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How Do I Talk to My Teen Son about Wet Dreams?

My teen son had a wet dream last night. What should I do next? How do I talk about this with him?

A “wet dream” is an unexpected release of seminal fluid or semen while your son is asleep. Since a wet dream usually happens at night, the medical term is “nocturnal emission.”

Seminal fluid is manufactured by the prostate gland and carries sperm out of the body during an ejaculation. It’s important to know that this is not a sign of a bodily malfunction, disease, or moral failure. Many times, it is a sign that the young man is allowing for his body to do its healthy cycling instead of choosing to masturbate or be sexually active.

It can, however, catch an adolescent off guard if he has not had any advance notice that 1) it can occur, and 2) it is not unusual. If you haven’t yet given your son this information, now would be an excellent opportunity to let him know.

Help your son not feel shame with this reality, but to gain understanding. And while you’re at it, discuss a much broader topic: What happens to him as he makes the transition from childhood to adulthood? 

This should not be limited to a one-time “birds and bees” conversation. Instead, this should be part of an ongoing series of conversations with him that encompass the length and breadth of his transition.

These are some of the topics you can discuss:

Above all, he needs to know that you are a calm, reliable, non-shaming source of information and insight about all matters relating to navigating this important period of his life.

For more resources on this topic, please explore our preteens here. To speak with one of our professional counselors, call 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459) for some guidance regarding your specific situation.

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Plugged In shines a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving families the essential tools they need to understand, navigate, and impact the culture in which they live. Let us help your family make wise and informed choices about movies, TV shows, music, video games, and more!
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If you need further guidance and encouragement, we have a staff of licensed, professional counselors who offer a one-time complimentary consultation from a Christian perspective. They can also refer you to counselors in your area for ongoing assistance.
Reach a counselor toll-free at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).
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Understand How to Respect and Love Your Son Well

"Why doesn’t my son listen to me?" Have you ever asked yourself that? The truth is, how you view your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. We’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Focus on Parenting Podcast

Mom or dad, could you use some encouragement and support? Put your ear buds in for this Christian parenting podcast and get practical, faith-based inspiration through all stages of parenting. Hosted by Dr. Danny Huerta, in every 8 to 15 minute episode, you’ll hear parenting experts share Biblical truths, effective parenting techniques, and useful resources that will help you feel equipped as a mom or dad in today’s culture.
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Learn How to Speak Your Strong-Willed Child's Language

In this free 6-part video series, Cynthia Tobias, author of many popular parenting books including You Can’t Make Me, explains why your strong-willed child thinks in certain ways and gives you effective tools you can use when communicating with him or her. Start today!

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