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How Do You Respond to Your Child’s Suspected Porn Use?

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Knowing how to respond to your young teen's porn use can be overwhelming. Learn how to approach them with grace, patience, and understanding.

There have been countless times I’ve had to respond to a parent’s pleas for help after they have just discovered their child has viewed pornography.  They say, “What do I do?” “How do I confront my daughter?” “How do I talk to my son about this?”  

I can still recall a desperate phone call from a mom and dad who had discovered their 9-year-old daughter had been secretly accessing pornographic sites on the computer.  They thought it was just a boy thing and that a 9 year old wouldn’t be interested.  It turns out she accidentally opened an ad that had popped up and continued to seek it out from that point on.  The same scenario has happened to too many parents.  

First, don’t panic and spend some time praying!  I know that’s easy to say, but difficult to do.  How can parents not panic?   I get it.  First of all, I have two teens and sexual culture is searching for their attention just like it is any other child.  God designed our mind, body and spirit to respond to sex.  I wish their sexual curiosities would remain silent and just magically appear when they get married.  Wouldn’t that be nice.  God wants us to enjoy sex and wants us to have freedom and your children need to see that and not be lured into an illusion.

I have worked with boys and girls entangled in the grips of pornography and obsessive sexual fantasizing.  Let me reassure you they are able to find freedom, especially when God is at the center of the transformation.  He is the author of sex and wants us to freely enjoy the real deal.  That last thing he wants is for us to get drawn into a counterfeit illusion that leaves a person thirsty, empty and loveless.   

Kids initially need grace, then boundaries, intentional conversations about love, respect and gratitude.  Kids will also benefit from learning how to wisely adapt to a consumer-driven, sexually consuming culture.  In essence, they will need for you to model the 7 Traits of an Effective Parent.    

If grace is the first step, what is it?  It means approaching the situation with understanding and love.  Boys and girls are desperately searching to belong, to be loved, to have worth, to feel normal, to feel they are good at something and to be wanted.  That is the undertow that pornography and sexual fantasies are working off of.

Although first exposure to pornography, sexual images and fantasy are happening earlier and earlier in a person’s life, teens are usually the ones more frequently showing an addiction and a denial that it’s even a problem.   

What Denial Tells Us

During adolescence, a developing brain easily falls prey to pornography. In fact, over time, viewing sexually explicit images can actually alter brain tissue and an individual’s personality. Dishonesty — with self or others—is one of the first signs the brain is changing.

Though users seldom realize it, porn destroys their sincerity.  Let me give you an example.  A young man I worked with said he had difficulty connecting and talking with attractive women, but no difficulty talking and connecting with unattractive women.  He noticed that his pornography use caused him to only care about what a woman could provide for him.  He cared a lot about the attractive women, because he wanted to have sex with them even if they were strangers.  He did not care about unattractive women and could care less about what they thought. 

Another example involves a young woman who had multiple boys she would exchange sexual pictures with.  She said she didn’t care about any of them, but that they made her feel good and would get her whatever she wanted.   She expected boys to do things for her and had no concern for their well-being.

Porn use drives a wedge into a teen’s psyche, separating him or her from the person he or she used to be and the person he or she wants to become. It entraps him or her in an ongoing cover-up. Over time, it develops into full-blown denial.

Look at the Biblical account of David’s pursuit of Bathsheeba (II Samuel 11).  He was in complete denial and blindness.  Nathan had to use a parable to wake him up.

Denial takes many forms and can be a part of many people’s perceptions. There was a young couple living with each other.  They could not understand what the problem was in their relationship.  She had a subscriber only pornographic webcam service she provided her viewers and would perform as a stripper.  He loved having more people in their sexual experiences besides just his live-in girlfriend.  There is more to the story, but I need to go no further.  The denial is completely clear here.  We can see it, but both of them could not.  They could not see why they felt depressed, empty, love less and hopeless?

Whatever shape it takes, denial is always a technique for rationalizing destructive behavior. And it always postpones necessary treatment.

Confront denial with grace and truth

The first step toward a child’s freedom is to confront the denial, help him face the truth and together establish a positive path forward from a Biblical perspective. With truth and grace, explain some of the following talking points:

  • Pornography is not just naked pictures.  It can start with an underwear advertisement on television or the newspaper.  It can also begin with a friend telling sexual jokes, a sexual fantasy novel, peers talking about sex, a sexually suggestive video online or through a scene in a movie.  Read Proverbs together.  Proverbs 31 is about being married to wisdom.  Look at the pronoun shift in Proverbs 31:23 – that is the person who marries wisdom. 
  • God has given us a brain that can change and be changed.  Pornography literally rewires the brain, desensitizing him and altering his personality.
  • God clearly wants us to experience pleasure. Humans are wired to respond to pleasure. In fact, reward pathway experiences become deeply etched in the tissues of the brain.  Read Genesis 1 -2.  God wants great things for us!   
  • Choices create direction.  It’s nearly impossible to erase sexually explicit images from the brain. It wants more and more.  I tell my kids and clients that you cannot press “erase” in your brain.  The pleasure and reward circuitry in your brain responds to what you choose to look at.  It relies on you being the decision-maker of what you take in and provides the experience in response to it. Read about the life of Solomon, Ruth, Samson and Daniel.  Choices made a lot of difference in how their stories played out.     
  • Freedom is lost, not gained when pornography is present.  A porn user begins to lose his first freedom—the ability to think—because the chemical brain reactions take over. The person becomes consumed by needing to consume and becomes hyper focused on themselves and their need for pleasure or the next “hit.”  Pornography does not make you more grown up, it actually stunts maturity. 
  • True steadfast love takes training, practice and a grateful heart. Porn addiction diminishes the likelihood of successful relationships, including a future healthy marriage.  It removes the motivation toward the steadfast love God models and then explains in I Corinthians 13. 
  • Pornography creates demands and thirst.  Porn users develop a perception that sex is a “right” rather than an opportunity for bonding in love. The result: ingratitude for the gift of sex and endless dissatisfaction, comparisons, and demands.  Review Proverbs, especially Proverbs 1 – 8. 
  • God says in Romans 12:9, “Let love be genuine…”.  Pornography use creates a mind shift in which users become consumers of people instead of developing genuine, sincere relationships.

What If That Was Your Sister?

The young man I mentioned earlier that only responded to attractive women had an ongoing sexual hunger, wanted to get married someday, loved his sister and mom, had been a Christian for several years and wanted freedom from the grip of pornography and a good relationship with God.  As the deception of pornography became his reality, he increasingly pushed away God and people.  He felt increasingly depressed.

What opened his eyes? The thought of others viewing his mother or sister in a similar way.

He made the decision to love and care for women by learning to have self-control.  We discussed how men and women ironically find the best expression of themselves when they learn to master self-control.  This is what God has been telling us all along.  He wants us to be free to be ourselves, so he continually tells us to be sober minded and self-controlled.  This young man wanted to find love like many other young men and women entangled in sexual perversion, sin and fantasy, but was having difficulty managing his own sexual desires.  Self-control is difficult.  It takes practice.  It takes pursuing a goal.  As a person practices, self-control becomes more natural and common place.

This young man worked toward genuinely caring about women he spoke with. As he pursued an honest relationship with others and God, pornography became less and less alluring and more sickening to him. In the times when he isolated himself from God and people, he felt vulnerable to the lure of pornography, moody and depressed.  God repeatedly tells us that we can find true peace through a relationship with Him and reassurance through his statues and commandments (Psalm 119).

Intervention is a Family Affair

Healing begins when your child decides to grapple with his or her pornography use and the reason he or she pursued it in the first place.  An angry confrontation doesn’t help.  This is about trying to understand what they were looking for or what they are struggling with.  Are they having difficulty managing arousal, stress, depression, curiosity or peer pressure?  What are they running away from?  What feeling are they trying to numb?

Change, growth and healing are most effective and lasting when they include contributions from a trusted support system, which could include family, friends, pastors and/or counselors.

In a study from 2017 published in the North American Journal of Psychology, researchers found that teens with the following two ingredients were less likely to use the internet in self-destructive or problematic ways.

  • A strong faith
  • A strong attachment to their parents

Let your child know you love him or her and want freedom for him or her.  You want him or her to experience the depths and fullness of attachment, love and connection. A strong faith would mean involvement with peers and their own personal Spiritual growth through prayer and Scripture reading.  You can model a strong faith and relationship with God.  I like to apply the following phrase in my own life and recommend it to parents I work with as we consider faith, “I act as if I believe… about God”  

What kinds of activities do you do as a family?  Do you spend time together?  Are you able to put distractions aside and go for hikes, play board games together, have meals together, laugh together and conquer chores around the house together?  I recommend using the Five Love Languages information to learn more about the unique ways we take in and communicate love with one another.

Check Your Emotions Before You Talk

In talking with your child, remember freedom from pornography’s slavery is your objective. You may be filled with anger and fear, but letting it interfere with the conversation will make things worse.  Some parents explode and some go toward extreme reactions.  The tendency is to go to defense, but the best goal now is to have open conversations about healthy sexuality and why it’s important.  This is a conversation you’ll want to prepare for, and as you do, keep these things in mind:

Dos

  • Ask questions to understand what is going on and what has driven the desire for this.
  • Assure your child that you are on their side and want the very best for them, which includes filters on the devices and limits.  Read and discuss Psalm 119.
  • Talk openly about healthy sexuality and set a vision toward great sex in marriage.
  • Pray with them for their freedom to love and have clear vision to be able to find and love a spouse, if that is in their future.
  • Help them see the beauty of restoration – Read Psalm 51 when David was going through a period of restoration in his soul.
  • Help them see that this is only one component of three major parts of a loving relationship.  The three components are commitment, passion and intimacy.  Passion is usually the first and easiest.
  • Help your child understand that God created attraction for relationship and not consumption.  One gives life and the other takes life.

Don’t

  • Panic – God does amazing work in people’s brokenness and imperfections.  He does amazing things with a contrite heart.  This could be an amazing turning point and opportunity for growth and maturity. 
  • Lecture – This is about understanding and guidance.  The goal is relationship growth with your child.  It is time to pursue conversations about healthy and satisfying sexuality, relationship, empathy, compassion and connection.
  • Shame – Sometimes out of fear, we want to go to statistics and scare tactics to make a person stop.  Your child needs reassurance, limits, someone that will understand and listen and guidance.  They need to know this is not about control or being a bad person.  There is much more at stake.  Not knowing love at its depths causes us to miss out on God.  The more pornography becomes a reality, the more God becomes an illusion and afterthought.  God is love.  He is the author of love and wants us to experience the fullness of love.  
  • Raise your voice or scream– Anger does not help.  It creates more isolation and disconnection.  Yelling creates more stress during a time your child needs connection, direction, understanding and clarity.  Help them see with empathy.  This will first take modeling on your part.  Explain to them that the people participating in pornography are also God’s children and are mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, brothers, sisters.  They are human and many are forced into this industry.  Many of them struggle with depression and need prayer and love.  They are empty and performing for money, survival or acceptance. 

Moving Forward

Read Isaiah 26 together and discuss what it means to have perfect peace.  Is there peacefulness in the world of pornography?  Why did Job in Job 33 make a covenant with his eyes?  There wasn’t internet then, so what does that tell us about the wiring of our minds? 

Passion and attraction are an important component of a romantic love, but can be destroyed over time by the illusion and distraction of pornography making commitment one of the only things that may keep a marriage together. Marriage gets its fuel from having all three – passion, commitment and intimacy working on all cylinders with God at the core.   

I consistently hear people in their 20s tell me that they are not getting married or delaying getting married out of fear of getting a divorce. They live together and assume it will keep them from being hurt. This is the consumer mindset culture has created.  Let me test drive it and see if I like it. The economy of love requires the sweat and risk of commitment, the intentionality and humility in intimacy mixed with the focused, faithful and directed passion. That is the recipe your child can work towards to find deep connection.

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You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!