Marriages and families are in trouble after the challenges of last year.
If it's not too much to ask, would you help equip these families with the resources they need to put Jesus at the center of their home?
Yes, I will help struggling families!
$

Hope for Children of Single Parents

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Illustration of a mom reading while her kids play with dad
Lorraine Tuson

How do you respond when someone asks you, "What about the children?"

Just as I was beginning my experience as a single mom, a well-meaning person asked, “What about the children?” Honestly, the guilt I was already facing as I processed my recent divorce seemed unbearable, so to have someone ask me such a difficult question just about put me through the floor. It seemed like she was asking, “Aren’t the children now doomed to fail in life and become petty criminals?”

Of all my single-parent struggles, what I hated most was the suffering my children would face, as the four of them became “kids from a broken home.”

Not really knowing how to respond, and feeling the embarrassment of my family’s brokenness, I looked at the lady and said, “I don’t know. But here’s the only thing I do know — my children are covered by the blood of Jesus.”

She wasn’t alone. Others quoted discouraging statistics for kids of divorce and recommended books about the failures of adult children who come from broken homes. But in my heart, I kept reminding myself, God has to be bigger than the world’s statistics. I am certain He is the God who holds our futures, and He must be able to heal the brokenness in my children.

It has now been 10 years, and I have lived almost eight of them as a single mom. This is what I can tell you about my children: They are still covered by the blood of Jesus, and they are becoming really great people who love and serve God.

Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned about keeping my single-parent home focused on Jesus and His love for us:

Children follow

It was my job as their parent to lead; I had to lead them on a journey of forgiveness and healing. I learned that my kids followed the example of my attitudes and choices, so I had to lead with integrity, laying down any inclination toward bitterness, learning to live with love and a positive outlook.

Children need 

My kids needed me to parent them from my fullness, not from a bitter emptiness. But there were so many empty and lonely days when I felt paralyzed by pain and insecurity. I realized that I had a responsibility to my kids to pursue spiritual and emotional healing for myself.

Children heal

In the years since my divorce, my four children have suffered many wounds — from the labels they’ve worn, the words they’ve heard and the painful events that have transpired. Not one of them has been immune to heartache. But God has come with healing for each child, and what’s been broken is being put back together.

Children believe

I learned quickly that my kids believed what I told them about our future. When I told them we were going to be OK because we belonged to God and then lived like that, they believed me. God gave me the privilege of teaching them to trust in His faithfulness. I would pray for our needs and point out every blessing. The kids began to see God at work in their lives.

When my 12-year-old son, William, came home from school and told me that his friend’s parents were getting a divorce, I asked, “How’s he doing?”

“OK, I guess. He seems afraid,” William answered.

“Baby, you are the best friend God could send to him right now. You’ve walked where he’s walking. You could tell him about God taking care of us and give him a lot of hope. …”

“Mom,” he interrupted, “I’m already doing that. He says it really helps to be my friend.”

What a joy to know my son is giving to others what God has given to him.

Now when I think back to the question, “What about the children?” I wish I could go back and tell that lady, “God keeps His promises! He has been our rescuer, healer, protector, redeemer and friend. I know my children’s future is decided by God, not by the world’s statistics.”

Listen to this Focus on the Family broadcast, Part 1 and Part 2: Elsa Kok Colopy speaks from her years as a single mom to offer sound advice and encouragement for single parents.

Angela Thomas is the best-selling author of My Single Mom Life. She lives in North Carolina with her family.

Dynamic CTA Template Below

Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
Raising Your Kids to Defend the Faith (1)

Raising Your Kids to Defend Their Faith

“Raising Your Kids to Defend Their Faith” is a series of five short videos, created to get you started in teaching your kids the fundamentals of Christianity, so they can understand it, explain it, and defend it.
Book Cover: Aftershock A Plan for Recovery

Aftershock: Overcoming His Secret Life with Pornography: A Plan for Recovery

This book is for women who have discovered their husband’s struggle with pornography and other sexual infidelities. Based on biblical principles and psychologically sound advice, Aftershock is designed to help women heal, grow, and receive restoration for themselves, their husbands, and their marriages.
Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

About the Author

You May Also Like