Parental Respect

By Danny Huerta, MSW, LCSW, LSSW
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Respect is an essential component of communication and correction in the home. Read more about how respect is one of the seven essential traits of parenting.

My family was standing in line for the old-time roller coaster at Elitch Gardens in Denver. We were next in line, and as a group near us exited their car, a boy forgot his hat in the cubby where people leave their belongings so that they don’t come flying out during the ride. He ran back to get it, and by accident, he cut sharply in front of an adult. When the boy got back near his family, his father slapped him upside the head. I was saddened by the scene. Perhaps this father was trying to teach his son the importance of respecting strangers, but it sure seemed like a disrespectful—and ineffective—way to teach that lesson. Respect breeds respect, and disrespect breeds disrespect.

Related Content: Take our free 7 Traits of Effective Parenting Assessment to see where you rank in the area of respect.  

Respect is an essential component of communication and correction in the home. Parents are required to have many types of interactions with their kids. We teach them and discipline them. We remind them of family expectations, and of how God’s direction might influence a decision. Wise parents treat their children respectfully in all of these situations. This builds a child’s sense of value. And it’s an important part of how children learn how to respect others—especially their parents.

Kids raised in respectful environments learn these important traits:

Forgiveness and grace

In respectful homes, kids better learn to forgive and accept forgiveness. Everyone messes up and needs a do-over, parents included, and a respectful family atmosphere creates the workings for humility and grace.

Authentic humility

Children who are taught respect learn that people are important. They began to think of others instead of just themselves, and they are often more genuine in their care for others.

Attention and patience

A respectful family environment teaches kids to focus their attention and listen to others—to recognize that what other people have to say is important. They learn to wait for their turn and not insist on always having their own way.

Boundaries and assertiveness

When children understand the significance of respecting others’ possessions and time, they learn to take care for what is someone else’s and what is their own.


A respectful home helps build trust among family members, the foundation of love. Respectfulness will create true character, which is how we behave when no one else is watching. Trust helps create a natural flow of empathy, compassion and kindness toward each other in the home. 

Copyright © 2017 by Focus on the Family


Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.
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