Help Her Be Brave: Pro Tips When Facing An Unexpected Pregnancy

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Help her be brave picture of pink rocket ship flying to the sun leaving others behind
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Being brave can feel uncomfortable, but you won’t regret it when facing an unexpected pregnancy.

Working with women all over the nation facing unexpected pregnancies, the common challenge that many have is finding their courage. Being brave looks different for many women. It could mean you need to find your brave to tell your parents or find your brave to reach out to someone and ask for help, or maybe it even means being brave and choosing life. This can be uncomfortable, but you won’t regret being brave. 

Being brave: my story

When I was 19, I was pregnant and unmarried. The shame and guilt that I felt were crippling.

Growing up in church, I knew to save sex until marriage, but I still messed up. My boyfriend and I loved each other so much, but we had begun looking to each other for validation instead of to God. 

I believed abortion was wrong. Even as a child, I would prayerfully march outside abortion clinics with my family. If anyone ever asked me about that topic, I would adamantly say that I could not understand why someone would make a choice like that. But when I found out I was pregnant, fear took the wheel and being brave was the last thing on my mind. I convinced myself that an abortion would be the easy way out. Ryan and I would never have to tell a soul; we would never have to disappoint our families. We planned to pretend that this little “bump in life” never happened and continue going to church every Sunday.

Being brave can be hard

Help her be brave and fly in another direction

I came within moments of having an abortion, having made it as far as being in a medical gown and sitting on the cold table. While the nurses described how they would perform the abortion and what was about to happen, I had an anxiety attack, hyperventilated and passed out. 

Then, as the nurses were fanning me and trying to get me to drink some water, one of them looked me in the eyes and said, “You’re too emotionally distraught to make this decision today. You can come back another day, but today you’re not getting an abortion.”

I walked back out to the waiting room, and Ryan saw that my eyes were red and my face was swollen from crying so much.

“We’re still pregnant,” I said.

Being brave is a moment by moment decision

At that moment, we decided to see what would happen if we tried being brave. We were nervous about our future and how our families would respond to the news. But we were determined to figure it out.

We were so close to losing our amazing son because of fear, shame, and feeling that no one would understand. Fear lies to us and paralyzes us. In a crisis moment, it’s hard not to only focus on the worst thing that could happen. Yet, we can lose sight of what we know to be true – that God will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 12:5b). All we have to do is turn to Him and ask for help. He is our Rescuer and Savior. He can help you be braver than you think and find peace and confidence – even when things seem chaotic all around. 

A Bump in Life book cover

A Bump in Life

True stories of hope and courage during an unplanned pregnancy.

“Courage isn’t convenient. Bravery can leave bruises.” – Jim Daly

How to be brave

You don’t have to walk this out alone! Here are tips on being brave if you face an unexpected pregnancy or know someone in this situation

- Tell someone

It’s time to tell your family and friends. You might feel nervous about this, and if so, bring someone with you that you love and trust. It probably took you some time for the reality to sink in, so give them time, too. If they react and say things they might regret later because of hurt, just remember the truth of who God says you are—your new name. If you are concerned for your safety or think someone might try to harm you, seek a safe environment and wise counsel. Surround yourself with people that believe in you and care about your well-being.

Help her be brave rockets heading towards success

- Take good care of yourself

You and your baby are valuable and important. So, make an appointment right away to begin prenatal care. Here are some good ways to begin:

- Start making a plan

You have plenty of time to make a decision, but you can start praying through a plan. You are empowered to either be a fantastic momma for this child or choose a family that has prayed for their whole life for a baby. Either way, God will help and support you through it.

- Fall in love with Jesus

When you first fall in love with someone, it usually starts by spending time with that person. The more you spend quiet time with God, talking and listening and reading His Word, the more you fall in love with Him. He changes you from the inside out and He fills your heart with unexplainable peace, joy and hope. Find a church and get connected to a spiritual family. Raise your kid in the church. Start a new legacy for your family.

- Find community

Build a support system of women who believe in you and believe in the God that lives in you. Get plugged in. Find parenting information and classes at your local pregnancy center. In addition, find a church near you that offers support groups for women with unexpected pregnancies such as Embrace Grace. Go to EmbraceGrace.com to find a group near you!

- Get outside counsel

Sometimes getting outside Godly guidance from someone can help you see your circumstances from a different perspective and shed light on an issue you maybe haven’t thought of regarding your current situation or your future. Whether it’s talking through topics like relationships, school, job or the father of the baby, having Godly people in your life can help process your thoughts and pray through your circumstances.

Help her be brave a rocket with a lightbulb drawn around it is taking off

My son is 22 years old now, married and even writes for Focus on the Family sometimes. I can’t imagine my life without him. God chose me to bring this life into the world out of all the women on earth. Finally, He helped me be brave as I raised my son. He will help you too.

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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