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Communication — A Perfect 10 Marriage Meditation

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On a scale of one to 10 — with 10 being the highest — where do you rate your marriage? Good communication can make your marriage stronger.

Getting Started

  • Read today’s marriage devotion.
  • Share today’s question with your spouse.

Today’s Video

Today’s Devotion

On a scale of one to 10 — with 10 being the highest — where do you rate your marriage?

We all want a perfect ten. But can two imperfect people have a perfect 10 marriage?

During the recent Perfect 10 Marriage event, Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley — authors, counselors and Focus on the Family’s marriage experts — invited couples from around the world to share how they’re working toward a perfect 10 marriage.

The “Perfect 10” couples talked about five major challenges all marriages face … and what they’re doing to overcome those challenges.

The five challenges include:

  • Communication
  • Time Together
  • Shared Responsibility
  • Conflict
  • Intimacy

To help you work through these challenges in your marriage, Focus on the Family has created a series of devotionals to address each issue and offer Bible-based tips for you and your spouse.

Let’s get started by taking a look at what God says about communication.

Discover the Strengths and Weaknesses of Your Marriage

In order to strengthen and grow your marriage, it is important to first know and evaluate how it is doing. Take a free marriage assessment to identify the key areas where you could use improvement and the tools that will help you with that. We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take this free assessment to strengthen your marriage!

Scripture Reading

  • James 1:19 — “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
  • Psalm 19:14 — “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
  • Colossians 3:13 — “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”

Meditation

She was warned about the danger. Her response? “Shut up, I’m working.” An hour later, she was calling for help. Had she heeded the early warning, she may have survived the journey and docked safely in New York.

Due to a series of communications errors, the R.M.S. Titanic is remembered as one of the greatest tragedies of the modern era. More than 1,500 passengers lost their lives because a wireless telegraph company valued paid messages over maritime weather reports. Because the ship’s captain did not respond to warnings. And a nearby ship ignored Titanic’s signal flares and failed to make contact with the sinking ship.

Communications breakdowns aren’t limited to ships and telegraph operators. Many communications problems take place in homes and marriages. When couples fail — or don’t know how — to communicate, resentment grows and spouses become enemies instead of allies.

How to avoid a Titanic-sized sommunications breakdown in your marriage

The Bible has much to say about communication. Jesus is described as “The Word.” God spoke the universe into existence. He also gave instructions about how to communicate with others. Here are three examples:

  • Good communication starts by giving God control of your thoughts and words. Psalm 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
  • Good communication shows kindness to others. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”
  • Good communication involves more than words. It requires listening and responding in a godly manner. James 1:19 says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

What difference would it make in your marriage if you gave God control of your thoughts and words? If you showed kindness in the way you respond to your spouse? If you were quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to get angry? Maybe you could avoid a Titanic-sized communications breakdown in your marriage.

Sometimes God asks us to do difficult things for our spouse. But He doesn’t expect you to do it on your own. Ask Him for help. He cares about your marriage.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, help me to be quick to listen to my spouse, take time to respond appropriately and control my temper. Amen.

Today’s Question

How can you live out James 1:19 today and be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry?

Additional Resources

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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