Loving Your Wife With the Little Things

By Jared Hottenstein
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Husband brushing toddler's teeth showing how to love your wife
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While remembering birthdays, anniversaries and Mother's Day is important, if you want to show love to your wife, learn to help her with the little things.

I recently had a busy week at work and had to spend a lot of evenings away from the house. I knew my wife was just as exhausted as I was, having wrangled the kids all week. When Friday finally arrived, I could have taken her out to a fancy dinner, but we both might have fallen asleep. Instead, I came home and tackled the bedtime routine with the kids. It gave her time to have a cup of coffee and relax.

My wife could see my exhaustion. Giving her a few minutes of peace while I got the kids into bed allowed me to demonstrate selfless love to my wife. Making these small sacrifices communicates a big message to my wife: I’m putting her before myself.

Filling my wife’s gas tank, making her a cup of coffee, mobilizing the kids to load the dishwasher, giving the kids baths, folding laundry — these tasks often communicate love more effectively than a hug or a kiss or a box of chocolates. And that message of love is so much more clear if I help her without being asked.

You, too, can love your wife by doing simple, little tasks. Start by making a list of all the little things your wife does that you take for granted, such as scrubbing the kitchen sink, packing school lunches and picking up wet towels in the bathroom. These things usually take less than a few minutes of work, so taking responsibility for them is practical and sustainable.

We don’t need to announce our good deeds. My wife had asked me 20 times to fix a squeaky door on our pantry. It took 10 seconds to zap the hinge with WD-40. She didn’t notice I had fixed it for more than a week, but when she did notice, you would have thought I had built an addition to the house.

Yes, we need to remember the major things like birthdays, anniversaries and Mother’s Day, but if you want to show love to your wife, learn to focus on the little things. Your wife isn’t looking for Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse and sweep her off her feet. Sometimes all she needs is someone to unclog the toilet.

This article first appeared in the April/May 2020 issue of Focus on the Family magazine. It was originally titled “Majoring in the Minors.” © 2020 Focus on the Family. All right reserved.

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