Who am I?’ — Your Child’s Identity

By various authors
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

Help your children understand what it means to be a priceless creation of God, no matter their age or stage.

A healthy identity comes from understanding the truth about ourselves. Our deepest yearning is to understand where we came from and the purpose for which we were made. Sadly, many parents have no answers to these questions or neglect to give their children the confidence that comes from knowing God made them for a reason. So it’s vital that Dad and Mom teach their kids who they are and why they are here.

Who we are: The Scriptures say that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Our children need to realize that God created billions of individuals yet gave each one his or her own look, strengths, personality and potential. We can live in confidence that God doesn’t make junk and that every one of us is a unique masterpiece of His creative genius.

Why we are here: Our ultimate purpose is to love God and love other people. As Jesus put it, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ ” (Matthew 22:37-39).

Below, you will find age-appropriate activities and discussion questions that help your children understand what it means to be a priceless creation of God. No matter their age or stage, your children can know the One who is love and who created them to love.

— Kurt Bruner

Key Points

  • Our identity and purpose come from God.
  • We are a masterpiece of God’s creativity.
  • God made us to love Him and reflect who He is.

Preschool Activity

Have a contest to see who can create the best family pet. Give everyone Play-Doh and set a timer. Keep your children working by talking about what you’re observing. When the timer rings, let your children show what they have made and tell about their creations. Make encouraging comments, such as how carefully they worked on their creatures. But then ask each child, “Why isn’t your pet alive?”

Remind your family that God is the only one who can give life to something or someone, and everything God makes is carefully and beautifully created. Explain that God knew what He was doing when He formed your child. Therefore, your child was carefully and beautifully made. Explain the words carefully (not hurried or sloppy) and beautifully (it makes your heart happy and not sad). Then plan to use those words frequently in the days ahead.

— D’Arcy Maher

School-age Activity

Have your child close his eyes as you apply several dots of color to his face using washable markers or eyeliner pencils. Put away the markers and ask him to tell you what colors are on his face and where. Of course, he can’t, but it’ll be fun watching him try. Now, place him in front of a mirror and ask him to tell you what colors he sees.

Explain to your child that we cannot see our own face; we can only see a reflection of what we look like. This is called an image. When God made us, He made an image, or reflection of himself. We’re different than any of God’s other creations because we alone are made like Him.

When we look in a mirror, we see a reflection of ourselves. The mirror shows us who we are on the outside, but God made us to be a reflection of His nature and image on the inside.

Because of this, He wants us to imitate who He is to others. Although a mirror reflects our physical image, when we love others we reflect who God is. In this way, others see one part of His character through us. The more we love God and other people, the more we are a true reflection of Him.

— Renee Gray-Wilburn

Tween Activity

King David loved God with his whole heart. Did David make mistakes? Yep. Did some of his choices hurt the people around him? Oh yeah. But God had big plans for David. From the time he was a child, David was uniquely gifted to accomplish God’s purpose for his life. As a family, watch the video clip by Igniter Media about Psalm 139, which David wrote. You can find it by visiting ignitermedia.com and typing “Psalm 139” in the search box. Follow along in your Bible as the video plays.

God formed your tweens with special talents, abilities and personality traits. He knows your children intimately and has a great plan for their lives. When the video’s over, ask these questions:

  • God knows our words and thoughts. How does that make you feel?
  • God created you with unique talents and gifts. What are some of those talents? How can you use those gifts to spread God’s love?
  • What are some ways you can thank God for creating you so wonderfully? (Consider: What are some of the wonderful ways in which God created you that you can give God thanks for?)

— Jesse Florea

Talk With Your Teen

A problem I see in many young lives is the struggle to find identity, recognize one’s worth in God’s eyes and understand the extent of His love.

I am reminded of my childhood friend. I lost contact with him after moving to the States. Years later, a mutual Aussie friend told me that our friend had fallen away from God and had been abusing drugs. My childhood friend had lost the concept of who he was and what God intended for his life. I was deeply saddened.

What can parents do to help? The most important communication you, as a parent, can have with your teen is to speak the simple truth: Your teen is extravagantly loved by God! Then affirm your teen by discussing the following:

  1. “In what ways did God make you unique? What personal strengths would you like to hone, and which areas of your life would you like to improve?”
  2. Just as my friend lost his understanding of his purpose, many teens search for identity and love in the wrong areas. “In what ways do you see your peers seeking acceptance?”
  3. Read Ephesians 5:1-2 together. Then look up the word imitate in a dictionary. “Imitating God means to live a life of love. What qualities of God’s love do you see imitated in our family? What qualities of God’s love do you imitate in your friendships?”
  4. “Do you really believe God loves you and created you for an amazing purpose? What can you do this week that will reflect His love toward others and your confidence in His plan for your life?”
  5. “How can I pray for you?”

— Rebecca St. James

Dinner Talk

Dani’s mother would drag her to thrift stores and antique shops in search of collectibles and other treasures. Whenever her mom would look at a price tag, she would ask Dani, “And what are you worth?”

Well trained by the ritual, Dani would respond, “I’m priceless because God made me.”

Through everyday conversations, you can instill a healthy spiritual identity in your children by reinforcing that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Valuing God’s workmanship is foundational to a child’s healthy self-image.

Ask your kids the following questions:

  • When do you feel that you’re not worth as much as others?
  • How do your friends show they value you?
  • If you were on display at a collectibles show, how would you describe yourself? (Listen and then read Genesis 1:27 together.)
  • How does God assign value to you since you’re made in His image?
  • What can I do to help you feel valued at home?

Together make a list of the ways your child was “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Then during the week, affirm your child’s gifts and personality traits.

— Marianne Hering

This article first appeared in the May/June 2010 issue of Thriving Family magazine and was titled “Who Am I?”

Introduction Copyright © 2010 by Kurt Bruner; Preschool Activity Copyright © 2010 by D’Arcy Maher; School-Age Activity Copyright © 2010 by Renee Gray-Wilburn; Tween Activity Copyright © 2010 by Focus on the Family; Talk With Your Teen Copyright © 2010 by Rebecca St. James; and Dinner Talk Copyright © 2010 by Marianne Hering. Used by permission.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

About the Author

various authors

This article is a compilation of articles written by various authors. The author names are found within the article.

You May Also Like

Thank you [field id="first_name"] for signing up to get the free downloads of the Marrying Well Guides. 

Click the image below to access your guide and learn about the counter-cultural, biblical concepts of intentionality, purity, community and Christian compatibility.

(For best results use IE 8 or higher, Firefox, Chrome or Safari)

To stay up-to-date with the latest from Boundless, sign up for our free weekly e-newsletter.

If you have any comments or questions about the information included in the Guide, please send them to [email protected]

Click here to return to Boundless

Focus on the Family

Thank you for submitting this form. You will hear from us soon. 

The Daily Citizen

The Daily Citizen from Focus on the Family exists to be your most trustworthy news source. Our team of analysts is devoted to giving you timely and relevant analysis of current events and cultural trends – all from a biblical worldview – so that you can be inspired and assured that the information you share with others comes from a reliable source.

Alive to Thrive is a biblical guide to preventing teen suicide. Anyone who interacts with teens can learn how to help prevent suicidal thinking through sound practical and clinical advice, and more importantly, biblical principles that will provide a young person with hope in Christ.

Bring Your Bible to School Day Logo Lockup with the Words Beneath

Every year on Bring Your Bible to School Day, students across the nation celebrate religious freedom and share God’s love with their friends. This event is designed to empower students to express their belief in the truth of God’s Word–and to do so in a respectful way that demonstrates the love of Christ.

Focus on the Family’s® Foster Care and Adoption program focuses on two main areas:

  • Wait No More events, which educate and empower families to help waiting kids in foster care

  • Post-placement resources for foster and adoptive families

Christian Counselors Network

Find Christian Counselors, Marriage & Family Therapists, Psychologists, Social Workers and Psychiatrists near you! Search by location, name or specialty to find professionals in Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselors Network who are eager to assist you.

Boundless is a Focus on the Family community for Christian young adults who want to pursue faith, relationships and adulthood with confidence and joy.

Through reviews, articles and discussions, Plugged In exists to shine a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving you and your family the essential tools you need to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which we live.

Have you been looking for a way to build your child’s faith in a fun and exciting way?
Adventures in Odyssey® audio dramas will do just that. Through original audio stories brought to life by actors who make you feel like part of the experience; these fictional, character-building dramas use storytelling to teach lasting truths.

Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored all-inclusive intensives offer marriage counseling for couples who are facing an extreme crisis in their marriage, and who may even feel they are headed for divorce.