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Your Child’s Adoption Life Story

Why children who have been adopted need to know their story — and how to tell it

Kevin, a tall, handsome adolescent with a winning smile and matching personality, always looked forward to family Thanksgiving gatherings. It was a time when his home overflowed with people, noise and food for three days. This year was not going to be any different — or so he thought. However, by the end of Thanksgiving weekend, Kevin’s realization of who he is and the circumstances surrounding his adoption would be forever changed.

Kevin had always known he was adopted. When he was 18 months old, he had entered foster care because his mother had died from an undisclosed illness and his father, in distress, left Kevin with a neighbor and never came back. He was adopted by his foster parents a year later, the youngest of three children in the family.

Late Thanksgiving evening, Kevin and his cousin were playing Ping-Pong in the basement. He stood shell-shocked as his cousin told him the truth about his birth parents. Kevin’s mother did not die from an undisclosed illness. She died a drug addict and his father did not leave, at least not voluntarily; he was in prison.

Kevin was devastated by the words of his cousin and broken by what he felt was his parents’ betrayal, though he never mentioned it to them. Before long, he began to withdraw from them and become increasingly angry and sullen. His parents were dumbfounded. What was going on? Was it a problem with school? With friends? No, Kevin was angry because he was hurt knowing that his parents had kept important information from him. Why did they not tell him the truth about his birth parents?

So much damage can be done when the truth is concealed — even if it’s an attempt to protect someone’s feelings. This Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Parent “bonus” chapter explores sharing an adopted child’s story with him — the whole truth. We will examine the power of keeping secrets, why children need to know their story, five principles to follow in telling the story, a practical tool for telling the story, and God’s message about your child’s life story.

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Entertainment Reviews Your Family Can Trust

Plugged In shines a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving families the essential tools they need to understand, navigate, and impact the culture in which they live. Let us help your family make wise and informed choices about movies, TV shows, music, video games, and more!
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If you need further guidance and encouragement, Focus on the Family has a staff of licensed, professional counselors who offer a one-time complimentary consultation from a Christian perspective. They can also refer you to counselors in your area for ongoing assistance.
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Understand How to Respect and Love Your Son Well

"Why doesn’t my son listen to me?" Have you ever asked yourself that? The truth is, how you view your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. We’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Focus on Parenting Podcast

Mom or dad, could you use some encouragement and support? Put your ear buds in for this Christian parenting podcast and get practical, faith-based inspiration through all stages of parenting. Hosted by Dr. Danny Huerta, in every 8 to 15 minute episode, you’ll hear parenting experts share Biblical truths, effective parenting techniques, and useful resources that will help you feel equipped as a mom or dad in today’s culture.
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Learn How to Speak Your Strong-Willed Child's Language

In this free 6-part video series, Cynthia Tobias, author of many popular parenting books including You Can’t Make Me, explains why your strong-willed child thinks in certain ways and gives you effective tools you can use when communicating with him or her. Start today!

Get Equipped With the Truth So
You Can Bring Light to the Lies

Abortion is not an easy subject to talk about. You want to defend the truth, to expose the realities so easily confused during these times. Yet, it is so easy to tense up, to get nervous, to get so concerned with wanting to say the “right thing” that you end up saying nothing at all. If you feel at a loss when these conversations come up, this video series, “8 Lies About Abortion,” can help equip you with the truth, and the confidence to engage in the discussion.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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