If we don’t intentionally pass on a legacy consistent with our beliefs and values, our culture will pass along its own.
No matter who we are, where we live, or what our goals may be, we all have one thing in common: a heritage. That is, a social, emotional and spiritual legacy passed on from parent to child. Every one of us is passed family legacies. Also, we live out a family legacy. Then, we give a family legacy to our family. It’s not an option. Parents always pass a legacy to their children.
A spiritual, emotional and social legacy is like a three-stranded cord. Individually, each strand cannot hold much weight. But wrapped together, they are strong. That’s why passing on a positive, affirming legacy is so important and why a negative legacy can be so destructive. The good news is that you have help. With God’s help, you can decide to pass a positive legacy on to your children whether you received one or not.
Today, if we don’t intentionally pass a legacy consistent with our beliefs to our children, our culture will pass along its own, often leading to a negative end. It is important to remember that passing on a spiritual, emotional and social legacy is a process, not an event. As parents, we are responsible for the process. God is responsible for the product. We cannot do God’s job, and He won’t do ours.
In order to prosper, our children need an enduring sense of security and stability nurtured in an environment of safety and love. Also, parents have the unique opportunity to develop healthy conversations surrounding emotional and mental health within family legacies.
To really succeed in life, our children need to learn more than management techniques, accounting, reading, writing and geometry. They need to learn the fine art of relating to people. If they learn how to relate well to others, they’ll have an edge in the game of life.
Often the Spiritual Legacy is overlooked. But that’s a mistake. As spiritual beings, we adopt attitudes and beliefs about spiritual matters from one source or another. Furthermore, as parents, we need to take the initiative and present our faith to our children.
For each family, these legacies might look different. Remember, that the goal isn’t to compare your family to others. Rather, there are opportunities to look at other family legacies to create unique habits in your own family. As you explore each type of family legacy, ask yourself key questions about your own family. Also, be honest. Then, prioritize how you can have meaningful conversations with your spouse, children, and other family members about your family legacy.
Sadly, many of us struggle to overcome a negative emotional legacy that hinders our ability to cope with the inevitable struggles of life. But imagine yourself giving warm family memories to your child. You can create an atmosphere that provides a child’s fragile spirit with the nourishment and support needed for healthy emotional growth. However, it will require time and consistency to develop a sense of emotional wholeness. Yet, the rewards are immense.
Which characteristics would you like to build into the legacy you pass along to your children? Even if you don’t hit the exact mark, setting up the right target is an important first step.
In order to prosper, our children need to gain the insights and social skills necessary to cultivate healthy, stable relationships. As children mature, they must learn to relate to family members, teachers, peers and friends. Eventually they must learn to relate to coworkers and many other types of people such as salespeople, bankers, mechanics and bosses.
Nowhere can appropriate social interaction and relationships be demonstrated more effectively than in the home. At home you learned — and your children will learn — lessons about respect, courtesy, love and involvement. Our modeling as parents plays a key role in passing on a strong social legacy.
Parents who successfully pass along a spiritual legacy to their children model and reinforce the unseen realities of the godly life. We must recognize that passing a spiritual legacy means more than encouraging our children to attend church, as important as that is. The church is there to support parents in raising their children but it cannot do the raising; only parents can.
The same principle applies to spiritual matters. For example, parents are primary in spiritual upbringing, not secondary. Also, this is especially true when considering that children, particularly young children, perceive God the way they perceive their parents. If their parents are loving, affirming, forgiving and yet strong in what they believe, children will think of God that way. God cares. He is principled. Above all, he loves our children better than we ever could.
Family legacies are central to the development of our children. Furthermore, family legacies are important within the Bible’s wisdom involving parenting. As your children continue to grow up, tinker with how your family approaches its legacy. Remember to engage in age-appropriate conversations focused on key topics that are relevant to your family’s legacy.
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