Communication — A Perfect 10 Marriage Meditation

By Bill Arbuckle
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a man and woman talk at the dinner table
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On a scale of one to 10 — with 10 being the highest — where do you rate your marriage? Good communication can make your marriage stronger.

Getting Started

  • Read today’s marriage devotion.
  • Share today’s question with your spouse.

Today’s Video

Today’s Devotion

On a scale of one to 10 — with 10 being the highest — where do you rate your marriage?

We all want a perfect ten. But can two imperfect people have a perfect 10 marriage?

During the recent Perfect 10 Marriage event, Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley — authors, counselors and Focus on the Family’s marriage experts — invited couples from around the world to share how they’re working toward a perfect 10 marriage.

The “Perfect 10” couples talked about five major challenges all marriages face … and what they’re doing to overcome those challenges.

The five challenges include:

  • Communication
  • Time Together
  • Shared Responsibility
  • Conflict
  • Intimacy

To help you work through these challenges in your marriage, Focus on the Family has created a series of devotionals to address each issue and offer Bible-based tips for you and your spouse.

Let’s get started by taking a look at what God says about communication.

Discover the Strengths and Weaknesses of Your Marriage

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Scripture Reading

  • James 1:19 — “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
  • Psalm 19:14 — “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
  • Colossians 3:13 — “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”

Meditation

She was warned about the danger. Her response? “Shut up, I’m working.” An hour later, she was calling for help. Had she heeded the early warning, she may have survived the journey and docked safely in New York.

Due to a series of communications errors, the R.M.S. Titanic is remembered as one of the greatest tragedies of the modern era. More than 1,500 passengers lost their lives because a wireless telegraph company valued paid messages over maritime weather reports. Because the ship’s captain did not respond to warnings. And a nearby ship ignored Titanic’s signal flares and failed to make contact with the sinking ship.

Communications breakdowns aren’t limited to ships and telegraph operators. Many communications problems take place in homes and marriages. When couples fail — or don’t know how — to communicate, resentment grows and spouses become enemies instead of allies.

How to avoid a Titanic-sized sommunications breakdown in your marriage

The Bible has much to say about communication. Jesus is described as “The Word.” God spoke the universe into existence. He also gave instructions about how to communicate with others. Here are three examples:

  • Good communication starts by giving God control of your thoughts and words. Psalm 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
  • Good communication shows kindness to others. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”
  • Good communication involves more than words. It requires listening and responding in a godly manner. James 1:19 says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

What difference would it make in your marriage if you gave God control of your thoughts and words? If you showed kindness in the way you respond to your spouse? If you were quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to get angry? Maybe you could avoid a Titanic-sized communications breakdown in your marriage.

Sometimes God asks us to do difficult things for our spouse. But He doesn’t expect you to do it on your own. Ask Him for help. He cares about your marriage.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, help me to be quick to listen to my spouse, take time to respond appropriately and control my temper. Amen.

Today’s Question

How can you live out James 1:19 today and be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry?

Additional Resources

© 2020 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. Originally published on FocusOnTheFamily.com.

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