How can you make bedtime a more peaceful event? Establish nighttime routines for your kids that will help them to transition from busy days to restful nights.
“You can sleep when you’re dead.” The mantra is quoted by exercise enthusiasts, professionals on deadline, and college kids justifying a late-night party before tomorrow’s exam. But is that good advice?
“We know how to run hard,” said Brenda Jank of Run Hard. Rest Well. “But we don’t know how to rest well.”
How important is sleep, anyway? Trimming back on necessary sleep results in weight gain and impaired thinking. Chronic deficits sabotage health and shorten our life span.
Studies show that an adult who regularly clocks less than seven hours of sleep experiences an immediate and negative impact on their body. Each age group has different sleep requirements.
Most adults function optimally with 7.5 to 8.5 hours of sleep in a 24-hour cycle. To know how much sleep you need, note the how many hours you generally sleep when you awaken naturally instead of waking to an alarm, a child, spouse, or pet.
The sleep needs of a healthy individual is largely determined by genetics and age. According to the Division of Sleep Medicine Harvard Medical School, “Genetics plays a role in both the amount of sleep a person needs, as well as his or her preference for waking up early (these are the so-called “larks,” or morning-type individuals) or staying up late (these are the “owls,” or evening-type people). Our internal biological clock, which regulates the cycling of many functions including the sleep/wake cycle, can vary slightly from individual to individual.”
Problems sleeping can be a temporary response to upset routines, crisis, or heightened stress. For those who struggle with insomnia, doctors can prescribe sleep aids including antidepressants and antihistamines, depending on the patient’s type of sleep struggles. Side effects of these medications can range from grogginess and difficulty thinking clearly the next day, to addiction and anxiety.
Medical experts agree that whenever possible, people do best when they adjust their behavior and lifestyle to facilitate health-giving sleep habits.
But in a culture that values a strong work ethic and superhuman productivity, we can feel guilty about our need for rest. The result is that we lean on entertainment and escape as a substitute escape for rest, only to continue feeling depleted.
Although rest is the missing piece in our hurried schedules, rest is the first thing in Scripture that God blessed. “Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation,” Genesis 2:1-3.
Knowing what we need, God provided life-giving rhythms of work and rest. “Six days you shall do your work, but on the seventh day you shall rest; that your ox and your donkey may have rest, and the son of your servant woman, and the alien, may be refreshed,” Exodus 23:12.
Without the recovery provided by sleep, we lose joy, creativity dries up, productivity drops, and satisfaction with life dissolves into discouragement. When we make unhealthy food choices, sleep poorly, and avoid exercise, we are medicating our need for restorative rest with all the wrong medicines.
When we are well rested, joy returns, relationships flourish, productivity is optimized, and troublesome medical conditions diminish. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and our families is to take a nap. And regularly get to bed.
Bedtime routines that work for better sleep for you and your child
Children thrive with a routine that transitions into a consistent bedtime. Wrap up the day by building with Legos, coloring, molding play dough, engaging in family Bible time, and reading books. Skip bedtime battles and use bedtime routines that work with these tips from family counselor, June Hunt, in her book, Bonding With Your Child Through Boundaries.
For the child who regularly gets up after being put to bed, calmly say, “It’s time to sleep,” and gently put them back to bed. For some, this routine must be done consistently. Eventually the child becomes confident that this is going to be the repeated boundary and stops fighting the routine.
Regardless of the child’s behavior, snuggling is essential. Your child sleeps better knowing your love is unconditional. In her book, Mostly What God Does, author Savannah Guthrie said “when I put my kids down we have a ritual. It’s the usual bath, brush, book, (bicker), bedtime routine. Right before lights go out, my husband or I lay down next to them. We say our prayers. Then we say, “thirty seconds … starting now.”
Thirty seconds of stillness, just being together. Sometimes the child falls asleep and the parent tip-toes from the room. Other times the child jabbers about something on their mind. Then they do the thirty seconds of quiet once more.
When we function on little sleep, we carry the deficit until we can make up what is needed. Applying bedtime routines that work, adults and children are rested and experience less emotional outbursts. With adequate sleep, we feel better, life looks brighter, we make wiser decisions, and we hear the Lord’s voice clearer. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, sleep rejuvenates.
Are you weary? Is your family tired? Is your work team running on empty?
Typically when we see one another we ask, “How are you?”
“Busy,” is the common reply.
Imagine answering, “Well and rested.”
Here are some more routine ideas to help your kids transition from busy days to restful nights:
I wanted to encourage my 2-year-old son to become less dependent on his pacifier at night. After providing him with a small box, crayons and stickers, I explained that we were decorating a bed for his pacifier. At bedtime, he placed the pacifier in its new bed, covered it up with a little blanket (a scrap of cloth) and said good night. Although he cried for an hour the first night, by the second night he only cried for 15 minutes — and by the third night he was over his nighttime dependency.
—Suzannah Kiper
My 6-year-old daughter’s long hair was beautiful, but it took a long time to dry after a bath. So I asked her to pray with me while we dried her hair. She agreed. We named the people we thought needed help and prayed for each one. Soon it became our hair-drying ritual.
—Claire McGarry
Rainy days and bedtimes are great opportunities for telling Bible stories to our kids. As my children got older, I often told the stories incorrectly on purpose, just to test their knowledge. How they loved correcting me! Then we would tell the true version of the story together. Doing this was fun, and it helped my kids review their Bible knowledge.
—May Patterson
Listening is an important communication skill to foster in children. So on the weekends when my kids crawl into bed, we all turn on walkie-talkies in our separate rooms, and the kids take turns talking about their week. The walkie-talkies don’t let anyone interrupt while someone is talking, and everyone has to listen until a person is done. My kids know they have everyone’s attention. I listen to them, and they listen to each other.
—Jared Hottenstein
You can use glow-in-the-dark duct tape to make a cross on the wall in your children’s bedrooms. Kids love seeing this reassuring symbol of God’s love glowing in the dark as they go to sleep at night.
—Kim Decker
Most three- and four-year-olds will sleep about twelve hours each night. A daytime nap may continue to be part of your child’s routine, but don’t be surprised when it is phased out during the next several months.
Remember that bedtime should be early because your child needs the sleep and you need time with other children, your spouse, or yourself. During the middle of summer, this can be a challenge. The sun may still be shining, and all sorts of activity may still be going on outside at what is normally bedtime.
You will need to decide how much to bend your routines to match the seasons, or perhaps invest in heavy window shades if you need to darken your child’s room at this time of year. You may also need to exercise sensible flexibility to accommodate family work schedules.
The activities that surround getting tucked in should become a familiar and quieting routine. At this age, bedtime can be a delightful, enlightening experience. You can introduce your child to some wonderful stories, including books with several chapters that can create eager anticipation for the next night’s installment. Your child’s desire to keep the lights on and you in the room as long as possible will usually cause her to be remarkably transparent and receptive.
Expect to hear some of her private thoughts (“I think I know what Buster is saying when he barks . . .”) or to tackle some riddles of the universe (“Where is heaven?”). Without being manipulated too much, allow enough slack in your day so you can relax during these wide-eyed sessions.
You will probably have many more opportunities at bedtime to talk about God and the values you care about than during family devotions or even at church, Sunday school, or other formal religious teaching sessions.
—The Complete Guide to Baby and Child Care
This article is a compilation of articles written by various authors. The author names are found within the article.
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