Healing the Hurt of a Past Abortion

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
A contemplative woman thinking about her hurt over a past abortion

A lot of women feel hopeless about ever resolving the pain connected with their abortion. But healing is possible.

When you recognize your need to come to terms with a past abortion, the following steps are important ones to consider on your path to healing:

Remember the Pain

 

The first step toward healing is peeling away the callus formed by months or years of denying and repressing the painful emotions connected with your abortion. Although your feelings have been bundled up and hidden away, too painful to deal with, they continue to fester like a smoldering infection, affecting your current choices and behavior.

The simplest way to access these old feelings is to find a safe, supportive environment in which you can talk about your abortion experience.

Accept Forgiveness

 

If you hold any kind of spiritual beliefs, long-term healing will come only when you feel reconciled with God. If you struggle with the feeling that you are a second-class citizen in God’s eyes, you may turn away from God completely or try to “prove yourself” by being good long enough for God to forgive you.

Or, you may know in your mind that God can forgive any sin, but you can’t accept it in your heart, because you cannot forgive yourself. Here are three things we must all understand:

  1. Your debt is paid. The Bible clearly teaches that God has already made provision for your forgiveness: He accepts Jesus’ death as full payment for any and all sins we commit. Do not let your guilty emotions still demand that you pay the debt yourself.
  2. God is near. When we accept responsibility for our choices and openly express our sorrow to God, He is ready and waiting to draw us back into intimacy with Him.
  3. Consequences are not the same as punishment. A consequence of abortion might be infertility, but this is not a punishment from God. He is as grieved as we are about the losses brought on by our choices. Although we all live with the consequences of our choices, Jesus literally accepted the death sentence for our sins. He took the punishment so we don’t have to.

God is as grieved as we are about the losses brought on by our choices.

Identify and Release the Anger

Perhaps you resist verbalizing your anger, thinking, “If I get in touch with the rage inside me, it might lead to a total loss of control.” The paradox is this: Until you openly acknowledge the pain and anger you feel about your abortion, you will not get rid of it.

Grieve the Loss

The need to grieve a pregnancy loss fully is well-documented, and for good reason. But you may cry out, “How do I grieve when I feel like it is my fault?”

Many pregnancy resource centers host small, confidential groups where you can walk this path together with other women. Some ways to work through your grief may include writing out your feelings for your child or even having a quiet time of reflection to process and remind yourself of God’s grace and love.

Take Hope!

A lot of women feel hopeless about ever resolving the pain connected with their abortion. But healing is possible, and God is as close as the air we breathe, waiting to hear our whispered cries for help.

Thousands of women will seek and receive help this year; you can be one of them. There is no need for you to continue grieving silently. Reach out to someone who understands. You are not alone.

 

If you need further guidance and encouragement, Focus on the Family has a staff of licensed, professional Christian counselors available to talk with you at no charge. Just call 800-A-FAMILY (232-6459)

Teri K. Reisser, M.S., M.F.T., is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been counseling post-abortive women since 1984. Paul C. Reisser, M.D., serves on the National Physicians Resource Council for Focus on the Family. They live in Thousand Oaks, Calif.

Additional Reading:  If you’d like to learn more about abortion’s impact, visit StandApart.org. 

Dynamic CTA Template Below

Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
Emerson-Eggerich4-840w

Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

Read More About:

You May Also Like

upset-woman-with-financial-papers
Abuse

What Is Financial Abuse in Marriage?

Darby Strickland, a counselor and teacher at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, defines financial abuse in marriage and offers advice for helping wives who are oppressed in this way.

Woman collecting pieces of a puzzle to complete the post-abortion healing
Abortion

Post-Abortion Hope and Healing

What are some of the after effects of abortion? Find out more about post-abortion syndrome and the hope and healing available.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!