Start the conversation about human sexuality on a godly note by answering a young child’s first questions about human sexuality.
When it comes to conversations about where babies come from, I’m sure we all have a funny story to share. A few years ago, my daughters and I were strolling around Grandpa’s farm. We inspected the delicate blossoms on the apple trees, picked some dandelions and touched the tiny blades of wheat just poking through the ground.
We also walked down to the pasture to watch the cattle graze. I was explaining something to the girls when I heard one of my daughters say, “Papa, look! Those cows are stacking.”
I chuckled, knowing that my daughter had no idea what was actually happening. In her mind, the cattle were playing. Still, the occasion allowed me to begin to explain the beauty of God’s design to my children.
When my daughters saw the cows, I wasn’t explicit in my description or answer. I simply shared that both the bull and the cow were needed to make those delightful little calves frolicking in the grass. From there, I explained how the same is true for human families. We talked about the unique and important roles men and women play when it comes to creating a family.
Young children don’t need to know all the details. They do need to understand that men and women play essential but different roles in God’s plan for new life. This can be as simple as saying that daddies make mommies pregnant and mommies have babies.
Before my son was born, I had four chattering little girls in the house. Sometimes they would get confused and call me Mama. This was an opportunity for me to explain to them how I was different from Mama, but how both of us loved them and helped to bring them into the world.
They understood pregnancy. It was easy because as Mama was pregnant they were able to watch her belly grow during pregnancy. Then, they met their new brother after he was born. They were less sure about how Papa helped make the baby.
We talked about the sperm and egg joining together, but waited until they were older to explain how it all worked. “The Talk” isn’t a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing discussion between children and parents that can begin when they’re very young and set the stage for a biblical understanding of sex.
If you are a single parent, be prepared for challenging but innocent questions about a missing parent. See your child’s questions as opportunities to talk about life in a fallen world and our need for a Savior. All parents should readily acknowledge their insufficiencies and point children back to their heavenly Father, who loves them with an everlasting love.
I’ve discovered that parenting is full of challenging conversations with my children. And teaching them about sex can feel awkward. Especially the question: Where do babies come from? Yet, there’s no one right time or one right way to begin these discussions. So I have tried to embrace each moment I get to teach my children a godly perspective on human sexuality.
In the younger ages and stages, basic is best. When talking with your kids about where babies come from, focus on their level of understanding. Discern what your kids are able to understand. Then, decide how you can use age-appropriate language and examples in your conversations. Here is what you can cover about this topic:
Talk to your children about God’s beautiful plan for humans. Discuss His formation of the first family—Adam and Eve—and how it was good. Even though much in life falls short of God’s design, teach about God’s ideal and emphasize His grace and forgiveness.
God gave men and women different bodies that work together to create a baby. Talk about the gift of being able to help create a new life.
God made women’s bodies to protect and nurture a developing baby. Emphasize the joy and beauty connected with caring for a baby in the womb. Read Psalm 139:13-14 together and talk about how God’s care for humans begins in the womb.
Our culture challenges the most basic foundations of family and human life. Help your child understand God’s design and the value of both men and women in creating and nurturing a child.
Gather resources that show how different animal parents take care of their young. You can use children’s books or movies to help facilitate the conversation. Talk about how both the animal mommies and daddies are needed to create the baby and their roles in caring for their young.
Next, talk about human mommies and daddies. Reinforce that it takes both a daddy and a mommy to have a baby. Then, spend some time drawing pictures with your child that show different stages of your family. Drawings could depict Mommy and Daddy getting married, Mommy with a baby bump, Mommy and Daddy bringing a baby home from the hospital and a family picture with multiple children. Talk about some of the ways moms and dads care for their children.
For young children, the world is brimming with wonder. They may find the story of babies being delivered by storks just as believable as the reality of God using mommies and daddies to create new life. But teaching them the truth about where babies come from can set a firm foundation you can build upon throughout their childhood.
“Where do babies come from?” For some parents, it’s a question that you might never feel ready to answer. It might feel awkward. And that’s okay. But remember that your child is exploring the world for the first time. Your children don’t always feel shame or embarrassment in the same way as you.
Approach these conversations with grace, understanding, and patience. Use age-appropriate language and examples with your children. Use their questions to guide the conversation as well. You know your child best. Prioritize honesty to help your child develop a strong foundation for their healthy sexual development surrounding topics like pregnancy, sex, and puberty.
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For Christian families, there’s an overwhelming importance upon understanding the roles of female and male. However, our culture emphasizes different aspects of these roles from Christianity. In the Christian context, the origin point for this conversation lies at the beginning: the creation of woman and man.
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