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.” The man exclaimed, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Then the Creator declared that the two would “become one flesh.” The account concludes with these words: “The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:18-25).

Based on this ancient Creation account, Jews and Christians have always viewed marriage as a sacred relationship between a husband and wife, instituted by God. The sexual union between the husband and wife is seen as a profound symbol of their deep companionship. That Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed indicates that, from God’s perspective, sex is beautiful.

Throughout the Old and New Testament Scriptures, God repeatedly affirms the beauty of sexual intercourse within the marital relationship. Sexual intercourse from God’s perspective is an act of love that binds the souls of a husband and a wife to each other in a lifelong, intimate relationship.

It is obvious that one of the purposes of relating to each other sexually in the context of marriage is for reproduction. God himself said to Adam and Eve, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28). Husbands and wives who love each other and express their love sexually provide the healthiest context in which to rear children.

However, procreation is not the only purpose, nor the primary purpose, of sexual intercourse within marriage. Far more basic are the psychological and spiritual dimensions of making love. As a husband and wife give themselves to each other sexually, they are building a psychological and spiritual bond that unites their souls at the deepest possible level. Together they can face the challenges of life because they are soul partners. Nothing unites a husband and wife more deeply than making love.

God intends marital sex to be an experience of extreme pleasure.  This pleasure is not limited to the physical sensation of orgasm. It also involves the emotions, the intellect and the spirit. Sexual intercourse within marriage is designed to give us a taste of the divine. It involves the total person and brings waves of pleasure as we make love.

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of The Five Love Languages. This article is  excerpted from Happily Ever After: Six secrets to a successful marriage by Gary Chapman.

Taken from Happily Ever After copyright © 2011 by Gary Chapman. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

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About the Author

Gary Chapman
Gary Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman is the senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, N.C. He’s also an international public speaker and the best-selling author of numerous books including The Five Love Languages.

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