This can be a very specific circumstance with nuanced details. The first step in identifying babysitter abuse is looking for abnormal behavior, fears, or how your children respond.
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The simplest thing you can do is keep a close eye on your child’s behavior. How symptoms of abuse appear will depend on a child’s age and stage.
I understand that there is likely a lot of stress and worry around this type of situation. How you approach your children and what types of questions you ask will be critical in maintaining composure, providing support, and listening to your kids.
Here are a few things to keep in mind while you investigate a potential babysitter abuse situation with your children:
Younger children in the 4-8 age range tend to regress in terms of behavior when abuse occurs, such as thumb-sucking, bedwetting, and baby-talk.
With slightly older children, such as 9-12 years old, be aware of any signs of physical injury, especially in genital areas.
Older preteens or teens are likely more reluctant to open up about these situations. So, look for calm moments where you can ask questions in a comfortable environment.
With any age, be sure to ask open-ended questions and avoid yes/no questions. Avoid leading or manipulative questions such as “Has ___ ever done anything to you?”
You can explore a more thorough response to your question that covers several ages here. If you need guidance from a professional counselor, you can reach us here.
Dr. Huerta oversees Focus’ initiatives that equip mothers and fathers with biblical and research based principles and guidance for raising healthy, resilient children rooted in a thriving faith in Christ.
Dr. Huerta is a bilingual psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, author of 7 Traits of Effective Parenting, and co-author of Focus on the Family’s Age and Stage resource, and various other resources. He is also the co-host and expert on the Focus on Parenting and the Practice Makes Parent podcasts.
For many years, he has provided families with practical, biblically-based, and research-based parenting advice on key parenting topics. He has been interviewed by various media outlets including Fox News, Fatherly, Christianity Today, WORLD Magazine, The Christian Post and CBN, and regularly speaks on Christian radio stations and podcasts across the United States. He’s also written for various publications and is a regular speaker at retreats, conventions, family camps, online events worldwide, and on various social media channels.
Dr. Huerta has maintained a private practice serving families in Colorado Springs since 2003 and has also served families as an employee of Focus on the Family since 2004.
He and his wife, Heather, love the outdoors, have been married since 1997, and love spending time with their two adult children.
Nurturing is a complex process that is hard to describe. But with your inborn nature to nurture, your awareness of each of these four pillars, and God to guide you, you can use your gifts to nurture your children well.
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:4 (NIV) Tweet “A watched pot will never boil.” I remember hearing my
August 30, 2025
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