Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Christian parents often question: How can I raise godly teen disciples? The answer is in helping your teen by recognizing their influence, serve others selflessly, build spiritual habits, respect authority, choose godly friends, engage in tough conversations, use technology wisely, and rely on prayer.
My story
I grew up deeply loving God, raised by a believing mother, but like most teens, I struggled with peer pressure and the desire to fit in. One time, my best friend encouraged me to attend a party where there would be alcohol and drugs. I went against my better judgment and caved to peer pressure.
I was there for only a few minutes before my older brother showed up to take me home. God protected me from what could have been a dangerous situation. I should have been more influential for Christ by standing firm in my beliefs and helping my friend make a better decision.
How can I help my teen recognize their influence?
Today’s culture uniquely positions teens to reach their peers for Christ. A Pew Internet & American Life Project survey revealed that the average teen has at least 425 online and face-to- face friends. A 15-year-old who posts a viral biblical message can reach more people than ever.
Social media can be a powerful tool used for good! Equip your teen to understand that influence isn’t limited to adults or authority figures. Start by helping them recognize their social sphere — a sports team, a youth group, or a social media feed. Encourage them to ask: “Who is watching me, and what are they learning about God through my actions?”
How can I teach my teen to serve others selflessly?
Some biblical scholars believe it is likely that many of Jesus’ disciples were teens. He equipped them to become evangelical messengers of the living word, Jesus Christ. When we raise our teens to become godly disciples, they learn to “die to self” putting others first because they understand they can influence souls for all eternity.
We can help our teens become selfless instead of selfish, others-focused rather than self centered. This transformation takes intentionality. Model a lifestyle of service and humility at home. Assign your teen meaningful responsibilities that involve helping others — a neighbor, a church ministry, or a younger sibling. Then debrief with them asking questions like: “How did that feel?” and “What did you learn about God and yourself in that moment?”
How can we build intentional spiritual habits as a family?
Prioritize the critical spiritual assets. Reflect on how often you pray at home. Study the Bible, listen to worship music, prepare to serve others, read Christian materials, and watch Christian media. Do you have a family mission statement or a disciplinary contract? Do you discuss how you will serve others as a family? Is your family active in the church?
These are key reflection points to guide your family in raising godly teen disciples together.
- Sit down quarterly to set goals:
- Scripture memorization
- Prayer habits
- Volunteer work
Let them suggest what growth looks like — then walk beside them as they pursue it.
How can I guide my teen to respect authority and love others?
As teens strive to become independent individuals rather than extensions of their parents, they often challenge the parent-child relationship. Engage in conversations with them about the importance of respecting authority, honoring their parents, and prioritizing others.
Talk about specific ways they can honor God and their friends. They will become effective disciples as they learn to “honor your father and mother” and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19 NIV).
Invite your teen to share their views on fairness, authority, and respect. Don’t just teach — listen. Validate their perspective before guiding them toward biblical principles. Respect earned by example often teaches more than rules enforced by power.
How can I teach my teen to choose godly friends?
Help your teens understand the importance of choosing friends who positively influence their faith. Discuss how to form healthy friendships and the importance of loving others, even those who may be difficult to love.
However, remind them of the biblical principle not to “…give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs” (Matthew 7:6 NIV). This verse uses strong imagery to teach discernment. It encourages us to be wise about who we share deep truths with, especially when someone is not ready or willing to listen. Help your teen do a “friendship inventory”: Who brings them closer to God? Who pulls them away?
How can I help my teen lovingly share their faith?
Teach your teen to identify opportunities to bring God’s word into the conversation and be helpful without judging harshly. For example, your teen tells you they have a friend who is questioning whether God is real and says your teen is a fool for believing. This is where unconditional love and non-judgment come in. Their friend is lost and needs a loving guide.
This begins with an honest conversation, not a negative one. Your teen can ask their friend why they feel this way. This is the first step in apologetics — building a bridge of trusted communication. “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV). Encouragement isn’t just about positivity — it’s a spiritual discipline that builds faith and fosters unity in the body of Christ.
How can I prepare my teen for tough conversations?
You can role-play various conversations your teens might encounter. Role-playing equips them with the confidence to handle real-life situations and prepare thoughtful, compassionate responses. For example, they might come across a friend crying in the school bathroom because her parents are upset about her belief in God, or they might have a friend considering drugs as a way to cope with problems at home. Through role-playing, you can help your teen develop empathetic, effective ways to respond.
How can I help my teen use technology with purpose?
It is important to stay engaged with your teen’s social media activity. Guide your teen on how to use technology and social media safely and positively. Encourage them to be a positive influence online by spreading kindness and the love of Christ to their extensive network of friends and followers. Teach them to use their online presence to uplift others and share meaningful messages, helping them navigate the digital world with integrity and purpose.
Matthew 10:16 tells us to be “wise as serpents and innocent as doves,” reminding us that our teens must be strategic and Christlike in their online witness. Consider co creating a “digital mission plan” with your teen: what content to share, how to respond to trolls, and how to glorify God in their online identity.
How can I show my teen the power of prayer?
Be a role model by exemplifying the dedication of a true prayer warrior. Demonstrate to them through your actions how a powerful prayer life can positively impact their faith and daily living. James 5:16 affirms that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
When teens see this lived out, they understand prayer is both practical and supernatural. Teach different prayer styles — silent, written, conversational, and intercessory. Let your teen take the lead sometimes in family prayer to build confidence and ownership.
How can I help my teen build spiritual resilience?
Help your teen build a “resilience toolbox”— scriptures to memorize, worship songs that uplift, safe mentors to talk with, and healthy coping practices like journaling or physical activity. Keep a journal of situations in which God answered your prayers. Your child will learn to trust God’s truth and promises.
Help your teen understand that resilience means not letting pressure, failure, or problems stop you from holding on to your faith, knowing God will be with you and see you through all of it.
This journey to raise godly teen disciples will demand patience, love, and commitment, but its rewards are everlasting. Your teen has the potential to make a profound impact on their peers, leading them to the saving grace of Jesus Christ and a lifelong love for God.
