How Can I Encourage Children With Special Needs While They’re Away From School?

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

Kids with special needs can struggle with deviating from routine schedules during school breaks and holidays. With some forward planning, parents can ease the transition to be more peaceful for everyone.

As a parent, you may be asking, “How can I encourage my children with special needs while they’re away from school?”

Addie’s story

My friend Addie has a son diagnosed with autism. I watched as she spent months working with her son Micah’s local school principal, support team members, outside therapists, and teachers to write a plan that would encourage his success as he started in a new school. He did well throughout the Fall semester, meeting short-term goals and learning how to connect with his peers. This took a lot of time and effort on the part of Addie, Micah, and his support team members, all of whom were very encouraged to see Micah making steady progress. And Addie shared her excitement with me when Micah adjusted well to a new schedule that started in January.

But that all came to a halt when Addie’s school sent students home for two weeks during the pandemic and again for the summer break.

Why is change so difficult for kids with special needs?

Change is hard for all of us but can be especially difficult for children with disabilities and special needs and their parents. As they struggle to manage the specific challenge of change that come with their special circumstances, they experience an ebb and flow of difficulties and successes along the way. What’s more, there’s a lot of red tape to cut through related to systems and processes that are not always set up to accommodate their unique needs in a helpful way.

I could hear the frustration and disappointment in Addie’s voice when she asked me, “Why did this have to happen now, when I finally found a school that understands Micah and he was starting to get it?” Then, through tears, she added, “Nothing ever works out. Here we go again.”

We’ve all been there, haven’t we, when it seems to be one closed door after another? Our Lord understands, and God’s word reminds us:

“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all” Psalms 34:17-19 (ESV).

How many kids with special needs are there?

So how can Addie help Micah at home and keep him moving in a positive direction, especially when outside therapy sessions are also cancelled for holidays and vacations? How can friends and family members of parents who have children with special needs help? These are questions that are likely on the mind of many parents and those who love them because Addie is not alone.

According to the most recent National Center for Education Statistics (2023), approximately 15 percent of children in public schools receive special education services. These children have a variety of physical, emotional, behavioral, and/or learning disabilities. The number of children with special needs in America is likely much higher than 15 percent, as many people send their children with special needs to private schools or choose to homeschool their children when they are unable to find a school environment that can meet their child’s specific needs.

How can I help my child with special needs stay on track?

For those of you with children with special needs, here are some tips that may help your children hold on to the recent gains they’ve made in school and in therapy sessions, while they’re at home. Some suggestions for friend and family support are also provided.

1. Use the senses. Kids with special needs often need a number of different cues–those that they can see, hear, and feel–in order to remember information. It’s helpful to use pictures, sounds, and hands-on activities to help with retention.
2. Get their attention. Usually, therapists have learned some good ways to gain and keep the attention of a child with special needs, so talk with them and ask them for their tips for attention-getting.
3. Online therapy sessions. You might also want to ask if you can arrange therapy sessions via an online video program. If that’s possible, ask the therapist what materials you need to have on hand for the therapy session before the session starts.
4. Set a routine. Remember that most children, including those with special needs, respond well to routines. Typically, repetition yields some good results. So, as much as possible, try to match the routines they’ve gotten used to at school.
5. Plan for transitions. Transitions are hard for some children with special needs, so if that’s the case with your child, remember to give him or her notice before you’re going to switch to a new activity. You might want to use a timer so your child can see that the time is winding down for one activity and you’ll be switching soon.
6. Positive reinforcement. Reinforce successes and good behavior with words of encouragement and special time with you.
7. Support parents of special needs children. For friends and family members, remember that being the parent of a child with special needs takes a lot of energy beyond that which is required of any parent. So, ask the parent of a child with special needs how you can support her (or him) and be ready to pitch in where needed.
8. Communicate with kids. Also, if you have kids at home, encourage them to communicate with the child with special needs via email, art projects, or conversations over social media. Depending on the area of special needs, some kids won’t be able to communicate, but others will welcome a hand extended in friendship.

Why are all children a blessing?

Psalm 127:3-4 reminds us that all children are a blessing, valuable to God.

“³ Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
⁴ Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
    are the children of one’s youth.” (ESV)

This is one of many Bible verses about special needs. Children with special needs have unique gifts and talents to contribute to all of our lives if we take the time to get to know them. I learned to enjoy the dark from a visually impaired student, and how to use my voice instead of my hands to communicate feelings from a paraplegic young boy. A neighbor with Down Syndrome showed me the power of a smile. I encourage you to reach out and extend an offer to help, and you’ll likely be blessed in the process.

How can I celebrate holidays with a sensory-sensitive child?

Celebrating the holidays can be difficult for your sensory-sensitive child. For children with sensory sensitivities, traveling, rich food, varying amounts of activity, and even hugs from infrequently seen relatives can feel uncomfortable or actually painful. Thankfully, there are ways to reduce the overload.

As my 3-year-old looked at her pile of Christmas presents and the group of relatives waiting expectantly for her to open them, she burst into tears and ran from the room.

Eating dinner with our extended family of 10 and opening gifts one by one as the others looked on were our family’s treasured traditions, but they only made Katie miserable. The lights, laughter, crackling paper, and festive music added up to sensory overload for my daughter with autism.

1. Educate relatives on sensory sensitivity. Before adjusting beloved traditions, let relatives know how the sensory sensitivity can grate on your child’s nervous system. Explain that this causes irritation similar to what they might feel if trapped in a room with strobe lights and loud dance music while wearing an itchy wool sweater and eating lemons.
2. Know why it’s important to explain your child’s sensitivity. By explaining your child’s sensory sensitivities, you prepare your family for the possible breaks you may take with your child when things become overwhelming. Describing what your child is feeling creates empathy for the sensory overload they may experience during the holiday celebrations.
3. Modify plans for your child. We used to fly five hours to meet relatives and then immediately drive with them another four hours to our holiday destination. After a trip ended with Katie screaming for an hour, we broke the journey into two days and traveled alone. Disappointing relatives is difficult, but I learned that accommodating extended family isn’t as important as meeting our child’s needs.
4. Plan ahead for sensory overload. Knowing your child’s triggers and what may cause a sensitive sensory reaction is important when considering travel for the holiday season. You want to celebrate with your child, and you want them to feel safe and calm, as well. Planning ahead allows for you to think through the possibilities and choose the best course of action for you and your family.
5. Do less each day. Can you schedule the fancy dinner on one day and gift-opening the next? It helped Katie if we unwrapped fewer gifts over several days rather than all in one sitting. By doing less each day, you give your child some room to breathe after the festivities of the day. Let your extended family know ahead of time that it would be helpful to spread things out over the course of a few days.
6. Provide familiar things and calm breaks. Katie found sensory relief by swinging outside or reading a familiar book in a quiet room. If you cannot find a soothing break for your child, seek ideas from an occupational therapist with a specialty in sensory integration.

How can a sensory-sensitive child remind us of Jesus’ love?

These changes helped Katie and blessed the entire family. We realized that the sensory extravaganza of previous years actually diminished our joy over Jesus’ birth. Katie’s challenges reminded us that Christmas is not about ornaments, presents, food, or family traditions. This freed us to appreciate God’s incomparable gifts of eternal life, love, joy, and peace.