“A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.” – James E. Faust
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
My father knew the importance of teaching kids to be thankful.
From the time I was in third grade until my senior year in high school, I was a newspaper delivery boy. Throughout my years delivering newspapers, my dad would get up and help me roll the newspapers. Whenever he offered help to his children, my dad emphasized our need to say “thank you.” I’ll never forget when my dad taught me a foundational lesson on gratitude.
One cold winter morning, I woke up late and in a panic. I had forgotten to set my alarm and realized I would not make it to school on time. I ran to my parents’ bedroom and said, “Dad, I woke up late, and the newspapers aren’t rolled!”
Calmly, he rolled over in bed and stated, “You didn’t say ‘thank you’ yesterday. I won’t be helping you this morning. You’ll get it done.”
Then he rolled back over to go back to sleep. Emotionally, it must’ve been brutal for my dad. He loved helping us, and I know he didn’t want me to be late to school. However, he noticed that a more important lesson needed to be taught at that moment.
Teaching your kids to be thankful is critical for their development relationally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Teaching genuine and steadfast gratitude is challenging in a world where you can get almost anything on demand. Our culture constantly tries to drive a wedge between Jesus, truth, and reality. That’s why it is essential to start teaching gratitude early and in all things — big and small.
Author Robert Brault encourages us that noticing little blessings leads to appreciating what truly matters: “Enjoy the little things. For one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” – Robert Brault
From an early age, children are surrounded by messages that train them to be consumers of things and people. They’re led to believe that they deserve happiness.
Unfortunately, these messages create prideful and entitled perceptions in some children — as if they deserve what they have and that happiness is their right regardless of the expense.
The great news is God knows how we are made.
He knows that a grateful heart does not come naturally to us. It is something that is shaped in us along the way. Beautifully, gratitude can be taught in the day-to-day as a spiritual discipline that is modeled and shared.
It all begins with a heart that pursues a relationship with Him.
Psalm 103:2-5 instructs: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
You and I must intentionally direct our souls and households in this direction.
Here are five quick things you can begin doing to foster a culture of gratitude at each age and stage of your children’s development as you practice intentionality:
Colossians 3:16-17 provides excellent instruction for cultivating thankfulness in your behaviors as an overflow of your heart: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Creating a culture of gratitude in your home takes patience, consistency, and persistence — but the investment is worth it!
In fact, studies confirm that gratitude helps people have better physical, mental, and relational health. Every day offers an excellent opportunity to “reset” gratitude in your home. Since appreciation can help you be more loving and to experience God more deeply, it needs to become a priority in your family.
The bottom line for you as a mom or dad is not perfection, but getting creative and working hard to foster gratitude year-round instead of just at Thanksgiving.
Dr. Daniel Huerta is Vice President of Parenting and Youth for Focus on the Family, overseeing the ministry’s initiatives that equip moms and dads with biblical principles and counsel for raising healthy, resilient children rooted in a thriving faith.
He is a psychologist, a licensed clinical social worker, and the author of 7 Traits of Effective Parenting. For many years, he has provided families with practical, biblically-based and research-based parenting advice on topics including media discernment, discipline, communication, mental health issues, conflict resolution, and healthy sexuality in the home. He is passionate about coming alongside parents as they raise contributors, instead of consumers, in a culture desperately in need of God’s kingdom.
Dr. Huerta has been interviewed by various media outlets including Fox News, Fatherly, Christianity Today, WORLD Magazine, and CBN, and he is a frequent guest on Christian radio stations across the nation. He’s also written for publications, including The Washington Post, on various topics related to marriage and parenting. He participated in the development of Focus on the Family’s Launch Into the Teen Years, a resource to help parents prepare their kids for adolescence, and he speaks regularly at retreats, conventions, and online events.
Dr. Huerta has maintained a private practice in Colorado Springs, Colorado since 2003 and has served families through Focus on the Family since 2004. He and his wife, Heather, have been married since 1997 and love being parents to their three teen children, Alex, Lexi, and Maci.
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