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Choose Wisely… Words Matter

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Jessica Hische

In marriage and other relationships, words are powerful. Search for those words that will carry beauty into your home and your heart.

Beautifully wrapped boxes adorned the gift tables; ribbons and bows overflowed. After our wedding, my husband and I opened each package to find vases, frames, towels, appliances — everything a newlywed couple could want. 

And while each gift has found a place in our house, none of them is what makes our home truly beautiful or our difficult tasks easier. That’s because the best gifts didn’t come wrapped in paper that day, but wrapped in words. 

A Spoken Union

My husband and I exchanged our gifts at the altar. I committed my life to his through a marriage covenant — a promise to love until death. And my husband did the same. With the words of our mouths, our union was spoken into reality. 

More than a decade later, the exchange continues. Just as on that first day, I’m learning that the most valuable gifts I bring to our marriage are still the words I speak.

And here’s why: In marriage and other relationships, my words are powerful — and so are yours. 

Proverbs 18:21 explains: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” So, whether I’m using my mouth for good or for ill, I can be sure that I’m going to partake of what I’m voicing. 

This means I get to choose what I want for my marriage — and I choose life. With this choice comes the responsibility to select my words carefully, so I search for those that will carry beauty into our home and our hearts. 

Gifts of Communication

Here’s what that looks like for me. I use affirming words to describe my husband’s character — both to him and to others — and I enjoy watching him grow stronger. I use respectful words toward his views, and I enjoy the peace of unity. I encourage him with the Word, and I delight in the foundation upon which we’re building our marriage. 

But I’ll admit, I don’t always choose life. Using careless words, I’ve verbalized my natural inclinations toward bitterness, criticism and pride. I’ve attacked my husband and ushered in mistrust; I’ve criticized him and threatened peace; I’ve preferred selfish chatter to the truth and watched indifference weaken our marital foundation. 

No, I haven’t always chosen wisely, so I’m thankful that each word spoken carries a new opportunity. These precious gifts of communication now adorn our home and speak our union into a more visible reality — one we’ll enjoy for the rest of our lives. 

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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