Who would want to live in an angry marriage? Whether or not they intend to, many people do. It takes only a moment to blurt out harsh words but a lifetime to undo the damage. Few things harm marriages like anger. Affairs — whether physical or emotional — leave deep wounds. Abuse destroys trust. But they’re the “big” things. Anger just happens. It’s a part of daily life. But does it have to be? If you want to avoid an angry marriage, memorize these six scriptures and ask God to help you remember them when life is difficult.
- Ephesians 4:31 — “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” As followers of Jesus Christ, we are a new creation. It’s time to put away old, sinful behaviors that create an angry marriage and tear us apart as couples.
- Ephesians 4:26-27 — “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Some things call for a strong response. Jesus showed anger at the moneychangers who took advantage of people in God’s temple. But anger is seldom the appropriate response to your spouse. Such habitual or inappropriate anger can “give the devil an opportunity” to cause greater pain in our marriages.
- Psalm 37:8 — “Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.” Not only does anger give the devil an opportunity to hurt your marriage, but also opens the door to other sinful behaviors that can harm your relationship with your spouse.
- Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” One of the best ways to avoid an angry marriage is to respond to your spouse’s words in a kind and Christ-like manner.
- James 1:19 – “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” What difference would it make in your marriage if you followed God’s instructions to listen, slow down and check your response?
- Psalm 103:8 – “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” Since this is how God treats us, we should follow His example when dealing with our spouse. It’s not easy, but His Spirit helps us respond with kindness and patience.
Anger is destructive. It leads to bitterness, hurt and broken relationships. But you can avoid an angry marriage by memorizing these six verses and asking God to remind you of them when you’re tempted to lash out at your spouse. You’ll notice the difference when you ask God to replace your anger with His peace.