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Unfortunately, summer camp environments do not guarantee your children’s complete safety. We want to come alongside your family as you prepare to send your children to summer camp so they can be safe and enjoy their time away.
It’s gut-wrenching. A variety of emotions swirl when reading the stories and accounts of sexual assault situations at summer camp. Unfortunately, a summer camp environment does not guarantee a child’s complete safety. Camp sexual assault cases exist. However, we want to come alongside you and your family as you prepare to send your children to summer camp. We understand that some difficult conversations can and should be part of that preparation.
Please know that our goal is not to scare you or draw an inaccurate portrayal of summer camp for everyone. We know that most summer camps contain healthy boundaries and sexual abuse training for their staff. I worked at a camp like this. It can work, and God can protect children from the unthinkable.
Yet, we know that there are victims of sexual abuse. Specifically, there are victims of sexual assault that occurred at camp. If you or your child is a victim of sexual abuse, know that we support you. Our heart breaks for the pain in your life.
We want to empower you to proactively educate your kids before they arrive at summer camp. As you read, we encourage you to maintain a healthy understanding of your situation, summer camp, and most importantly your children.
Summer camp can be both an exciting and anxious time. Your kids might experience a wave of emotions before they head off to camp. Your ability to maintain excitement for camp will be critical to your child’s summer camp experience. However, it’s also necessary to discuss important safety topics with your kids so that they feel protected and secure.
Whether it’s a day camp or overnight summer camp, there’s the potential for sexual abuse. Sadly, camp environments generate a number of factors that lead to opportunities for sexual assault.
During summer camp, kids experience a mixture of alone time with other campers and alone time with adults. The reality of summer camp is that there are not very many adults present at all times. Combine unusual access with alone time and summer camp can quickly create vulnerable moments for kids.
When summer camps do not have effective policies against sexual assault the opportunity for abuse rises. Going further, if a summer camp fails to adequately conduct thorough background checks, then the chance of adults with nefarious intentions working at camp is higher.
It’s a heartbreaking reality that sexual abuse occurs, and summer camps are not immune to this sin. However, you have the opportunity to prepare and protect your kids before they arrive at camp.
The following information is largely drawn from a conversation with Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. Many of the tips and strategies are common across both Focus on the Family and the Holcomb’s sexual abuse prevention content. – Editor’s Note
There are a few critical conversations that you can have with your children before they head off to summer camp. Whether it’s a day camp or an overnight camp, these same conversations should occur. Moreover, situations involving sexual abuse are not confined to overnight camp.
Throughout your interactions with your children, you want to communicate the seriousness of these situations without unnecessarily scaring them. When discussing topics like sexual abuse within a summer camp context, remember to use age-appropriate language.
Use phrases like:
Educating your child about appropriate and inappropriate touch might be the best thing you can do to set your child up for success in a summer camp environment. If you haven’t already, discuss what are appropriate ways for your child to be touched. Then, discuss what inappropriate situations might look like.
If it’s been a while since one of these conversations, re-engage about topics like body safety, the anatomically correct terms for body parts, and appropriate conversations about your child’s body.
Ask them key questions about appropriate touch too. Such as, “Who is allowed to touch you beyond a high five or fist bump?” “What would you do if someone touched you in an inappropriate area?”
Again, consider your child’s age and level of understanding. Use age-appropriate terminology and examples. The goal isn’t to scare or frighten them. Instead, try to educate and maintain excitement about camp without causing too much fear.
Depending on the age of your kids, you might consider discussing the policies for the summer camp with them. That way you can effectively communicate the camp’s standards.
This conversation can pair well with talking about appropriate and inappropriate touch. If your children see that your family values align with the camp’s values, then there’s a greater chance they arrive at camp with a clear understanding of what is allowed and what isn’t.
Another strategy you can use with your kids involves discussing “what-if” scenarios. Again, use your good judgement. But, “what-if” conversations can be helpful in allowing your child to process what he or she might do in difficult situations.
Recognizing a potential abuser might contain examples and language usually reserved for older kids. However, this could be a critical conversation for children of any age.
Talk through some of the situations that would not be okay to be alone with an adult. You can tie this conversation back to the previous talks about appropriate and inappropriate touch as well.
Finally, brainstorm safe people that your child can talk with if they think something strange is going on. Most camps have a camp nurse or camp director. These individuals could be trustworthy adults that are in a good position to help your kids.
Make sure you talk through how your children can contact you if something serious occurs. Always listen to your children. Use your parental wisdom and discernment to help them make the best decisions for their safety.
If you’re fortunate enough to have found a dependable babysitter, you probably understand the importance of doing your parental homework. Finding the right person to watch your kids is tough. It requires research, asking around, and ultimately trusting someone to watch the most precious people in your life.
Your approach to summer camp should be the same.
As best as you’re able, commit to researching a camp you’d like to send your kids to. Start to think of key questions you can ask camp staff. Then, also consider asking around your community to see if people have heard about that camp’s reputation.
Whether you call or visit, you can effectively screen a summer camp to protect your kids. Remember that your tone with the camp during this process should still be respectful. Be firm and direct but do your best to avoid negatively impacting your child’s summer camp experience.
Here are a few questions that can aid you during your conversations with the camp.
Focus on the Family advocates for a common acronym within settings involving suspected and confirmed sexual abuse. If a child discloses situations involving sexual abuse, use the acronym BAT.
Trust what the child has told you. Many people are still reluctant to believe a child when they reveal abuse. One reason is that the behavior of some children who are abused, which is a trauma that affects them emotionally and physically, can give adults the impression that their word can’t be trusted.
Clearly express your concern for your child. They need to know that you care and will be there for them. But never promise that you will be able to get them out of the situation. The only promises you can give is that you will be their support and will tell someone who can provide help.
Report the abuse to the appropriate authority. Reporting suspected child abuse will never come easy, and it should not. It is a serious and heartbreaking affair to be the one that has to bring attention to a horrible situation. In the long run, it is for the safety of the child. Your heart will be relieved to know that you did what you could to prevent child abuse.
Remember that you know your children and family the best. As you decide how to best approach the summer camp experience, we hope to encourage you. Make wise choices as you navigate summer camp. Be proactive in your screening process of the camp and its staff. Finally, continue to put your kids first by supporting, respecting, and listening to them.
We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together.
The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.
Justin Holcomb is a minister and a professor who teaches theology and apologetics at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and Reformed Theological Seminary. He holds a Ph.D. in theology from Emory University and has authored, co-authored or edited more than 20 books. Justin has written several books with his wife, Lindsey, including two books for survivors of abuse (Rid of My Disgrace and Is It My Fault?) and three children’s books (God Made All of Me, God Made Babies, and God Made Me in His Image). God Made All of Me focuses on helping parents protect their children from sexual abuse, a subject Lindsey is especially well-acquainted with as a former case manager at a sexual assault crisis center and a domestic violence shelter. Justin and Lindsey helped co-found REST, an organization dedicated to rescuing and protecting women and girls from the sex trafficking trade. The Holcombs reside in Orlando and have two young children. Learn more about their book God Made All of Me at the website https://justinholcomb.com/books/.
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Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.
Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.
You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.
Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.
Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, Real Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.
Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.
They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!
Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,
A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.
Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.
Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married Sex, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.
In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.
As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism
Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Strong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers.
Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
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