7 Easy Ways to Get Kids to Be More Polite

By Various Authors
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Learn how to teach your kids seven essential manners so they will grow in their social skills. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if a child’s first words were, “Thank you, Mama”? Unfortunately, polite children are not born; they are trained. Here are a few ways other parents have encouraged their children to grow in their social skills and learn better manners:

Say Please and Thank You

My children learned to say please and thank you through a
simple game. I wrote down requests that we would take turns presenting. A request might be to shake
another person’s hand. The child would say, “Austin, would you please shake my hand?” If the word
please was used, the request must be fulfilled, and the child scored one point. If he
remembered to say thank you, the child scored another point. The person with the most points won the
game. My kids quickly learned to use these words in everyday life.

—Susan Olubunmis

Close your lips when food is in your mouth

To remind our kids to chew with their mouths
closed, my husband and I created Dinner Table Olympics. We scored and tabulated “events” such as
Food Chewing and Talking With an Empty Mouth. After several days of events, we gave ribbons and
congratulations. It worked as a fun reminder.


Don’t interrupt

When my children want to talk with me while I’m speaking with someone
else or busy doing something, I’ve taught them to put their hand on my arm and quietly wait. Doing
this teaches my little ones not to interrupt, but it also shows them that I am genuinely interested
in what they have to say and want to listen to them.

—Evie Lynne Palmer

Knock on closed doors before entering

We told our kids at an early age that they must
knock before opening our closed bedroom door. In return, we showed them the same courtesy and
knocked on their closed doors before entering. This equal respect for privacy worked for our family.

—Mike and Diane Nocks as told to Savanna Kaiser

Understand appropriate behavior in unique social situations

When a friend’s husband died, I knew his funeral would be a new experience for my children. To prepare them:

  • We talked about what we would likely see at the funeral and what people would be doing.
  • I taught them to say, “I’m sorry for your loss” when expressing their sorrow to the widow.
  • Role-playing ahead of time enabled our children to know what to expect in a unique social situation,
    helping them eliminate fear of the unknown.

—Mary Jo Keller

Don’t pick your nose in public

“Here, Mama!” my 2-year-old said, proudly handing me a booger.

I handed her a tissue. “When you have boogers, get them out with this,” I instructed.

Sometimes, we have nose-blowing competitions to see who can get out the most
snot. This motivates her to practice blowing her nose.

—Rachel Peachey

Keep your hands to yourself

My parents’ favorite phrase when we walked into a store full
of delicates was, “Put your hands in your pockets.” This resulted in an immediate, concrete action
from my siblings and me. Now as the mother of two, I give this instruction to my own children. Even
when they don’t have pockets, the meaning is clear: Items here break easily. No touching.

—Dorcas Buckley


“Say Please and Thank You” is copyrighted © 2018 by Susan Olubunmis. “Close Your Lips When Food Is In Your Mouth” is copyrighted © 2018 by Valarie Schenk. “Don’t Interrupt” is copyrighted © 2018 by Evie Lynne Palmer. “Knock on Closed Doors Before Entering” is copyrighted © 2018 by Savanna Kaiser. “Understand Appropriate Behavior in Unique Social Situations” is copyrighted © 2018 by Mary Jo Keller. “Don’t Pick Your Nose in Public” is copyrighted © 2018 by Rachel Peachey. “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” is copyrighted © 2018 by Dorcas Buckley. Used by permission. “Say Please and Thank You,” “Close Your Lips When Food Is In Your Mouth,” “Don’t Interrupt,” “Knock on Closed Doors Before Entering,” “Understand Appropriate Behavior in Unique Social Situations,” “Don’t Pick Your Nose in Public” and “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” first appeared in the June/July 2018 issue of Focus on the Family magazine.


Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.
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