Know your kids and their passions
Recognize how your kids’ strengths and interests are constantly developing and changing. What is important to them and worth persevering through? What dreams and goals do they have for the future? How will learning new skills and knowledge be a part of those goals?
Don’t let your kids get to high school before they can connect their studies with their personal passions. Start early by helping your children connect schoolwork to their individual interests. When your kids have to write reports or do projects, help them choose topics of interest to them so they’ll be far more motivated for that assignment. This helps to continue fueling competence in schoolwork and presents an ongoing motivation to learn new things, even if some of the material isn’t quite as interesting. Learning is not just important in school. Learning also matters in jobs, hobbies, friendships and family relationships. The belief in life-long learning—that growth and improvement are always possible—is absolutely critical for young people to develop a vision for their future. Make sure to model this.
, even if some of the material isn’t quite as interesting. Learning is not just important in school. Learning also matters in jobs, hobbies, friendships and family relationships. The belief in life-long learning—that growth and improvement are always possible—is absolutely critical for young people to develop a vision for their future. Make sure to model this.
Creating a roadmap for the future
Have frequent conversations with your children about how you each view the future. If you’ve talked pessimistically about the future, apologize. Likewise, if your kids have expressed negative views, try to determine the source of the negativity and talk about what’s real and accurate.
Through many ongoing conversations, craft vision statements together for life changes and milestones. Help your children realize that their future can be bright when they know who they are and they apply themselves. Character always matters.
Share your vision with children’s teachers, pastors and counselors. Getting them on the same page is always important. This is especially valuable when children have special needs. Sharing gives children a great jumpstart on each new season of their lives.
Friends of mine write a vision statement for their son each year. Their confidence in him and his future encourages me and makes it more likely he will grow up believing in himself and his future.
Here is one of their vision statements for their precious son with Down syndrome:
Our son is more like his peers than he is different. So he will learn to do everything his typical peers can do; it just might take a bit longer. Our goal for him this year is to become acclimated with the learning environment and to grow to love it. We want him to work on developing relationships with his peers and to learn appropriate behaviors for social settings. Our long-term goals for our son are for him to be happy and to learn to be an independent adult who contributes to the community in which he lives.
There are many benefits when parents believe in their children’s future and advocate for it with others.
Looking ahead
Most young people today are multitalented, multi-passionate and multi-interested. So old questions like “What do you want to do when you grow up?” and “What do you want to major in at college?” are not effective ways to motivate them toward the future. Try these questions instead:
What problems do you want to help solve?
With today’s ever-present media and technology, children are more exposed to the world’s brokenness and are often interested in solving problems. Knowing what they care about can help you create a vision for their future. You’ll be able to implement activities and lessons that nurture the belief that learning matters. So seeing how problem-solving can leave the world a better place deepens children’s understanding of their own value and gives them hope for their future.
Who would you like to serve?
People matter to children, so asking about serving specific people groups can elicit meaningful responses to help you plug in to their interests and concerns. This makes learning more personally relevant so children are more likely to be teachable and engaged.
What makes you sad? What brings you joy?
Getting children to talk about their heart’s responses to difficult situations can help you show them how they can use their skills to make a difference. In a similar way, knowing causes of joy can help children determine how they want to invest themselves. So choosing tasks and causes they care about motivates them even when learning is challenging.
How do you want to live?
I recently met a young man who was interested in serving others. He said he didn’t value material things. He’d already decided to travel and serve where he could when he was young, not being tied down to family or possessions. At the same time, I talked with someone else who had placed a high value on his own education because of its relevance to how he wants to leave the world a better place. Both were honorable goals that will inform current and future decision making. Knowing how your children answer this question will influence how you guide them.
Knowing your children—their values, confidence level, strengths, interests and goals—helps you more effectively fuel their motivation. You are affecting their future!
Dr. Kathy Koch is the president of Celebrate Kids. She is also a popular speaker and the author of six books including Start with the Heart.