Read More About:
by...
Age & Stage
Age & Stage
June 10, 2026
Biblical fatherhood is being present — not perfect — and plays an incredibly essential role in your children’s emotional, relational, and spiritual development.
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
There will be a day when your children don’t reach for your hand anymore. But right now, they do. And what you do in these years, even the ordinary Tuesday and Wednesday moments, helps build things in them that will last their whole lifetime — things that can point them to a flourishing life in Christ. Biblical fatherhood invites you to invest in these moments with purpose.
Research and scripture agree: children with warm, involved fathers experience lower stress levels, stronger emotional regulation, and greater resilience over time. That kind of steady influence is one of the greatest gifts a dad can give, and the challenge worthy of his deepest ambitions is fatherhood. Truly, biblical fatherhood sets a strong example to follow.
Scripture affirms what research reveals. Fathers are called not simply to lead, but to do so with care and intention: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
It’s the heart of biblically based fatherhood, strength guided by love, authority shaped by relationship, and discipline rooted in connection. Biblical fatherhood requires this balance of strength and tenderness every day.
One longterm study found that girls who felt emotionally close to their fathers in adolescence were more likely to experience better mental health as adults.
Boys with caring, involved fathers had fewer emotional or behavioral challenges as they grew up. Healthy father involvement helps regulate stress in the emotional centers of a child’s brain. In other words, when your children feel safe with you, their brain and heart learn how to manage challenge, disappointment, and growth.
At church, I’ve loved watching a group of young dads holding their kids during praise and worship time. I remember doing that with my kids and when they were teens, I would still put my arms around them during praise and worship time.
The children being held by these young dads look completely at peace in the safety and presence of their fathers. Working through the fatigue and bicep cramps, these dads savor the opportunity to still hold their children. This simple and loving act not only provides a sense of safety for your kids but also can provide the picture of the security and peacefulness your children can have in relationship with their Heavenly Father. You get to stand between your family and the chaos of the world.
Your gentleness — strength under control — has a powerful effect on your child’s developing brain. Like gardeners, dads intentionally nurture growth, productivity, and health through their proper care and essential pruning. I Corinthians 4:1-2 says, “This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.”
A few years ago, my son was busy playing on his high school basketball team when a lot of school assignments and other pressures collided all at the same time. He had dish duty that night as part of his responsibilities, but I noticed he looked exhausted. As he started to the dishes late that evening, I came beside him and said, “Hey, I got it this time. I want to serve you. I’ll take dish duty for you. You clearly need some rest right now.”
The goal in our home is to create a culture of noticing and serving one another. Did we always succeed? No, but there was an intentional pursuit of that kind of culture in our home. Indeed, biblical fatherhood is about everyday faithfulness as much as major milestones.
Sometimes kids need a good listener or noticer. Other times they need a problem-solver to help them work through things. Your curiosity, discernment and direction to help them develop healthy problem-solving skills, which is something that will serve them throughout their life.
Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” In the original language, “train up” translates as “dedicate.” Few are more dedicated to a child’s well-being than a present and intentional dad. Your commitment to raise your son or daughter in Christ matters. The “way he should go” refers to a way of life. Our kids need guides in the practical and the profound areas of life. With focus, dads are great at providing meaningful and wise direction.
You may feel like you’re falling short or you may be running after the wrong priorities. You may have bought the lie that you aren’t equipped to be a spiritual leader in your home. Let me challenge that for a moment. Like every dad, you and I have made mistakes and experienced failures. As a result, we have grown, overcome challenges, faced down fears, and recovered from hurts. These experiences can become assets. Marked by God’s glory and redemptive love, they develop unique gifts and talents. Through biblical fatherhood, these lessons become a legacy in your family.
Take a moment to understand where your insecurities or doubts are coming from. Then, challenge the perceptions those bring. For example, you might be saying, “My kids don’t want to spend time with me. I’ve been working and sometimes I lose it because of the stress I’m in.” By asking for forgiveness, admitting where you are, and committing to a reset with gentleness and presence in the mix, you provide your kids with a great picture of a spiritual leader that represents God’s beautiful ministry of reconciliation and love.
Philosopher Dallas Willard famously said, “We don’t drift into discipleship.” Neither do our children. As you pursue a life in Christ, you are transformed, equipped, and ready to provide the guidance your children need.
There may be things you don’t know. Seek wisdom from the Lord, wise people around you, and through prayer. You may also want to take some time to pursue answers to the tough situations or questions with your child.
When your son or daughter faces a problem, step in as both a guide and a model to offer the spiritual direction they need to grow with confidence and faith.
It’s in you!
And remember, the most effective way to guide each of your kids into a lifetime of lasting faith is with your presence undergirded by a relationship in Christ Take time to read 2 Peter 1:3-4. Fatherhood is not about perfection.
Vice President, Parenting and Youth
Dr. Huerta oversees Focus’ initiatives that equip mothers and fathers with biblical and research based principles and guidance for raising healthy, resilient children rooted in a thriving faith in Christ.
Dr. Huerta is a bilingual psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, author of 7 Traits of Effective Parenting, and co-author of Focus on the Family’s Age and Stage resource, and various other resources. He is also the co-host and expert on the Focus on Parenting and the Practice Makes Parent podcasts.
For many years, he has provided families with practical, biblically-based, and research-based parenting advice on key parenting topics. He has been interviewed by various media outlets including Fox News, Fatherly, Christianity Today, WORLD Magazine, The Christian Post and CBN, and regularly speaks on Christian radio stations and podcasts across the United States. He’s also written for various publications and is a regular speaker at retreats, conventions, family camps, online events worldwide, and on various social media channels.
Dr. Huerta has maintained a private practice serving families in Colorado Springs since 2003 and has also served families as an employee of Focus on the Family since 2004.
He and his wife, Heather, love the outdoors, have been married since 1997, and love spending time with their two adult children.
Read More About: