Have you ever played a game where the rules were not clearly understood, where no player was ever “out of bounds”? If so, you know about the chaos that ensues. The same is true of parenting—kids need clear boundaries. Not long ago, researchers from the University of Washington discovered that overly permissive parents tend to have children who are more entitled than their peers and tend to be the bullies in their social groups. But implementing boundaries can be tricky. When rules and expectations are enforced without love, grace and respect, the family atmosphere turns legalistic, without much room for grace and forgiveness.
In my counseling practice, I’ve met several families in which parents have wanted me to “fix” their child’s behavior problems. As I talked with these children and their parents, it became clear that the real issue was a lack of clear boundaries in their home, or rules that were too strict and not applied with love and grace.
Related Content: Take our free 7 Traits of Effective Parenting Assessment to see where you rank in the area of boundaries and limits.
As parents, we often don’t have the energy or capacity to be perfectly consistent with the limits and boundaries we design for our home. I’ve had many moments where I’ve let standards slide. But our goal should be overall consistency in pursuing this trait, even if we have moments when we fall short. Boundaries laced with love, respect and grace provide several important benefits to kids:
Related Content: Take our free 7 Traits of Effective Parenting Assessment to see where you rank in the area of boundaries and limits.
As parents, we often don’t have the energy or capacity to be perfectly consistent with the limits and boundaries we design for our home. I’ve had many moments where I’ve let standards slide. But our goal should be overall consistency in pursuing this trait, even if we have moments when we fall short. Boundaries laced with love, respect and grace provide several important benefits to kids: