Getting Kids to Listen

Help your children learn to listen carefully. Here are some ideas for doing this from parents like you:

Practical Listening Skills

Four-year-old Charlie galloped down the hall on his stick horse, oblivious to my instructions.
Following him to his imaginary corral, I touched his shoulder and said, “Charlie, look at me.” While
he stared into my eyes, I slowly repeated my instructions: “In five minutes, you will put away your
horse so we can go to the store. Can you please repeat what I just said?”

Charlie looked startled and confused. He asked, “What?” It seemed he hadn’t heard any of it!

Charlie didn’t have a hearing problem, but he had difficulty concentrating on instructions that he
didn’t feel were important. Riding his stick horse trumped Mom’s talking.

Since both his safety and future relationships with teachers and employers would depend on better
listening skills, I crafted a plan to help him practice:

Tallies for tosses.

I carried a paper in my pocket to tally every time Charlie carried out my
instructions with an “OK, Mom.” When my husband came home, he lifted Charlie in a playful toss,
which Charlie loved — one toss for each and every successful “OK” of the day.

Playtime practice.

We played listening games such as Simon Says and Red Light, Green Light, and we
read storybooks out loud. In addition, we role-played school — which we called the Listen to the
Teacher game. Most important, we played Stop and Look at Mom. Whenever I called his name and he
stopped and looked at me, I affirmed his quick reaction.

Raising a good listener took time, but eventually Charlie did improve. Six years later, I stood on
the sideline of a soccer game watching Charlie play.

I yelled, “Go, Charlie!” as he dribbled past me toward the goal. To my surprise, Charlie instantly
stopped and looked at me. The sound of his mother’s voice had caught his attention — and ruined the
soccer play. Yet in that moment I realized that our hard work had paid off. Charlie had listened. Score!

—Rita Bergen

How Little Ears Hear

For infants, each day brings new discoveries. They learn about language long before they utter their
first word. The most influential teachers of language skills are a child’s parents. Many naturally
talk to their infants in a distinctive way that has been termed “infant-directed speech.” Infants —
from birth to 4 months — are most responsive and grow in their linguistic prowess when parents:

• speak slowly
• speak in short sentences with longer pauses
• use higher and variable pitches

—Dr. Lainna Callentine, member of Focus on the Family’s Physicians Resource Council