All sorts of people would walk up to me on the streets of San Francisco and ask in a confused tone, “Why are you, a young woman, wasting your life out here sidewalk counseling in front of a Planned Parenthood, on a Saturday morning?” I had plenty of reasons.
My sidewalk counseling friends and I would wake up on Saturday mornings, drive across the Bay Bridge overlooking the foggy city, and pull into the Mission District. It is a neighborhood that is fondly loved by locals and tourists alike for the vibrant culture of old school Latino roots, awesome food, and hipster energy. Despite all the quaint eateries and picturesque views, I was there because Saturdays were usually abortion procedure days, and I wanted to get there before the clinic opened to talk to as many abortion vulnerable women as possible.
Key Takeaways:
• Sidewalk counseling is a compassionate outreach outside abortion clinics that offers women and their companions supportive conversation and practical resources. The goal is for women to ultimately choose life and feel equipped to do so.
• Effective sidewalk counseling involves meeting women where they are, whether they are considering abortion, unsure, or seeking information. Volunteers connect women to supportive services such as local pregnancy centers.
• Allies including partners, fathers, family members, and friends can play an important role in these moments. Encouraging supportive conversation and guiding women to resources helps them make informed choices during a vulnerable time.
What Is Sidewalk Counseling?
Sidewalk counseling is a form of abortion outreach where volunteers talk with individuals outside clinics to offer support and alternatives. The goal of sidewalk counseling is to provide options other than abortion for women in hopes that they will choose life. Conversations are not limited just to abortion-minded women though. Sidewalk counseling is a wonderful opportunity to engage in conversations with the variety of people on the sidewalk. During my time, I learned abortion does not affect only women, rather it is a destructive chain reaction that hurts everyone she cares about – including the child in or out of the womb, the child’s father, friends and family. Sidewalk counseling can help make a difference for eveyone affected by abortion and offer alternatives that ultimately lead to a choice for life.
Signs of Abortion-Minded Women: Sidewalk Counseling Strategies
There are several types of abortion-minded women who go into abortion clinics, as well as several types of abortion. It’s important to understand what signs to look out for when doing sidewalk counseling so that you can most effectively implement life-affirming strategies to help these men and women in crisis.
Signs of Abortion Pill Users
This woman will pop into the clinic briefly. Later, she exits holding a paper bag she did not have before coming in. From my experience, the paper bag usually contains chemical abortion pills. However, it’s important to ask what’s in the bag before assuming. If it is confirmed that the bag contains the abortion pill, then I personally would graciously inform the woman about the detrimental effects of taking said pill. It’s also important to emphasize that the abortion pill is not a quick fix solution like some say it is. Providing information about abortion pill reversal can prove to be especially helpful if the abortion-minded woman takes the abortion pill and regrets her decision. Women deserve to know the reality of chemical abortion and ways to reverse its effects if possible.
Signs of Surgical Abortion Patients
I would see a woman and her male partner, parent or friend walking side-by-side into the clinic. If the woman is still in the clinic, but her companion comes out without her, it is likely that the abortion procedure is taking place. At this point, I would attempt to engage in a conversation with her companion. Perhaps they are not in favor of the abortion and might help change her mind. This is especially relevant in light of recent studies that show that 38% of men whose partners received an abortion said they were the most influential person in the woman’s decision. In other words, abortion-minded women may change their mind if their companions or partners voice their disapproval of the abortion.
In my experience, the companion or partner of the abortion-minded woman often looks uncomfortable and leaves the premises avoiding us. However, there are rarer cases where they are willing to listen and talk to the woman.
Seeing women post-procedure – drugged out, exhausted, and hollow-eyed as she slowly walks out is one of the most disheartening sights. It may be worthwhile to attempt to talk to her at this point, depending on how she is feeling. Gently offering her post-abortive resources can be very helpful and loving. Personally, I would gently offer a care package with snacks, a handwritten card, and a resource list for post-abortion care in case she ever regrets her abortion.
What to Say Before Her Final Appointment
It is always a great idea to talk to any woman even if it is not clear why she is there. She can be coming back later to have her surgical abortion or for a pregnancy test. Unfortunately, by the time a woman and her companion are walking in for procedure day, there is a slim chance that the decision will be reversed. Therefore, it is a great opportunity to have conversations earlier on in the decision-making process.
Regardless of where she is in her process, it is good to let her know about a pregnancy resource center that will provide more support. In my time as a sidewalk advocate, I’ve passed out hundreds of local pregnancy resource center lists to non-pregnant women. Although I will never find out how many women actually chose or will choose life, it is encouraging to know many of these women at least had the resources to make a better informed decision for the future.
- Search for your local pregnancy center – MyChoiceNetwork.org
- Find help for a woman in a crisis pregnancy – Optionline.org
Sidewalk Counseling Women Not Considering Abortion
Some women go to abortion clinics for services other than abortion, including pregnancy tests, women’s health checkups, contraception, and STI testing. Part of sidewalk counseling is to also lovingly engage with these women not considering abortion. Everyone has a story. Unfortunately, many of these women are unaware about the concerns of the abortion industry from which they are seeking resources. Informing these women of other programs that provide the same resources they are looking for but don’t perform abortions helps take traffic away from these harmful abortion clinics.
Resources for women not considering abortion:
In my memory, there was one woman that was in the terrible situation of being sexual abused. To make matters worse, she was not a US citizen or resident, so Planned Parenthood was one of the only places she could go to without insurance. She discovered she was not pregnant and was going in for STI testing. It was shocking to me as she expressed that more than health services, she wanted a safe place where she could be supported for the trauma that had emotionally scarred her. I was happy to connect her to a local pregnancy resource center, which offered counseling services, and to a woman from my church.
Sidewalk Counseling Men and Fathers
When sidewalk counseling, its common to see the baby’s father. He may be the boyfriend, husband or someone else to the woman. He will either be waiting around, giving rides, or coming in and out of the clinic to serve the woman’s needs.
In my own experience as a sidewalk counselor, the fathers that I had the hardest time connecting to were the ones who looked apathetic, emotionally checked out or bored. On the other hand, the fathers that took care of their girl usually were easier to talk to since he cared about her. Sometimes, fathers can get angry on behalf of the mother, thinking abortion is the best option. On the other hand, the father may be willing to listen, which is a good opportunity to present him with the truth of abortion. In cases where the father feels unable to speak up against the abortion, it’s important to encourage him that his opinion does matter. I have seen a father successfully talk to his girlfriend out of the clinic by being vocal about supporting her and the baby.
One sad memory that comes to mind from my time sidewalk counseling is encountering a homeless family in Oakland. With already little resources and two children to care for, the father was openly teetering between being in favor of abortion for his pregnant wife and agreeing that abortion is wrong. Sadly, I suspect his wife came back to get an abortion because the husband landed on the decision, even though there were resources to support the whole family. This story goes to show that even despite our greatest efforts, sometimes sidewalk counseling does not always result in a life-affirming decision, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying. Rather than letting those disappointing moments deter us from sidewalk counseling, we should view them as opportunities to learn and grow in our efforts to help preborn children and abortion-minded women and men.
Sidewalk Counseling Family Members and Friends
Typically, a legal-aged adult needs to pick up a woman who goes through an abortion procedure. It will usually be a parent, family member, or friend. I have seen young girls in middle or high school teeter out accompanied by their stony-faced mothers. There are also situations in which a mother and child walk out as discreetly as possible and staunchly avoid any eye contact. Sometimes, siblings or friends will come to help so that the secret of the baby’s conception can remain hidden. I was in a tough place of being that trusted friend, and sadly I failed for a lack of knowledge to truly do or say anything helpful.
Several years before I was aware of the abortion industry and began sidewalk counseling, some of my college friends got into difficult situations that landed them at the very abortion clinic that I would talk to women in the future. It is something I regret, but I didn’t know the truth, just like many women today. This story is another example of why spreading the truth of abortion is so important. Women deserve to be fully informed of their choices, which is something the abortion industry has notoriously not provided them.
Sidewalk Counseling Clinic Workers
During sidewalk counseling, it’s common to see clinic workers in scrubs, briskly coming in and out of the facility. Depending on the clinic, security guards often watch for aggressive behavior or infringement on trespassing ordinances. Sometimes, workers can be seen escorting a drugged and exhausted woman that just finished her abortion procedure to a car. Typically, most workers, regardless of their role, tend to ignore any sidewalk counselors or have a hostile attitude. However, there are rarer instances in which clinic workers are willing to have an open conversation.
Do not be afraid to speak to the workers! According to And Then There was None, a non-profit set up to encourage and support abortion clinic workers to leave the industry, there have been over 600 quitters in 44 U.S. states. If you know or ever have a chance to candidly speak to an abortion clinic worker, there are resources to help them get informed on the abortion industry’s practices that are unethical and harmful.
Watch: How To Shut Down Your Local Abortion Clinic
Encountering Other Sidewalk Counselors
There have been times when I have encountered other sidewalk counselors, which is always a pleasant surprise. It can be great to connect, share resources and even coordinate a schedule to cover more time in the week to reach more women and men.
Conclusion / Summary
Sidewalk counseling is a powerful way to support women facing unexpected pregnancies. By meeting women where they are and offering compassionate conversation, volunteers can provide encouragement, information, and practical resources. Local pregnancy centers play a key role by offering additional support and options, and partners, friends, and family can also influence these decisions, helping women feel heard and supported.
Psalm 145:9 reminds us that “His mercy is over all His works.” The issue of abortion is messy and wounding to many, but Christ’s mercies cover every mistake. Volunteers can lean into God’s mercy as they serve, knowing there are many opportunities to love and support women outside abortion clinics. Sidewalk counseling can quite literally be the difference between life and death, equipping women to choose life and feel confident in their decision.
