Be a DIY Dad

By Jay Payleitner
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It's not just about the stilts. It's about your relationship with your kids.

There are times when all kids need their dad. Unfortunately, a father rarely knows when these moments will arrive. The best choice is to simply be there every chance you get, even if that means rearranging your schedule, passing on a promotion or putting one of your passions on hold for a few years. That way, you’ll have a chance to help your kid build a pair of stilts.

Yes, stilts. Trust me. Kids love the idea of being taller. And you can finish this project in a single, relaxing afternoon. Find plans online if you like, but really, this is a piece of cake. Grab a couple of 1-by-2 boards, measure and cut, secure the triangular footrests, smooth a few sharp corners, and you’re done. If you’re an experienced woodworker, you’re already two steps ahead of me.

Creative answers

Of course, this project isn’t just about measuring and sawing, drilling and sanding. It’s about building a family, living life together and learning stuff along the way. It’s about being a dad who is available for fun little projects, as well as the deeper conversations that often come up while you’re working. And it’s about seizing one of your main opportunities as a dad: to offer a creative answer when your kid says, “I’m soooo bored.” If you aren’t prepared, your kid may end up wasting precious hours of his life watching TV or playing video games.

So go make something. Do something. Build a bookshelf or a birdhouse. Take your kid outside to help you fix the fence or trim the hedges. Drop a doughnut next to an anthill and see what happens. Take a walk through a cemetery. Carve a potato on the front porch. Or whip up a huge tub of homemade bubble solution and fashion a giant bubble wand out of a hula hoop. You get the idea.

Glimpse into the future

Back to those stilts: I say just do it. Don’t think about it. Don’t wait for just the right time. If you don’t have the right materials, go to your local home improvement center, buy some wood and get to work. You’ll be done before dinner.

And when your child does get that little height boost, suddenly your grade-schooler will be looking you right in the eye. That glimpse into the future makes the whole afternoon worthwhile.

Jay Payleitner is the author of several books on marriage and parenting, including the recently-released 52 Things Daughters Need From Their Dads: What fathers can do to build a lasting relationship.

Copyright © 2013 by Jay Payleitner. Used by permission.


Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.
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About the Author

Jay Payleitner

Jay Payleitner is a freelance writer, speaker, and radio producer. He’s also the former Executive Director for the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative and the author of eight books. Jay lives with his wife, Rita, in St. Charles, Ill. They have five adult children.